tara.tang Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 This guy I have REALLY liked for a long time, he has never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl before, and he has been made fun of alot for not having confidence. I know this is cheap, one night we flirted while we were drunk. He was only a little bit, I was alot more. My pals there knew I still liked him so they encouraged us and kept trying to make us touch each other, he kept subtlely trying to touch me and even asked me if I thought he was attractive. He held doors open for me and such. He left me 2 voicemails later one saying "I hope you got back to your room ok Ill see you or IM you" and he did and he kept asking me questions about how I was and my hangover and stuff. He also wrote on my Facebook wall. Hes never done any of these things before, I thought they were good signs, I was told a guy would never say those things if he didnt like you. The day after at practice he joined the crowd at practice and said Hi How are U, I thought this was a good sign. I knew he wouldnt make a move because hes so shy. Later he started acting kinda akward around me, it could have been my imagination since hes an awkward kind of boy. I thought it might be because he liked me. Well my friend who was there that night who is close friends with him said "He doesnt have feelings for you, its as simple as that. A 1000 people there that night constantly badgered him about you afterwards, that didnt help a huge amount. He never said anything about messages. hes stupid trust me, didnt mean anything by it prob wondered why you were acting funny, hed like to be friends though" Although the next morning whe my crush talked to me he never brought that up. I was sad but held onto the hope that hes so shy that he wouldnt tell his friends how he actually felt about me. He keeps saying hi to me. We're in band together and sometimes when Im trying to ignore him and it seems like hes ignoring me he randomly says hi. The day my friend told me that stuff I ate next to him and he kept looking at me when I looked away. Well I found out that he now knows what my friend told me, and isnt mad at him for telling me. (guess hes too shy to) so now its really hit me he doesnt like me, unless hes continued to lie. So I think he keeps saying hi because he wants no hard feelings and feels bad for me? My friend who told me also meddled alot and he kept saying he was sorry and I said it wouldnt have made a difference if u hadnt and he said maybe not. Im so sad, bc I really want to date this guy but Im 99% sure he doesnt like me now, and I feel like my immature friends ruined everything.
mpower95 Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Maybe I can give you some helpful insight. I was a very shy, geeky kid in high school and this one popular girl actually liked me and made many efforts to get me to come out of my shell. I reciprocated a little, but made no real attempt to get with her. Its not that I wasn't interested, but I was just so intimidated by the fact she was popular and also because her friends kept egging me on to "man up" and ask her out. I was always second guessing myself thinking what this girl would even want with me. She eventually lost interest and found someone else. I snoozed and lost. So I wouldn't necessarily say that he doesn't like you, because he has shown glimmers of interest. But, if you're showing all these signs of interest and he's not really doing much, then what? Are you going to keep pressing on? You will have to face the fact that it may take a very long time for this guy to come out of his shell. My suggestion would be to keep some form of contact with him if you have hopes of hooking up in the future, but at the same time do your thing and date other guys.
MR2Aaron Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 What I see in most of the threads on here started by high school age people is that it's usually about a crush, not someone they know well already. Maybe I was weird (I was very much like the kid this girl is after), but the girls I had crushes on rarely knew who I was or were on terms friendlier than "that guy in my one class." As perhaps a more actionable solution that what mpower suggested, try to establish a rapport with this guy. Looking back, there was one girl in particular who did to me basically what you're doing to this guy, but I was simply not perceptive enough to realize it at the time, and didn't know her that well, so she just seemed abnormally friendly when she'd follow me out of government class. Try being a bit more direct - when you see him at lunch, say "Hi," and ask him if you can join him. Then make small talk. If he's anything like I was then, he's not going to put his ego on the chopping block for someone he isn't pretty sure is interested, so you're probably going to have to drop more hints than you'd think is necessary.
JosieMcCoy Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Yes! You should give up now! You answered your own question! Cheers!
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