Lyssa Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Exactly, I'm not sure what type OP is, but when a guy seems to randomly accuse his girl of cheating, or wanting to cheat. That usually tells me that he has massive control issues. That can be kind of scary really! Kind of scary?? Cobra, it IS scary! I wouldn't want to be dating a guy like that. It's mentally abusive.. all the questioning, the accusing.. the reassuring from accused.. wow... this brings back bad memories!!!!
bish Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Yeah yeah, bish. It's disrespectful. We get it. You live in your world, let me live in mine. Thats cool...I'll live in a world where I expect people to be considerate of their SO's feelings and not disrespect them by living with someone of the opposite sex.
plainoldjared Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Oh puuuhhhlease. If this was a man on here saying his gf was controlling because he had a female roommate, you'd be saying he doesn't respect his gf. Ya I know...you'd say I was wrong, but I don't believe it. I don't think there would be one woman out there that would be fine with their man living with another woman. If it were a reversed situation I would say, your gf sounds like shes got insecurity issues. I think there are women that are comfortable and confident enough in their relationships that they wouldnt freak out about who their bf shares rent with...
jcster Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I hope you are not married then...unless you plan on living in separate residences. Ha! I was married...and trust me...living together is a real romance killer.
Author niceandslow Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 Well there you go right there. You have a guy roommate. I wouldn't have a gf with a guy roommate. Really, what good can come of it? You share the shower, are in the same place...are you going to tell me the guy roommate has never been around you in your evening wear? Whether you would or wouldn't do your guy roommate isn't the issue...the issue is you have a guy roommate and any guy would not feel good about that. Why do you have a guy roommate in the first place? If you really respect your bf and love him, you'll move out. ok wow...First off, I am not from this city. I only went to college here and I recently graduated. So, I opted to stay here for my bf and continue working at my job. Well, I had to find a place in 2 weeks. I found one of my friends needed a 3rd roommate. I'm living with a guy and a girl. So there are 3 of us...You shouldn't have assumed it was just me and a guy.
oppath Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I lived with a girl, and I would live with a girl/girls again. I would not try to sleep with them! When you are young and just out of college, this is a common situation. What matters is that your bf gets to meet your roommate and friends, that he feels visible, and that those relationships feel transparent. Before jumping to a controlling conclusion, however, try to identify where your bf might have cause for alarm and if you did anything to contribute to it. Try to determine if there is some other reason this became an issue. He probably has a convolution of irrational and rational concerns that have caused this issue. Find something in his argument and feelings that you agree with before leveling the controlling charge against him. Make sure you understand why he feels as he does, and then assess his behavior. The sex thing, that's a bit odd. Do you often hang out with guys behind his back? Have you blown him off or been late because of guy friends? It's true, that if I have a gf, and she's hanging out with some guy I don't know or haven't met, and she says "we're just friends" I get uncomfortable. I might say "I trust you, but I don't know him or his intentions," and by his intentions I mean sex. I wouldn't level the sex charge outright, and I'd only bring it up at all if I didn't know who the guy friend was or if she had a pattern of sometimes being late or flaky with me because of him.
bish Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 ok wow...First off, I am not from this city. I only went to college here and I recently graduated. So, I opted to stay here for my bf and continue working at my job. Well, I had to find a place in 2 weeks. I found one of my friends needed a 3rd roommate. I'm living with a guy and a girl. So there are 3 of us...You shouldn't have assumed it was just me and a guy. I assumed because I went on the information you gave. Why didn't you mention it before? Regardless, you are still living with another guy.
lino Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I'm curious...do you have set ratios as to what is an acceptable level of male vs. female friends? I know some posters on this board don't have ANY friends of the opposite sex. Is this more normal? Truly? I find all of these rules and generalizations pretty amusing. I know it's a general human tendency to pigeonhole people, there's a tremendous urge to define everyone so that we're not surprised - but I've found that there is a broad range of human behavior that defies easy definition. If you want to break up with someone because they fit some sort of profile that you've created from one person's (your) personal experience, then that says more about you than them. I don't have set ratios but if it's very unbalanced then I won't consider such a girl as a potential gf. I've never met a girl who doesn't have ANY male friends so no, I wouldn't think a girl without ANY male friends would be more normal. My sister also grew up with just brothers and without female neighbours but she also went to school & took part in sport and other activities in which to meet & make female friends & she had no problem doing it. I don't like generalizing either but when you experience something happening enough and always for the same reason then I think it's fair to draw your own conclusion. In the past I had no problem dating a girl with heaps of guy friends & not many girlfriends but like I said, my experiences have always shown the same thing so I won't be doing it again. However I'd happily befriend such a girl or even go FWB with her, infact until 2 weeks ago I was doing exactly that Also my 'profile' of such a girl is based on not only my experiences but from what I've seen around me as well & it's always the same, so I'm 100% sure it's saying something about them & not me
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