nwkdnblck Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I met a guy, we got engaged. I thought my world was great. Then I found out he cheated on me while we were dating- about 4 months before proposing- he drove 30 minutes over to her house to have sex. We were exclusive then. He asked to see the girl repeatedly while we dated 9 times. She sent me over 200 emails they exchanged. She would email him at work and he'd email her back. He told me not to email him at work b/c he was too busy to email me. He tells me out of the blue one day he has a stalker. Then I find out 3 months later she insn't a stalker. Do you drive 30 minutes to spend time with a stalker??? Anyway, I live at home my with my parents. I had to move home after the end of my first marriage. I have two kids. My family has had a horrible time lately. My brother was murdered two years ago with no answers. The police have no clue. My family is well known where he and I live. Now my family's home has gone up for foreclosure- he was a business partner in the family business. I know if I stay with my fiance, I can move out and have somewhat of a better life. Should I stay with him or go? How likely is he to cheat again? He said he never wants to talk to her again. I wonder if that is just his anger talking and he is mad she told on him. Once he gets over it in a year or two, he'll be back up her butt. I don't think he is over her, he just feels betrayed. I tell myself to be strong and think with my head and not emotions. Any words of encouragement would be welcome.
Author nwkdnblck Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 I also think part of the reason he asked me to marry him is his ex-wife got engaged to the guy she left him for 5 years ago. He is very ego driven. It hurts but I just don't think he loves me. I wish life was easier.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I also think part of the reason he asked me to marry him is his ex-wife got engaged to the guy she left him for 5 years ago. He is very ego driven. It hurts but I just don't think he loves me. I wish life was easier. I'm sorry but I agree with that. I dont think he loves you. I dont think this marraige would be a good idea. How bad do you want to marry him? Do you think you could get a better man?
Lyssa Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I'm sorry but the whole issue with him is just wrong. I know for a fact that I wouldn't drive 30mins just to meet my stalker!! That is just plain stupid! How stupid does he think you are for him to actually use the term 'stalker' on her?? I think you can find a better man, sweetie..
ratzskinakie Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 marry him, get what you need from him, once things get better for you, dump him, divorce him, and get the divorce $$. Which he deserves for cheating on you in the first place. If I were a girl and in your shoes, thats what I would do.
Author nwkdnblck Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 Thanks for all your words of encouragement. Would you believe this creep is 41 years old!!! You know he sent her an email a week after we took a trip to Aurba for Valentines Day, asking to see her. I look back at that trip and think it was all a lie. A friend of mine pointed out that maybe he didn't think we that serious when he did these things but I just don't think that is even an issue since he was apparently playing games. When he slept with her we had dated 10 months. I think after 10 months he should have known we had some level of commitment.
Lyssa Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 So do you still want to marry this man? He is bad news....
Author nwkdnblck Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 I know. I know. Just hard you know. To find out something you thought you had was a lie. I know that if we get married, it won't last. I don't think he'd just be happy with me. The girl he cheated with is an ex of his. They dated years ago but I don't know why they didn't work out. I know that once he gets over her betrayal, he probably want her again. I think his ego is bruised and not that he is over. You don't just get over a 5 year romance like that. What an ass!
Trialbyfire Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I also wouldn't go through with this marriage. A guy who's 10 months into a relationship, where you've had the exclusivity discussion, doesn't strike me as a good gamble. On the other hand, it seems you're still with him for financial reasons. In your own way, you're using him too. Move out and get independent, for your own sense of well-being.
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