thrustrebel Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Hello people, For about 4 years, I've been best friends with a girl. Lets call her Miss X. Now Miss X is amazing and we get on incredibly. People are jealous of how well we get on! But you guessed it, she doesn't want a relationship. Why not? She needs her freedom. However, at this point I should admit we have been in love for years. It is not unrequited. She is, by her own admission, a touch on the screwed up side. See, she loves me and she gets jealous when I'm with other people. She admits she is in love with me. We have the most incredible unbelievable connection which means being friends is impossible even when we're seeing other people because we can't hold back the passion and affection we have for one another (I've never experienced anything more animalistic and love filled then our 'encounters'). Hold on, you say.. Miss X see's other people? Well yes, but no-one she hasn't cheated on or treated badly. A good part of the reason she doesn't want to go out with me is actually because she doesn't want to treat me, her 'soulmate' badly, which she was sure she would do. The reason I write this is because I finally convinced her to go out with me. We went out for 6 months, until last Wednesday when I was cashing in my one way ticket to splitsville. I was somewhat heartbroken so requested no contact. I found out Saturday she kissed a mutual friend of ours (sorry, EX mutual friend of ours). My problem is, she has been back in touch, and I can't tell if I'm being weak because I have agreed to continue trying to be friends with her. Being friends with her is the most incredible thing because we talk at least 3 times a day in lengthy phone calls and when we were going out, met up every other evening but on the other hand... the pain... the jealousy... it drives me insane. She split up with me because she just outright didn't want to be in a relationship. Can we be friends? Or am I just asking for trouble? Yes, she is STILL in love with me, and just this lunch time told me she hated herself for being so screwed up with her commitment phobia, and requirement for independence but that I was the greatest boyfriend anyone could ask for and that she couldn't live without me in her life as a friend. If this hadn't been going on for over 4 years, I'd be inclined to wait it out, but it doesn't change. I just get walked over. The sick thing is, I don't even blame her, it's not her fault and I understand she has all these aspirations and ambitions, and likes attention. She has issues though, no doubt about that. I guess if I sum it up, what I'm asking is who thinks I am being selfish by not being friends with her to protect my feelings, and who thinks that is just immature and I need to just grow up and deal with the pain each time something happens? Thank you for reading, Mr. B
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