Blue Eyed Brain Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I was at a sporting event and one of the players on the team came up to me and tapped his stick on the glass (in front of my face). He then skated away and smiled as he looked back at me. Once the game was being played, he would look over at me and smile (I kept looking behind me to see if he was referring to someone else. After the game ended, I ran out of the arena. A few weeks later, I saw him at a high school event and we both double taked each other. The next night, my son was trying out for a spot on a travel team and the guy that tapped his stick, was the coach! My son is now on the team and I see "Tap Man" at the games and some practices. He likes to show off when he's coaching and looks over at me to see if I'm watching. From time to time, we give each other smiles and glances. What are we doing? I don't know what I want out of this (if I want anything), but what do ya think he wants? What made him "Tap Me" in the first place? What do you think?
Cobra_X30 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Yes, he is attempting to persue you. Is either one of you married?
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 We are both married with children the same age.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 We are both married with children the same age. Sounds like a potential disaster! This guy is pretty cavalier about getting your attention. What kind of signals are you throwing his way? any? What is your marriage worth to you at the moment?
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 Yes, I was shocked at his approach. Well, I do watch the practices (he assists in the drills) and from time to time I will smile. Most of the time I am watching the plays, drills and my own child's performance. When I see him watching me and it's not creepy, I will shoot him a look or maybe a smile. The last time the team traveled it was my birthday and he asked my age and said "in about 5 years." I smiled. He then came around and asked me if I wanted my favorite beer (he remembered from another event we were at). He's very good looking and successful. Although, witnessing his interactions with his wife, I don't think they are happy. His wife talked to me a few weeks ago and mentioned that he is not nice to her and that her son picks up on it. My situation: Married for 18 years (together for 21), with one child. My husband is stubborn, manipulative and engrossed with sports. I've asked my husband to go to counseling but he won't. So I go. My analyst says that "I'm in theraphy, 'cause my husband isn't." Within the past year, I have had a very flirtatous, non-physical relationship with a single guy at work. I've interacted with a guy I met but didn't like him, so ended it within a week, and have lots of guys (work and at play) interested in me. It's not that I'm all it, it's just that I am friendly and I think men respond to me because I am cheerful. Why Tap Man wants me is anyone's guess???? Also, I don't know if he will ever make a move, and if he does if I will respond to it.
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 So what is your question? Is he pursuing me?
reboot Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Is he pursuing me?Maybe. Maybe he's just being friendly. Ask him.
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 I will not ask him, but I will continue to be friendly back. There's no harm in smiling.
reboot Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 So what happens if he *is* pursuing you? Are you interested? I assume you wouldn't be asking if you weren't.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 My situation: Married for 18 years (together for 21), with one child. My husband is stubborn, manipulative and engrossed with sports. I've asked my husband to go to counseling but he won't. So I go. My analyst says that "I'm in theraphy, 'cause my husband isn't." Within the past year, I have had a very flirtatous, non-physical relationship with a single guy at work. I've interacted with a guy I met but didn't like him, so ended it within a week, and have lots of guys (work and at play) interested in me. It's not that I'm all it, it's just that I am friendly and I think men respond to me because I am cheerful. Ok, Imagine it like this. Your wandering through the desert... its hot, the sun is beating down, and your thirsty. Your husband has plenty of water... but has walked too far ahead to see that you are in need. Now your looking around to see if there is somebody nearby who will take care of your thirst. Thats not a good situation! Before you continue down this path you need to take the extra steps required to get your husband to come back and be a husband again. Guys are dumb like that. All of us! Your going to have the same issue with all of us. Sit the H down and lay it out. "Hey stupid... I need X, Y, and Z. You have 2 months to change or I hit you with divorce papers". "and make that change el permanento, cause I'm not going to take neglect in the future". Then the balls in his court. That make sense?
SarahBeth04 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Ok, Imagine it like this. Your wandering through the desert... its hot, the sun is beating down, and your thirsty. Your husband has plenty of water... but has walked too far ahead to see that you are in need. Now your looking around to see if there is somebody nearby who will take care of your thirst. Thats not a good situation! Before you continue down this path you need to take the extra steps required to get your husband to come back and be a husband again. Guys are dumb like that. All of us! Your going to have the same issue with all of us. Sit the H down and lay it out. "Hey stupid... I need X, Y, and Z. You have 2 months to change or I hit you with divorce papers". "and make that change el permanento, cause I'm not going to take neglect in the future". Then the balls in his court. That make sense? Ditto! Ditto! Ditto!
MrsHellnoFire Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Of course he's pursuing you. But do you care or are you willing to risk your marriage for any man who gives you the attention you so desperately need? I would address those concerns about feeling special and given attention to etc with my husband.
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I wouldn't call it 'pursuing' so much as I'd call it looking to have some fun on the side. And let's be honest - surely you don't think you're the FIRST one he's pulled this crap with, do you? That would be a grave mistake to assume that he just lost his head in your presence, and has never been a dog in the past. He sounds VERY practiced at hitting on women and letting them know he's got an itch he'd like you to scratch. In truth, he sounds downright smarmy.
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I don't know if he is perusing you, but its clear that he is flirting with you. Maybe he picks up the "she is the sort who cheats" vibe off of you, and sees you as an easy and convenient target - a disposable possibility for cheating on his wife with. After all, a married woman isn't as likely to cause him as many problems with the status quo as a single woman. I have heard of guys who target married women, simply because they aren't as likely to hassle you about commitment or push you to leave your marriage.
whichwayisup Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 What are you really wanting out of this? Other than an ego feed - Are you preparing to have an affair with this guy? Think of your kid!! This is HIS coach.
Trialbyfire Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 Men and women flirt all the time but it doesn't necessarily lead to anything more. More importantly, how low will you go?
FireandIce Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Maybe he's just flirting and that's it. It has been known to happen. IMO just enjoy the innocent little flirtation and leave it at that. We all like to be flirted with and yes, it does feel good but don't do something that will embarass you, your husband, him, his wife and most of all, THE KIDS.
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