smokiejjj Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 My wife left me a few weeks ago. I'm hurt and even though she is saying many things about the reasons why, I believe she is having an affair, based on some earlier things she told me. I want to divorce but I am thinking that I should make her go to counseling as my lawyer says state law (pa) can make her go to counseling for 3 sessions with me. I doubt she will change but I just want her to see the pain I'm going through - she moved out and does not want to have any contact with me. It is like she just totally left. She used to call last week and was very angry on the phone - now she no longer even calls. Another option is to hire a private eye just to get some proof so I can at least feel there was a reason.
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Get that private eye and get proof of what she's doing, check your old phone bills for old numbers that keep repeating, Dig into your computer. The best thing you should have is a peace of mind. The reason she doesnt want to contact you is because she feel guilty. I'd say let her go, file for divorce and pay her her half of the house and change the locks. You dont owe her anything to be helpful. Dont waste yor money on something that aint gonna do anything to help. I wonder if you got any children? If not prepare for the rest of your life and move on, she aint worth it. Have you told your family members yet about her leaving? Your suspicions? Anything? As much as it hurt and your in pain. You gotta move on and dont look back. Whatever you choose good luck to you.
Trialbyfire Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 She's already left the marriage, physically, mentally and emotionally. Don't fight for someone who's not worth it. Walk away and invest on individual therapy for yourself, to help you manage the pain and subsequent emotional roller coaster ride.
Author smokiejjj Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 Why not do both? I don't know if I can do both the divorce and counseling but I will talk to my lawyer. I can delay the divorce for up to 2 years is as long as I can delay it. But if we both agree to divorce it only takes a few months. I want to delay it just because I'm angry and want her to not be able to remarry for at least 2 years. It sucks and I should get on with my life but I just am so hurt - I want some type of justice.
quankanne Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 counseling might give you some answers; it also will force her to focus on the marriage while she's still part of it. However, if she's cut and run the way she has, I can't imagine there's anything to salvage – she probably has done her best to burn bridges. the private eye also is a good idea, might give you some leverage in the divorce proceedings.
Author smokiejjj Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 I wonder if you got any children? If not prepare for the rest of your life and move on, she aint worth it. Have you told your family members yet about her leaving? Your suspicions? Anything? Whatever you choose good luck to you. Thanks man. We have no children thank God. I have told the family and mentioned some of my suspicions. Can you believe it but she emailed my sister telling my sister what an ass I was - and she was the one that left out of the blue ! Thank God my sister saw through it and didn't buy any of it. I knew she was trouble and the marriage was bad when 1 week before the wedding demanded that I convert to her religion. I want to move on and know their are lots of women out there - but it is so tough to get over the feelings.
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Thanks man. We have no children thank God. I have told the family and mentioned some of my suspicions. Can you believe it but she emailed my sister telling my sister what an ass I was - and she was the one that left out of the blue ! Thank God my sister saw through it and didn't buy any of it. I knew she was trouble and the marriage was bad when 1 week before the wedding demanded that I convert to her religion. I want to move on and know their are lots of women out there - but it is so tough to get over the feelings. You will! First thing first is to focus on just yourself! Her sister saw right through her BS which was good! Do not think of her! if the marriage was so bad thank god she actually left and didnt put up a fight about the house or your assests. Some woman would cheat and try to rape you in court. Even when they're not worthy of it.
Author smokiejjj Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 Hows it going smokiejjj? How you doing? Hey T L, I'm doing pretty good - going out tonight - a friend from work called and wants to head out which is great. My wife called me on Friday and we just kept fighting - but I did not give in to her unreasonable demands. She wants us to move to the same place her parents live - which would be an hour commute from my work. Her family interferes all the time so moving closer is the last thing I need. We are still separated and it sucks - but I have to be strong and can't beg for her to come back as this will just create more problems. Plus I'm really, really angry and hurt that she moved out, out of the blue. I think she is having an affair. I have not filed yet - but I'm very close. My family is giving me a lot of support. Update us on you situation T L ..
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