cjhl8687 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years now, and have been through a lot and gotten very close. Lately we have been fighting a lot, and she has wanted a break- break up. Just last Thursday she said we broke up and early that day we had talked about going on break. I assumed we were on break and she assumed we broke up. Well Sunday night, she invited her friend to go out with her, and she called some guy she works with because she felt bad he had no friends around here. Ended up being that he bought her 4 drinks and she had a little to much to drink, and when she took him home he asked if she could walk him to his door, and he kissed her twice. The worst thing of it all is that I was driving down the street and saw it. I mean i believe her when she says it was him who leaned in for the kiss. I asked her why she did it and she said that she thought we broke up, and that she knows that she had to much to drink. She said sorry and that it was way to early since it had only been 3 days since we separated. I mean I love her and I don't want another guy to have her but when I look at her the only thing I can think about is her kissing another guy. i don't know what to do, because as it stands were trying to start over. Were not taking anything to fast or anything. I just don't know what to do? Should i stay with her? How do I not think about her doing that? Do I have the right to feel the way I do? I mean I guess I just need some more opinions on what to do to help myself get over this fact. I'm so torn up inside and i don't really know how to feel, because I would prefer not to lose her. i love her with all my heart. Thank you
Author cjhl8687 Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 please, i dont know what to do, because i want to advance things, if she is willing to but i dont know how to cope with that fact.
Spinderella Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 The best thing you can do at this point is nc. No contact, none, whatsoever. If she wants to break up, give her a break up. The only way she will see the reality of a break up is by doing it properly. Otherwise to her, a breakup is her doing what she wants while you wait for her to decide she loves you. I dont know what is happening with the other guy, but she had already decided she wanted to break up before this happened, so that kiss is not the cause of your problems.
Spinderella Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 NC is hard at first, but just try to fill your time up with other things. There are always alot of people on this forum doing NC who you can talk and vent with, and who will stop you from breaking nc. It gets easier with time. Its really the best thing to do.
Author cjhl8687 Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 ok, i mean i know the kiss isnt one of our problems, but its just thinking about it and looking at her makes me think about it, but i can cope with the kiss, we were on brake etc. etc. as long as she apologized for it and she did, but i shouldnt contact her? i mean i know what you mean, if she really wants to be with me and loves me then she will pursue it and if she doesnt, then well I have to get over it and move on
Author cjhl8687 Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 its sooo hard though, im so used to like calling her when i get out of work, or school, and seeing her a certain night, and watching a certain show, ive noticed that with something to do, its not on my mind which is good, but when im not busy, man does it bother me like crazy, and its hard to find something to do lol, when im not at work or school, but i can try if thats the best thing, and i can just hope that she sees or realizes
Spinderella Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 That is why nc is best, because either you will get forced into that situation anyway, so at least you will be dealing with that already..Or she will decide that she cannot live without you. Well, she cant decide that she cannot live without you, unless she KNOWS the reality of living without you. If you hang around, you will make the reality of living WITH you (an insecure wreck who cannot get the image of her kissing another guy out of his head. (Not trying to insult you, but its what most people become after being dumped)), an unattractive option. So logically it makes much more sense to do NC, hard as it may be.
Author cjhl8687 Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 ok, I understand, i hope that she will realize she wants me, without me sounding conceded, but now that you say that someone who comes across as begging and clinging on seems to desperate and unattractive, so im going to work on it, thank you
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