nwkdnblck Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted this in another thread but I think I should have put it here. I don't know how to move to a different thread so I just started a new one. Anyway, thanks for reading. I met a guy, we got engaged. I thought my world was great. Then I found out he cheated on me while we were dating- about 4 months before proposing- he drove 30 minutes over to her house to have sex. We were exclusive then. He asked to see the girl repeatedly while we dated 9 times. She sent me over 200 emails they exchanged. She would email him at work and he'd email her back. He told me not to email him at work b/c he was too busy to email me. He tells me out of the blue one day he has a stalker. Then I find out 3 months later she insn't a stalker. Do you drive 30 minutes to spend time with a stalker??? Anyway, I live at home my with my parents. I had to move home after the end of my first marriage. I have two kids. My family has had a horrible time lately. My brother was murdered two years ago with no answers. The police have no clue. My family is well known where he and I live. Now my family's home has gone up for foreclosure- he was a business partner in the family business. I know if I stay with my fiance, I can move out and have somewhat of a better life. Should I stay with him or go? How likely is he to cheat again? He said he never wants to talk to her again. I wonder if that is just his anger talking and he is mad she told on him. Once he gets over it in a year or two, he'll be back up her butt. I don't think he is over her, he just feels betrayed. I tell myself to be strong and think with my head and not emotions. Any words of encouragement would be welcome.
SarahBeth04 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Staying with him for monetary reasons is not good.
abeliever Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Welcome. This is tough I know. All of us have been thru it one way or another. Keep writing here and reading other threads. Mostly when they cheat that is not the only issue. He lied, deceived, and asked you (the fiance) not to email so she could? That really does not sit well with me. What do you think about it since you see it written? Sometimes seeing it written and you reading it is a wake up call. So, to your question. Will he cheat again? The odds are yes, but no one can tell you either way for sure. It really depends on what is the most important thing in a relationship? Me, I stayed way toooooo long. But that was my decision. Once they know you will stay and "work things out" some men think they can do anything then. (most not all men) Look, the pain is real and unbearable. I know full well. If you have kids in the mix, I say run and move on. This is no way to start a new marriage. With kids still in the home this would be a deal breaker. You have to set the example for your son(s) and daughter(s). If they are put in the middle of this mess, will it harm them? This is YOUR decision and no amount of advice from here will get you the answer. If you want someone here to tell you to ignore, forgive and try again. Let me say it first by all means do it. Can YOU live with another divorce if this one doesn't work out? Its your life and YOU have to live it. Either way, you will be ok because your children are what get you through life, not a man. They are nice to have around if its the right person for you and your children. Not sure if this helps but know you are not alone. Good luck and I will keep up with you. abeliever
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