Hopefulforus Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Today is the first day that I even got on this site I never even knew it was out here... Today is probably the saddest day in my life, yesterday the love of my life looked at me and told me good bye that he couldn't be with me anymore. This is a man that I need, a man that I rely on and the hardest part is that it is ALL MY FAULT!!! There is alot of back story here but in a nut shell I have lied to him about people that I have been with in the past. I came clean the other day I have no more secrets. I never wanted to tell him all this because I did not want him to think bad about me. But I LIED!!!! This was not the first time we had a discussion like this and everytime I said I had nothing more to hide knowing the whole time that I did.... I love this man with all of my heart!!! I have got to figure out a way to make all of this better. This man believed in me when no one else did and I did him wrong!!! This man is everything to me I mean everything!!! When my heart beats its because he is in it!!! I no longer have anything else to hide from him he knows everything but of course he doesnt believe me... I have got to show this man that I love him with every ounce of my body, that I can be the honest, faithful, sweet, loving person that he fell in love with!!! I just don't know how, how can I convenience this man that I have lied to three times that I love him and will never lie to him again about anything... Please you guys I know I did wrong I don't need to be beat up I need ideas on how I can get him back. I have never loved anyone like I do him... Please help me!!!
niceguy27 Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 First off...Take a couple deep breaths....There now. Second...Dont for ONE SECOND think that makes you a bad person. My .02?? Whatever you did in the past has made you the person you are today. Simple. So anything about who youve been with in the past is irrelevant. Period. You are with him now. Not them. If his "love" for you can't see that, then too bad for him. His loss. Sorry to be so blunt. Im sure he does love you hes probably just a little shocked. A situation like this...he has to come to his senses. Best way...Since you already apologized or told him the truth or whatever, DONT TALK TO HIM for a couple days. You do that and he will start to wonder and see that "man, thats a stupid thing to get angry over." At the very least give it a couple days before you beat yourself up any more over it.
ninjaturtles Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 calm down..all hope is not lost..... I am sure you had reasons for lying to him..soon you will have a conversation with him and let him know why you lied etc..but you need to give him some time to think....as the writter above wrote..he needs to digest it all in.. If you could briefly summarise what you lied about..so we can know the gravity of things..some things are forgivable with time..others well..not so easily forgettable...bear in mind however, that these are things you did were IN THE PAST....not whilst you were with him...so....just calm down..all hope is not lost..if you can give us a summary or an idea of what you lied about...then maybe some perspective could be given.. Note..its not necessarily the end..ok? so just relax.xx
niceguy27 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I think she lied about how many people she slept with in the past...Not sure but thats what I looked at it as.
Author Hopefulforus Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 Ten months ago I met him. That was a point in my life that I was a total wreck. Things between us were just friends at first and it grew into something else however neither one of us would say it. He was living his life and I was living mine, mine was not so good. I was running wild I was newly single, i was drunk all of the time and didn't have any reversations about having meaningless sex with whoever was around. Consequently there were people that I was with that I would rather throw up than ever think about again... In april things had changed and he asked me to be with him and only him. He said "you don't need anyone else but me"!! Truth be told I was tired of bed hoping I wanted to have something with some kind of emotional relationship so I agreed. Please understand that we were not an item still.... I stayed true to that until May 12th. That was the second worse day of my life... That day I was out drinking and everything seemed like a good idea especially the beautiful blond hair blue eyed angel that stood in front of me. We brought a few of them back with us things started happening between me and that other guy that was until I stopped it. In that moment of lack of better judgement I realized that I loved this man that had spent this whole time being nothing but a true inspiration to me. Please understand that I have just lost about 70 lbs I had never been hit on by anyone like that guy, and I felt bad I stopped it.... That was until the next morning I was woken up beiing raped by the friend of the guy I stopped having sex with the night before.... The next day I told him what had happened however I omitted the part that I was with someone else even for as brief as it was. I was hurting, depressed and all I wanted and needed was someone to be stong for me I was a walking disaster... And he did he saw me through it with grace and elegance he was with me through court, my breakdowns, and the whole hellish experience. That was the point in time that we finally told eachother our feelings and I was on top of the world. I never told him about the guy from that night I figured I he knew the worst of it we could close this book and start another.... That was until the day that he caught me in the smallest of lies and that one little white lie snowballed into a nightmare... There was no turning back, I told him everything that he asked me to tell him, the bad part is I left out 3 people that I had been with and he asked me specifically about them. These three people were friends of mine and they were only one time. He had met them I just never wanted him to feel akward around them. The way I saw it was they were so far in the past it was irrevelant.... Yea not the right thought process at all... So I told him that day he knew everything and that was a lie... I swore to him total honesty and I didn't live up to that!!! Everything was going great till this past monday. He asked me again to tell him anything that I ever lied about he said he felt like there was just something that I didn't tell him... He promised total absolution, he said anything you tell me tonight I will not hold against you... So i did it I came clean this was my last chance!!! I told him about the other three people that I was with and he was just devistated. He acted like everything was ok but I could tell something was bothering him. Then yesterday he tells me that he cannot be with me anymore. Not because of who I was with but because I lied to him again.... Now he questions everything that I have ever told him and I guess rightfully so!!! But I have never been dishonest about anything but who I was with, to me it was in the past and should be left there. I didn't want him to look bad on me one of these people was someone I wish it never happened. All I know is that I hove this man and would do anything for him. I have to figure out a way to prove to him I am the person that he fell in love with. I have never had a bond with anyone like I do him and truth be told I have never felt a love like this before. Everything is out in the open now I have no more secrets at all but of course he doesn't and cant believe that!! All he ever asked from me was to be totally honest with him and until monday was the one thing I could not do... I can now I am honestly 100% skeleton free but he doesn't believe that!!! I don't know if I even deserve another chance but I know that if I don't atleast try to mend what I have broken I will forever regret it. I love this man so much I have got to make this better.... Please tell me anything that I can do to make this better....
Author Hopefulforus Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 Ten months ago I met him. That was a point in my life that I was a total wreck. Things between us were just friends at first and it grew into something else however neither one of us would say it. He was living his life and I was living mine, mine was not so good. I was running wild I was newly single, i was drunk all of the time and didn't have any reversations about having meaningless sex with whoever was around. Consequently there were people that I was with that I would rather throw up than ever think about again... In april things had changed and he asked me to be with him and only him. He said "you don't need anyone else but me"!! Truth be told I was tired of bed hoping I wanted to have something with some kind of emotional relationship so I agreed. Please understand that we were not an item still.... I stayed true to that until May 12th. That was the second worse day of my life... That day I was out drinking and everything seemed like a good idea especially the beautiful blond hair blue eyed angel that stood in front of me. We brought a few of them back with us things started happening between me and that other guy that was until I stopped it. In that moment of lack of better judgement I realized that I loved this man that had spent this whole time being nothing but a true inspiration to me. Please understand that I have just lost about 70 lbs I had never been hit on by anyone like that guy, and I felt bad I stopped it.... That was until the next morning I was woken up beiing raped by the friend of the guy I stopped having sex with the night before.... The next day I told him what had happened however I omitted the part that I was with someone else even for as brief as it was. I was hurting, depressed and all I wanted and needed was someone to be stong for me I was a walking disaster... And he did he saw me through it with grace and elegance he was with me through court, my breakdowns, and the whole hellish experience. That was the point in time that we finally told eachother our feelings and I was on top of the world. I never told him about the guy from that night I figured I he knew the worst of it we could close this book and start another.... That was until the day that he caught me in the smallest of lies and that one little white lie snowballed into a nightmare... There was no turning back, I told him everything that he asked me to tell him, the bad part is I left out 3 people that I had been with and he asked me specifically about them. These three people were friends of mine and they were only one time. He had met them I just never wanted him to feel akward around them. The way I saw it was they were so far in the past it was irrevelant.... Yea not the right thought process at all... So I told him that day he knew everything and that was a lie... I swore to him total honesty and I didn't live up to that!!! Everything was going great till this past monday. He asked me again to tell him anything that I ever lied about he said he felt like there was just something that I didn't tell him... He promised total absolution, he said anything you tell me tonight I will not hold against you... So i did it I came clean this was my last chance!!! I told him about the other three people that I was with and he was just devistated. He acted like everything was ok but I could tell something was bothering him. Then yesterday he tells me that he cannot be with me anymore. Not because of who I was with but because I lied to him again.... Now he questions everything that I have ever told him and I guess rightfully so!!! But I have never been dishonest about anything but who I was with, to me it was in the past and should be left there. I didn't want him to look bad on me one of these people was someone I wish it never happened. All I know is that I hove this man and would do anything for him. I have to figure out a way to prove to him I am the person that he fell in love with. I have never had a bond with anyone like I do him and truth be told I have never felt a love like this before. Everything is out in the open now I have no more secrets at all but of course he doesn't and cant believe that!! All he ever asked from me was to be totally honest with him and until monday was the one thing I could not do... I can now I am honestly 100% skeleton free but he doesn't believe that!!! I don't know if I even deserve another chance but I know that if I don't atleast try to mend what I have broken I will forever regret it. I love this man so much I have got to make this better.... Please tell me anything that I can do to make this better....
Author Hopefulforus Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 Ten months ago I met him. That was a point in my life that I was a total wreck. Things between us were just friends at first and it grew into something else however neither one of us would say it. He was living his life and I was living mine, mine was not so good. I was running wild I was newly single, i was drunk all of the time and didn't have any reversations about having meaningless sex with whoever was around. Consequently there were people that I was with that I would rather throw up than ever think about again... In april things had changed and he asked me to be with him and only him. He said "you don't need anyone else but me"!! Truth be told I was tired of bed hoping I wanted to have something with some kind of emotional relationship so I agreed. Please understand that we were not an item still.... I stayed true to that until May 12th. That was the second worse day of my life... That day I was out drinking and everything seemed like a good idea especially the beautiful blond hair blue eyed angel that stood in front of me. We brought a few of them back with us things started happening between me and that other guy that was until I stopped it. In that moment of lack of better judgement I realized that I loved this man that had spent this whole time being nothing but a true inspiration to me. Please understand that I have just lost about 70 lbs I had never been hit on by anyone like that guy, and I felt bad I stopped it.... That was until the next morning I was woken up beiing raped by the friend of the guy I stopped having sex with the night before.... The next day I told him what had happened however I omitted the part that I was with someone else even for as brief as it was. I was hurting, depressed and all I wanted and needed was someone to be stong for me I was a walking disaster... And he did he saw me through it with grace and elegance he was with me through court, my breakdowns, and the whole hellish experience. That was the point in time that we finally told eachother our feelings and I was on top of the world. I never told him about the guy from that night I figured I he knew the worst of it we could close this book and start another.... That was until the day that he caught me in the smallest of lies and that one little white lie snowballed into a nightmare... There was no turning back, I told him everything that he asked me to tell him, the bad part is I left out 3 people that I had been with and he asked me specifically about them. These three people were friends of mine and they were only one time. He had met them I just never wanted him to feel akward around them. The way I saw it was they were so far in the past it was irrevelant.... Yea not the right thought process at all... So I told him that day he knew everything and that was a lie... I swore to him total honesty and I didn't live up to that!!! Everything was going great till this past monday. He asked me again to tell him anything that I ever lied about he said he felt like there was just something that I didn't tell him... He promised total absolution, he said anything you tell me tonight I will not hold against you... So i did it I came clean this was my last chance!!! I told him about the other three people that I was with and he was just devistated. He acted like everything was ok but I could tell something was bothering him. Then yesterday he tells me that he cannot be with me anymore. Not because of who I was with but because I lied to him again.... Now he questions everything that I have ever told him and I guess rightfully so!!! But I have never been dishonest about anything but who I was with, to me it was in the past and should be left there. I didn't want him to look bad on me one of these people was someone I wish it never happened. All I know is that I hove this man and would do anything for him. I have to figure out a way to prove to him I am the person that he fell in love with. I have never had a bond with anyone like I do him and truth be told I have never felt a love like this before. Everything is out in the open now I have no more secrets at all but of course he doesn't and cant believe that!! All he ever asked from me was to be totally honest with him and until monday was the one thing I could not do... I can now I am honestly 100% skeleton free but he doesn't believe that!!! I don't know if I even deserve another chance but I know that if I don't atleast try to mend what I have broken I will forever regret it. I love this man so much I have got to make this better.... Please tell me anything that I can do to make this better....
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