Ex-gf wrote me a letter...

[SadHatter]

My gf broke up with me about a month ago after two years together. She was 18, I was 25. I'm gutted. Since then we've been in and out of contact, sometimes initiated by her and sometimes by me. I feel like we've also been playing games with each other, either intentionally or unintentionally.

 

Today she called me and said she doesnt want to speak to me now for three months until January as hopefully we can then be friends as its too hard right now. I went to my sister's, I felt so upset and low, and I cuddled my newbon nephew all night while my sister and her boyfriend gave me advice and just told me I have to leave her alone now. My ex-gf told me she wont text or ring me until January (why then I don't know, but I can't see us ever being friends again, she'll probably have a bf then)...she said if I ever ring or text her in that period she will simply ignore it.

 

As I was leaving my sister's, my ex-gf text me and said, "I've e-mailed you a letter. xxx"

 

It read...

 

Well here’s that letter that I’ve been putting off so unsuccessfully! I’ve been putting it off because it’s so hard to tell someone you really care for that you don’t want to share your future with them. But here goes.

The first thing you’re owed is a humungous thank you. Thank you for your generosity over the years, thank you for all the smiles and laughs we’ve shared and thank you for looking after me so well. But the biggest thank you (and this is where you shot yourself in the foot!) is for helping me find me. I’d lost all sight of who I was and what I could do before I met you. Only you truly know how low I’d become. But day-by-day you told me I was beautiful inside and out and I could feel this new person within me grow and flourish. You gave me the confidence to follow my dreams and I am so excited about doing so.

My biggest regret about all of this is meeting you at such a young age. If only we met now or in a few years time so that I would be ready for all the complex feelings you experience. In truth, at sixteen, I was still really a child when we met. I fell under the spell of an older guy and as you know, I worshipped the ground you walked on! But it didn’t last because I’ve matured a lot and have focused my mind on different things. I am so frustrated that your feelings became caught up in this but in hindsight it was inevitable.

Every time you tell me of all the love you have to give to me I think about the lucky lady who one day will be on the receiving end. You are such a lovely person and you know it (a little too much sometimes ). You are so considerate, generous and loving that any girl would be lucky to be in your arms. And you think I don’t care.. but it hurts so much writing this. I really wanted it to work. *crying *

Honestly.. for the last few months of our relationship I was hurting so much inside. Everytime you ignored what I was trying to say I wanted to scream. And gradually the passion and feelings inside died.

I am at a different chapter in my life now. But I am so grateful for all the memories I have to look back on. Liverpool, RG, numerous nights at the tids, cuddles and pizza after a night out.. so many more. N its not the big ones that are special.. it’s all the times we just chilled out, cuddling and giggling. They’ll never be forgotten.

You’re quite predictably going to be annoyed with the shabbiness and shortness of this letter but I’m finding it heartbreaking to write. I’ve never wanted to hurt you. Never. And that’s all I seem to do lately.

I know I’ve said no contact until the new year.. and that’s a big ask for both us, but I know I can’t be your friend while you’re still so in love and your emotions are so raw. If at the end of this ‘no contact’ you don’t want to know then I accept it’s the price I have to pay. I just hope you’re ok.

Thank you for everything and I’m so upset it didn’t work out. Just let this be a learning experience. (how ****ing empty are my words. This is so hard.)

I would re-word this and dress it up.. but I want it to be fresh and open when you receive it. Sorry.

 

Forever sorry

 

What does everyone think??? This is sooooooooo hard...I guess now I have to leave her alone for good...

[sao2]

Maybe it is just my bitterness but someone telling me they are upset that it didn't work out while they are breaking your heart just doesn't go over too well for me.

 

If you love me like that then be with me and work through it. If you don't want to be with me like that then don't expect me to feel sorry for the hurt you feel. Living with that pain alone is the dumper's curse. You don't get to put it on me.

 

But like I said, maybe that is just my bitterness talking.

 

 

Yes, just leave it alone for good. She doesn't seem like a bad person, just not ready for a relationship. It happens.

[Lee725]

To me it seems that her sense of "self" has changed as she has gotten older. Our feelings, thoughts and ideals do change as we age. Even tho it appears that you both "Clicked" in the beginning something was lost along the way. Girls in their late teens and early twenties normally do go thru a mental "transformation" as such which can alter their perspective on things. (i suppose guys go thru it too), which is why at 25 you knew what you wanted and at 18 she has changed her mind. This is of no comfort to you i know. She needs to come to terms with what she wants in her life, men, career, family etc. I am so sorry that my words offer you little comfort and i know all to well the pain of not being with someone you love, nothing can change that for you except for time. As hard as it will be try to ensure that you maintain social contact with friends - they can help to pass the time when all you can think about is them. She may find you again, she may not. It is a hard time you are fighting through (and i can relate) You need to find peace within yourself and by peace i mean going thru the difficult process of accepting what has happened and then you will become open to the possibility of finding love elsewhere or if she comes back you may find it again with her.

[Diplok]

She doesn't seem like a bad person. She seems confused. Just let her be and go live your life. easier said than done but when you have only one option then you know exactly what to do.