brothermartin Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Will an ex-girlfriend do things on purpose to make her ex-boyfriend angry at her? Just to make him do something stupid so that it would be easier for her to move on after they broke up? Or to test the waters to see if she's still on his mind? EXAMPLES: 1. Nice Then B**chy 2. Loaded Qusetions 3. Angry Accusations Please Ladies, I Need Your Input On This.
niceguy27 Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Yes please. My ex did the same thing. Seems always pissed when/if I talk to her. Never any hard feelings with us and have always been real open with things. I've maintained very LC since we split. NC now the past week or so.
Crestfallen_KH Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Well, I don't think this is gender specific, but anger is often a manifestation of fear. I think it's just a normal part of the breakup process. Both the leaver and the left go through a grieving process when a relationship ends; they just often do it on different timeframes. A lot of the times, the anger isn't even about you - it's about how they feel about themselves. Maybe she feels bad about what she's said. Maybe she is having second thoughts. Maybe she is mad at herself because she told you lies. Or, maybe she is just lashing out at you because she's hurting. Hurt people hurt others. Obviously it's hard to know. Age and maturity can factor into it also. Just try not to take it personally and focus on yourself.
ninjaturtles Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I know a lot of girls who do it..however, there are 2 categories- a- The ones who do it cos they like it when their man is angry...lol..By that i mean they find it sexy..have you heard this song by Neyo called 'when you're mad'..well type it in in google and read the words of the song...its called..'when you're made' and the singer is called Neyo b- Some would do it to make you want to break up with them/ to lead to a fight which could be used as a stepping stone/excuse for breakups. I know several people who have done it.
Author brothermartin Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 Thanks for the reply NINJATURTLE. I do know that song. But what Im asking is, do women do this stuff AFTER they've left a relationship just to have an excuse to move on, or deal with the guilt of hurting the ex-boyfriend. Do they do this at the exspence of the ex's feelings, just to cope with they're own feelings?
Author brothermartin Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 I think CRESTFALLEN understands what Im asking. Thank you for your input.
birdie Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Thanks for the reply NINJATURTLE. I do know that song. But what Im asking is, do women do this stuff AFTER they've left a relationship just to have an excuse to move on, or deal with the guilt of hurting the ex-boyfriend. Do they do this at the exspence of the ex's feelings, just to cope with they're own feelings? it is about venting, trying to move on and deal with whatever caused the break up. sometimes it's about getting a response as well and some attention. depends. probably a mixture
Author brothermartin Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 That made me think of another question. Ladies, whats worse to you? A broken promise, or a promise never made?
birdie Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 same for all people I think, a broken promise of course.
sedgwick Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I can only speak for myself, and I'm usually the one who gets dumped. But the two times I ended relationships, I felt horrible. I didn't purposely do things to hurt them or make them leave; in fact, I tried as long as I could to make it work. The first, we had just started fighting all the time (it was both of our faults), and the second, it was long-distance and wasn't ever going to change, and I found out he'd been reading my email. But we'd been together for three years and I really did love him. I pretty much sucked it up and was totally honest with them. I didn't give them bogus reasons. It broke my heart both times; I felt like the worst person in the world. I am happy to say that I now have strong friendships with both of them, and there have been times I've really questioned the breakup with the 2nd ex, but he's with someone else now. And I think she's very lucky to have him! So, no, honesty is very important to me, and I didn't try to push them away at all.
Author brothermartin Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 Thanks BIRDIE. Personaly, I would rather my ex had made me a promise and not keep it, than what she actually did. Never promised me anything. It makes me wonder if she even cared enough to,... I dont know. Hey SEDGEWICK. (you funny girl!) Im not really sure that this is what my ex did, It just feels like that. The evidence says thats what she did. I want to believe that its not that, But the truth stands.She left me because I didnt keep my promise to her. She left very angry, so its not hard to not believe.
birdie Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 well, when you promise something to someone and you go back on it can come across as disrespect and not taking them seriously enough. that's why it's hurtful. they then feel like losers for believing you in the first place. I suppose when you don't promise anything it can be for different reasons but at least there is no false hope so you don't fall quite as hard. something like that
Author brothermartin Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 Thanks BIRDIE, I guess I never looked at it that way. Now I know why she was so angry.
birdie Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 sounds like a bog standard argument to me. I fell out with my last ex over something like this.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 It depends on what the promise is. Not taking out the garbage or commitment???? Get my point? If she is angry, it may not be you or it may. You need to ask her. Women are more emotional driven than men, so she will give you the answer (maybe not the one you are looking for, though). If she is angry all the time, there is a big problem in your relationship. Anger builds to resentment which will only lead to a dichotomy. Ask her now, so you both can make repairs.
Author brothermartin Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 Here's the deal BRAIN: She left me back in early September. We got into a txt. msg. argument (crazy, I know), one thing led to another, and I found my stuff at my front door. We had been argueing about the same thing for about a year and a half: Money. I wasnt very good with money, she wanted me to get better with it, I wanted to get better with it, but I just could'nt (or would'nt) commit to a financial plan to do this. She got fed up with me SAYING I wanted to change this but never DOING anything about it. As a result, I think she now resents me because she feels I lied and misled her into thinking Im someone Im not. I didnt. I never made any attempts to hide the fact that I have always had a problem with money. ALWAYS. Something I have been ashamed of, that I believe stems from emotional problems I've struggled with for a long time. But instead of couples counseling, therapy, or talking with friends (which I suggested ALL of), she just fought and argued with me until it all exploded into this. We have'nt really talked ( aside from all the insults, accusations and blame-labeling she threw at me right after) for over a month now. I had to stop all communication to end the fighting. I dont know if there is any chance of us getting back together, but I still love her and Im willing to at least settle for civilized communication, if nothing else.
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