Steffie575 Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I have this awful fear that won't leave my head....what if my ex of six years IS really over me and all that and never comes back....but I NEVER get over him?!?!? What if I always have this lingering love for him? Its only been about two months since the break up but literally, it hasnt gotten ANY better. Not even a little bit. How do i know for sure that I will get over it? A few months ago I read a postcard on PostSecret (a website where people anonymously send in postcards they make with their secrets written on them) from an old man who had been married all his life. The card said, "Even though I have been with my wife for forty years and have a wonderful life with her and my children, if "she" (referring to a lost love) ever came knocking at my door today I'd leave it all to be with her." What if that's me? What if I "move on" with someone else but in my heart still have these strong feelings for him? Im so scared that I'll be stuck like that.
Msblueyes Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I think when you're in a LTR and break up, it's just like a divorce...it takes time. Just broke up with my LTR of seven years (he moved out but had been telling my friends he couldn't wait to be free). Left while I was at work & I got the note on a napkin. Ok. It's only been 3 days for me, I'm no expert, but if they want you, they know how to find you. If you can move on, like I must do, as well, I think the best thing to do is make a list of all the good & bad...if the bad is bigger than the good, then we know the answer. Don't what if yourself to death, it will only cause heartache. I'm going to try to just accept it & deal with it. You need to, also. Get going with your girlfriends.
Author Steffie575 Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 Thank you for giving your input. I am SO sorry that happened to you; that is just awful. I know from the feelings I'm having that nothing I can say will make you feel better, so I'll just say I'm sorry that someone felt that they had to hurt you like that. In such a cowardly way! I actually made a list of all his bad qualities yesterday and stuck it in my purse and started to look at it when I got sad. I think in heartbreak some people become blind to the bad things. I know I do that. Your advice is great...if he wants me, he knows how to find me. The reason I can't stop worrying is because i HATE not knowing what's gonna happen, you know? I want to know either that eventually he'll come back to me, or that eventually I truly will not have any feelings for him. Good luck
lexi29 Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I have this awful fear that won't leave my head....what if my ex of six years IS really over me and all that and never comes back....but I NEVER get over him?!?!? What if I always have this lingering love for him? " I know how you feel. Its only been 3 weeks for me and I know I'm better off without my ex but I'm scared I'll never get over him. I would say that you need to treat your ex like he is never coming back. Just give up all hope. It makes it "easier". Because if you live your life waiting for him or thinking you'll never get over him you will miss out on a lot of good things that will come your way. Six years is a long time- not sure how old you are but that is a long relationship and you invested a lot of time and emotions with your ex. So two months of being without him IS practically nothing compared to the time you spent with him (although it probably feels like a year because the pain is so bad at times) You WILL get over him, it will probably take meeting someone else and experiencing those good feelings you had with your ex to fully get over him. don't rush it though. And the previous poster is right- if your ex wants you back he knows how to find you. Don't live your life waiting for him though.
Author Steffie575 Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 Its just so hard to understand. I dont WANT to experience the same feelings I had with him with someone else, you know? But he does obviously...he already has a new gf. Which I hope is obviously a rebound. What if i never have quite the same feelings for someone else? Im almost 23. We've been together since I was 17. So I kind of "grew up" with him. We were planning a life together.....then a month of arguing makes him change his mind? Hm. Im sorry you're going through this too...best wishes and thank you for the advice. XOXO
Msblueyes Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Thank you for giving your input. I am SO sorry that happened to you; that is just awful. I know from the feelings I'm having that nothing I can say will make you feel better, so I'll just say I'm sorry that someone felt that they had to hurt you like that. In such a cowardly way! I actually made a list of all his bad qualities yesterday and stuck it in my purse and started to look at it when I got sad. I think in heartbreak some people become blind to the bad things. I know I do that. Your advice is great...if he wants me, he knows how to find me. The reason I can't stop worrying is because i HATE not knowing what's gonna happen, you know? I want to know either that eventually he'll come back to me, or that eventually I truly will not have any feelings for him. Good luck I understand totally..again, look at that list ( I haven't made mine yet, but have it mentally and will write it down after the gym with a glass of wine)... Let's look at his present status (not going to tell you all the drug related no no's): 40, no car, been working since September. Moved out of a FINE place, mine...right downtown in our town with access to everything, to get a room in a house & took his buddy from his program with him...friend has a car & soon 2 be warrant as he screwed up & they kicked him out of the program...strangely enough, the day after mine lost $350 and I had to go pick him up at 3 a.m. drunk & lost in c-town...um hm....so...they move in together, you can only imagine the toxicology of that move... Heard about what he was up to in the past three days and, like me, probably trying to dull the pain of whatever it is he's feeling but it wasn't sounding as theraputic as a trip to the tiki bar...ok...so we all handle our pain differently, but I'll keep it legal. So, in just these few paragraphs, after re-reading them...what am I losing? Hope on a dead horse (at this time), plus, it'd be good to see what the next six months brings with mine's track record...I'm trying to shake off my blinders & see clearly. Sometimes getting mad works as good as a couple of salty dogs. I do have fresh grapefruit juice!
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