nathan339 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Ok well my girlfriend broke up with me a month ago yesterday, and i've tried no contact for at least 2 and a half weeks and it seems like shes just drifting further away. Is that even long enough? What do I do? I really care for her and she wont call or text or anything. Ahhh how do I get her back?
lexi29 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Why did she break up with you? If she doesn't want you back there really isn't anything you can do to make her take you back. I would give her some time to miss you and maybe she will decide she made a bad decision and come back to you. But a lot of that depends on the nature of the break up, how old you are and how long you two were together.
Author nathan339 Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 She broke up with me becuase she said it didn't feel "the same" anymore. Which was my fault for moping around and acting sad because of other things in my life and i thought she would be there for me. She tried to plead with me to be her friend and i didn't give a definite answer. I'm 18 and shes 17. She just hasn't contacted me yet and i've been giving her space so I don't know what i'm doing wrong.
jt1981 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Guy's perspective. I agree with the last post. It really depends on how long you have been dating?
MattyTee Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 The thing is Nathan breaking contact with her isn't going to make her come back to you. The idea of NC is to take a break for yourself and turn the focus around from your relationship back on to you. From your post it seems like there are other aspects of your life that were making you sad. I can relate to this because I had clinical depression at the end of my relationship and it wasn't easy for my partner (ironically I think she had it too ). Why not take another step and perhaps see a counselor? Take this time out to get happy within yourself - that change may or may not make her think about a second chance. I know that you don't really want to hear that now (I didn't). Also, two and a half weeks isn't a lot of time. If you are the one who has been heartbroken chances are it has felt like several years to you.
Author nathan339 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 Yeah we were dating for a year and 2 months. But yeah you're right i've been thinking about seeing a counselor or somebody. The other things in my life wouldn't be so bad if I had her to help me through but she decided things didn't feel the same and left me. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, I never find anything funny, I don't eat, I can't sleep, and this has only been 1 month but it seems like 10 years. I'm trying to better myself to look more attractive in her eyes by making it seem like i'm trying to carry on without her, but deep down I really need her. She just acts weird now and I don't know how to get through to her. I've tried everything, reading any books I could find on the subject but they don't help too much, and I ask for advice sometimes but I still can't figure it out. I never did anything, in my opinion I was way too nice and gave her everything she wanted. Mistake because now she thinks shes the center of everyone's universe. I just want her to realize that I care about her more than her stupid friends that shes so obsessed with. I just don't know what to do, I dunno the first step to getting a girl back.
tomwiz Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 If you really want her back, realize that you dont "need her", you want her as a part of your life. I made the same kinda mistakes as you. My ex-gf and I didnt speak for 3 weeks. Guess what, somehow it got around to her that I was going out, having fun, dancing with women...and I think it hit home to her that I really wasnt going to wait around forever, and I wasnt that miserable anymore (even though deep down I was)...but now, I just go out have a good time, expand my social network and she's been calling....we have little chats every now and then and I never bring up the relationship..If its meant to be man, itll work out, all you can do now is see a therapist, start working out and go out and have a good time...you better yourself enough and either one of two things will happen, either she'll come back b/c you were the man she remembered fondly, or you will have a new better you to seek out another mate
Blue Eyed Brain Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Sorry I disagree with TomWiz - women don't like competition, men do. It seems that you may have changed and she is not responding to your change. Women love confident men and if you are troubled, she may think that the relationship won't work because you have other issues. She's giving you room to get through your issues. Don't call her. Get through whatever it is and then call her when it's resolved. You will at least have a friend, and maybe rekindle the love relationship.
Author nathan339 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 Cool, got it. But I'm afraid she might like another guy. Now what the heck am I gonna do? Gaaaaah!
Author nathan339 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 Also shes starting to hang around the wrong people, shes also stubborn and thinks she has all the answers. She didn't used to be that way but she just thinks shes the best person ever. I don't know if she'll call me because shes acting different and it seems like she thinks shes too good for me. Is that normal?
MattyTee Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I have no idea if it's normal but my ex behaves completely differently now - like a complete personality switch. It might just be the way some people deal with something like this.
Author nathan339 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 Thats what I thought too. Shes like the complete opposite of who she used to be.
CaliGuy Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 Ok well my girlfriend broke up with me a month ago yesterday, and i've tried no contact for at least 2 and a half weeks and it seems like shes just drifting further away. Is that even long enough? What do I do? I really care for her and she wont call or text or anything. Ahhh how do I get her back? Nope. There's nothing YOU can do to get her back. She has to want to do that on her own. The best thing you can do is accept that it's over and move on with your life. If she changes her mind, she will let you know. My guess is by the time that happens, if ever, you'll be long moved on with someone new.
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