ninjaturtles Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 :sick:.....Right now, I went on his facebook and saw that he had been tagged in an album, in the same album was some girl he had liked in the past....this girl is in the same town as him at the moment...(he is doing a post graduate programme and she is still in her undergrduate). God i thought I was getting better as this is the 5th week since he broke up with me, but I feel so drained all of a sudden. I still dont know why we split...but it makes my heart hurt that he is out clubiing wiht this girl..she is also very pretty as well:o...I keep comparing myself.. I feel so sad and alone...I have been Nc...I just want someone to take this pain away. somedays I feel very fine like i dont care anymore, but everymorning...the first thing i think about when i wake up is HIM....I start wondering if i could have done anythinh better...i just want this year to pass so he can leave that town...i know i should not be thinking this way as by then i should have moved on. Just a bit of a rant anway, it will get better...I dont cry as much as i used to and I am not depressed anymore, I just miss him and breakdwon sometimes, especially after seeing his recent pictures..and comparing myself to this girl. I dont know that there is anything going on between this young lady and him, but whilst we were together he sent a message to her, a message i happened to come across by chance....and he went on holiday for a while, came back and decided he did not want to be with me anymore.......then moved to his new town to start post grad(where this girl is coincidentally). He wil be there for a year anyway..till june 2008. Hugs to anyone out there who is sad..it will get better..somedays you will feel really bad...but graudally the pain becomes less. hugsssxxx
brothermartin Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Hey NINJATURTLE, first thing you gotta stop doing is looking for stuff related to him that you know might upset you. Thats some advice I took from a close friend of mine, and Im glad I did.
wowIlose Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I know exactly what you feel like. I just recently found out that my ex is getting close to some guy. Or hes getting close to her. I am almost certain they'll be going out in less than 2 weeks. Still.. I been moving on, and this week is slightly better than last.. only because I embedded the thought of us never getting back together right in front of any possible thoughts. Anytime I think of the past I just tell myself.. stop.. its pointless.. I also been going to the gym more than ever since the break up which has helped my self esteem since I have already gotten in better shape and plan on being in the best shape of my life soon. Your doing good, keep it up and remember, there is someone who will appreciate you more than this fool , don't waste your energy on him, hes obviously not wasting any on you.
Amy22 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I am sorry this is hurting you. I hate the pain of a broken heart and I wish there was some way we could make it better. I think you should be proud, 5 weeks is pretty good. Good Job and give yourself a pat on the back. I also know how it feels to think of him first thing when you wake up. It makes for a downer first thing in the morning. I do know from a past relationship that that will end. It shows you are making progress since you are not crying as much. I am like you and try to look for clues of what my ex is doing. But since he won't add me to his myspace or facebook I can't look there. But just incase he might add me someday I still check. It is bad, but one day we will both stop doing that to. I think when you think of the pain think of how far you have come, how good you are doing, and what a strong women you are. I don't know your story but it sounds like he lost out on a great girl. You deserve someone better. So let him do what ever the heck he wants because one day he will look back and realize what he lost. Keep your head up. I know you are strong and smart from the advice you gave me. You don't deserve anyone that would hurt you. I hope things continue to get better for you.
Author ninjaturtles Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 I feel so much better....I dont even know you guys personally but its like you are my best friends:). Thanks so much for the encouragement. This evening wasnt so bad...I just got off the phone with someone who has fancied me for a long time..we are very good friends but he likes me.....I dont think I could get into anything serious yet, I still have my ex on my mind constantly, but talking to this special friend of mine made me feel so wanted, so appealing and so good about myself...I guess he reminded me about things I failed to see in myself...goodthings, because I was blinded by all the negativiry associated with being dumped! Thanks so much once again.....with time we will look back and smile and one day these people would look back and regret...i hope WowIlose, I am not a flirt but you are sooo cute.lol. And brothermartin, you are right...I should stop looking at his facebook. I deleted him, but then went into his profile through my twin sister's account. Now she has changed her password so i cant check out his profile anymore. Amy- Thanks a lot..things are getting better...i never believed i would get better, but Trust me tonight was pretty cool....i am dreading tomorrow morning though:sick: Anyway, thanks everyone....will keep you posted. I have classes tomorrow(I am in law school) so i must go and study now...(BEEn unable to do a lot of work, but that must change now). I guess I will just jump out of bed, into the shower when I get up tomorrow morning so I dont get depressed.LOL xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mylife Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 wow 5 weeks of nc...u go girl!!!...seriousllly...awsome job...broke up with my bf exactally 2 weeks tmrw...at first talkd...we both did...then past 3 days...i tried hard...and went nc...then i called him this morning...cuz i had a bad dream about him and his parents...like it was reall bad...and it woke me up with a bad shockk...soo i had to call him...to make sure everything was ok...it was exactally a 42 sec talk...after 3 days..everything was ok though:)...and it was just a bad dream...but i dunno if i did the right by calling...but 5 weeks for u my dear...awsome..seriousllyy...and about thinking of him every morning...i know how u feeel...it happens to me every night...every night...tears...well really small ones...for sure continue the nc...and try real hard not to look at his pics...and if ur special friend likes u..i am sure u r beautiful...inside and out...never compare urself to other girls...u know ur pretty...very very pretty......be happy that she has to deal with the guy that dumped u now...not u...u hve a fresh new start...and loads of choices to go for now......some of these things i should probebly tell my self too...hehe...but i guess...telling other people self assures you as well
u6h39 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 how did u get to the stage where you want it to be better? right now iv kinda just split up wiv my bf and i never want the pain to stop without him coz i never want to be over him. I want him back i don't want to be ok in 5 weeks. How r u meant to sort something when the other is so adiment its over? when ur not even given a chance
Author ninjaturtles Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 lol..thanx... This morning wasnt that bad...I opened my eyes and my mind went to him immediately. I got up anyway, had a shower and I am at uni at the moment. 5 weeks....hasnt be very easy...luckily I dont know his number offhead as its fairly new, so I deleted his number from my phone, removed him from facebook....The last text he sent me a week ago as ignored.I siply deleted the text and number so I would not be tempted to reply or call etc. To the last person who posted, you need to want to get over him...I can understand the way you feel cos my boyfriend was good to me whilst we together...did a few things to annoy me, but he was very quiet and reserved. I never knew what he was thinking...so trust me, I dont have a long list of negative things to write about him. Nevertheless, the few weeks befor the breakkup showed me a side to him I had never ever seen....I have dumped people in the past, but God knows that the coldness and lack of concern he displayed, was horrible. Before we actually split, I was crying on the train, crying in my room, crying during meals..(as a result of the way he was ignoring me and acting like a total stranger). So when we split eventually, I guess i didnt expect anything else from him. In relation to your original thread, Please dont listen to him when he says you moan and try to control him. Yes, some girls are very very nagging and unbearable, but im sure you are not! My older brother once told me about a time he said excattly the same thing to some girl. This was about 6 months ago, I spoke with him last week and he admitted it was just an excuse...he did not want to be with her at that moment, but he wouldnt mind being with her now...she is a nice girl bla bla..of course she does not contact him anymore and my brother is too lazy to contact her...he may, but there is no big push. My point being that, sometimes you should analyse the situaion..where you unbearable and too controlling? Im guessing you were not..maybe you moaned a bit..so? No one is perfect.....Dont be too hard on yourself, yes learn from this experience, (i.e try to avoid moaning etc), but dont forget that NO ONE is perfect....I dont mean to sound cliche but loving someone is about dealing with his or her imperfections..and more importantly, working things out. So if he is not willing to work things out, maybe he just wants to be single without any obligations/attachments etc..i dont knowfor sure. For me, The 1st week was really bad. I cried and lost loads of weight....I did not eat ..i would go a day without eating(honestly)..I am petite and slim naturally, but you should have seen me then, I was smaller than a size6. I was depressed, I kept on ANALYSING..DAMN! I kept on blamimg myself, cos he was good to me in the relationship so i couldnt understand what went wrong..(NOTE- SOME ppl are naturallyy charming, nice and generous..they will treat the next girl, the way they treated you..so dont get too carried away thinking he was perfect). Anyway, with time, I spent a lot of times with my friends and twin sister, I read a lot of articles online, I started eating gradually, I did not contact him, it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard!!! But when the urges came i thought to myself...'what will you achieve by speaking to him'?I calmed down and talked myself out of talking to him. Its hard, but he needs to feel the absence . Time can do wonders trust me... give everything time, you will heal naturally..but you need to make an effort..feel your mind with positive thoughts, think of all thoes going through worse positions..think about this time next year..who knows who you may be with...No one ever dies from a heartbreak (well except they commin suicide etc)..but sometimes you need to feel the pain, live with it.....and most importantly..WANT TO get over it.......psychology is very important..if you keep filling your thoughts with stuff like...' I cant get over it, who will i find as good as my ex etc'...you will delay the healing process..but if you get very sad and fill your mind with thoughts such as..'I know i feel like **** now, but i will get better, i can do it', then trust me it will get better. This is longgg..but you need to be determined. I am a VERY VERY soft and emotional person...but if i can feel better,...trust me..you can....give it time and allow your emotions out, but plsss TRY to stay busy! It helps A LOT..maybe not this week, but the next...dont sit in you room ALL DAY ALONE...sometims yes, but not all the time. Allow yourself to feel the pain, but be determined to move on. A lot of people have been through worse, but have survived it. One more thing..my brother dumped his girlfriend...about 4 years ago. She was DEPRESSED...they were in the same uni, she loved him, he disvirgined her..it was devasting for her. He started going out with this other girl who added pepper to the injury..this new girl would call my brother's ex and threaten her etc..then she would cry to my brother and say it wasnt her. Today, my brother is single....whereas the ex he dumped is with her boyfrined who wants to marry her, her boyfriend LOVES her to death trust me, this guy treats this girl like a QUEEN. They started datin a year after she was dumped. my brother regrets his actions so much but of course she is taken and happy. My brother threw away something great for temporary pleasure( and now the girl he was with when he dumped his 1st ex is prolly somewhere screwing some other guy..excuse my french). My point being that, sometimes you think that there is nothing better there...but life is not that way. Life is full of suprises, nasty ones like gettin dumped..but bad times DONT last forever..now we are all going through bad times..but NOT FOREVER.....not forever....very soon things will get better..I am a living example.lol. That was longgggggg..need to rush off now but will hola later. pls stay strong.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Author ninjaturtles Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 I still feel pain..i still think about him immediately i wake up....i am not totally over him, but I can laugh, smile, I can enjoy myself...i actually feel happy a lot..you know..I cant compare the way i felt 5 weeks ago to now I was looking at my journal from 4 weeks ago. in it i wrote that I didnt feel like living annymore! But 2day I look back and think to myself...'I do feel like living''what was i thinking when i wrote that'? At 2 weeks, i was still very sad...so feel sad...its natural and normal... At 4 weeks i felt much better.muchh better but still sad.. now, I am still sad but feel good a lot times........ By 2months, life should be kicking:laugh: ps- In the past, all my exes came to me..(except one)..after some time apart...but i was overthem...I got back with one though. so...im not trying to raise hopes but you never know....what may happen in 5months The vital thing is..you need to move on..its hard, depressing and extremely painful...but you can do it and you will do it. What cant kill you only makes you stronger.xxxx Note, you will still get down a lot of times, but not like before......... give it time, talk to people, STAY AWAY nc.....plsss..NC........and erm just keep yourself busy and read stuff online......it gets better..xxxxxxxx
Author ninjaturtles Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 lol..i Love the way you reason.lol makes me laugh ....we will get better....i am sooo damn emotional..if i can feel happy..ANYONE CAN.lol
u6h39 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Thankyou so much, no1 has quite understood me like you have, our situations appear similar in a few aspects and its good 2 talk 2 sum1 a few stages ahead of me, i hope i'll soon be as strong as u, and i hope u continue 2 get stronger and stuff works out 4 u in the long run. as 4 myself guess i just gotta keep plodding, wot else is there to do? iv give my phone 2 my flatmate if he wants 2 speak he can cum and c me ...thanx agen xx
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