cocomae Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I know this guy (mr.A) for about four years, we started out dating about three months before he got deploy to Iraq. During those three months, I'm more like his bootie call than dating him, come over at 3AM, left in the morning, flake on me numerous time, etc...but keep feeding me all those romantic crap and have me daydreaming about someday we'll start a life together (btw sex with him is mind-blowing). During four years, I sent him care package occasionally, we keep in touch, when he come back to visit we hook up and have mind blowing sex. In the past three years, I met this one amazing guy (mr.B), who treat me like princess, never flake on me, bring me flower everytime he see me and we got engaged. But for some reason, I still can't let go of mr.A. Now Mr.A is in town for good, I agreed to meet him which was a mistake, I cheated on Mr.B who I love very much, and for some reason I think it's ok to have my cake and eat it too. Mr.A knows about me and Mr.B engagement but didn't seem to care. So, me and Mr.A make a plan to meet again, and he flake on me. No phone call, no explanation and I didn't call him or try to get an answer. I told myself, never again, enough is enough. One month goes by still no contact from him and I still can't let go? What's wrong with me?
joekurtz Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I know this guy (mr.A) for about four years, we started out dating about three months before he got deploy to Iraq. During those three months, I'm more like his bootie call than dating him, come over at 3AM, left in the morning, flake on me numerous time, etc...but keep feeding me all those romantic crap and have me daydreaming about someday we'll start a life together (btw sex with him is mind-blowing). During four years, I sent him care package occasionally, we keep in touch, when he come back to visit we hook up and have mind blowing sex. In the past three years, I met this one amazing guy (mr.B), who treat me like princess, never flake on me, bring me flower everytime he see me and we got engaged. But for some reason, I still can't let go of mr.A. Now Mr.A is in town for good, I agreed to meet him which was a mistake, I cheated on Mr.B who I love very much, and for some reason I think it's ok to have my cake and eat it too. Mr.A knows about me and Mr.B engagement but didn't seem to care. So, me and Mr.A make a plan to meet again, and he flake on me. No phone call, no explanation and I didn't call him or try to get an answer. I told myself, never again, enough is enough. One month goes by still no contact from him and I still can't let go? What's wrong with me? You're obviously addicted to the mind-blowing sex with "Mr. A". Which doesn't make you a terrible person, but you really have to decide which one you want more. An occasional night of really great physical encounters with "A" every couple-few months, with nothing else to it. Or a longterm, loving relationship with "Mr. B". You didn't tell us what your sex life is like with "Mr. B", which, by the absense of your commentary on it, probably say's enough. I'd venture to guess it's OK, but a far cry from your mind-blowing encounters with "Mr. A". Which, makes me wonder if you're really in love with "Mr. B" or not. Now, I know that you said that you love "Mr. B" "very much", which I'm sure you do. But, are you IN LOVE with him enough to really be engaged to him? It's something to think about because, I would think that if you were really in love with with "B", it might not have been quite so easy to fall back hooking up with "Mr. A". Know what I mean? Just some things to ponder. But, if you are, in fact, in love with "B" enough to be engaged, then forget about about "A". He's already done a big part of the hard part ( NO PUN INTENDED YOUNG LADY! ), by not contacting you for a month. Try to make sure things stay that way if you're sure you want things with "Mr. B" to work out. OK? Take care.
niceguy27 Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 sorry...reminds of something I call SELFISH. Make a choice. Its easy. If you really loved this guy you wouldnt cheat on him. Plain and simple. Done deal. Women like this are what give them a bad name. You have so many people willing to do just about anything to make things right and then you hear something like this. Move to Idaho and marry the both of em. Then you have the best of both worlds
Author cocomae Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 Thanks for both reply. To answer joekurtz, I don't think I'm "in love" with MR.B but I feel safe and secure with him, no pondering when will he call or show up. Our sex life has gone from good to -do it just to get it over with-, and the passion is not there anymore. But being at my age, 32, I don't want to risk losing MR.B and try to find another Mr.A with mind blowing sex. Mr.B is probably the best man me. After what happened, with Mr.A, I really wish that if I can take an eraser, and erase the memories that I've with Mr.A, it will make things much easier for me. I somehow still believe that someday Mr.A will realize what he lost and come back for me, am I being stupid?
Msblueyes Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Thanks for both reply. To answer joekurtz, I don't think I'm "in love" with MR.B but I feel safe and secure with him, no pondering when will he call or show up. Our sex life has gone from good to -do it just to get it over with-, and the passion is not there anymore. But being at my age, 32, I don't want to risk losing MR.B and try to find another Mr.A with mind blowing sex. Mr.B is probably the best man me. After what happened, with Mr.A, I really wish that if I can take an eraser, and erase the memories that I've with Mr.A, it will make things much easier for me. I somehow still believe that someday Mr.A will realize what he lost and come back for me, am I being stupid? #1, you are too young to settle for Mr. B, if sex is "just do it..." oh god, no. #2, Mr. A is a player, and from the sound of it...he's got someone else & you're booty. #3...At least you're getting sex...my posts will have you coming back at me for being stuck stupid... However, you need to find a man who gives you mind blowing sex who will be there for you. End of thought! God Bless!
Precious K Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I know this guy (mr.A) for about four years, we started out dating about three months before he got deploy to Iraq. During those three months, I'm more like his bootie call than dating him, come over at 3AM, left in the morning, flake on me numerous time, etc...but keep feeding me all those romantic crap and have me daydreaming about someday we'll start a life together (btw sex with him is mind-blowing). During four years, I sent him care package occasionally, we keep in touch, when he come back to visit we hook up and have mind blowing sex. In the past three years, I met this one amazing guy (mr.B), who treat me like princess, never flake on me, bring me flower everytime he see me and we got engaged. But for some reason, I still can't let go of mr.A. Now Mr.A is in town for good, I agreed to meet him which was a mistake, I cheated on Mr.B who I love very much, and for some reason I think it's ok to have my cake and eat it too. Mr.A knows about me and Mr.B engagement but didn't seem to care. So, me and Mr.A make a plan to meet again, and he flake on me. No phone call, no explanation and I didn't call him or try to get an answer. I told myself, never again, enough is enough. One month goes by still no contact from him and I still can't let go? What's wrong with me? Hey cocomae Whats wrong with you?- Nothing, it just seems you arent making right choices. I understand what you mean when you cant let go of Mr.A. It maybe youre addicted to the crap he gives you or that maybe you fell for someone that was never right for you. Men have different ways of viewing women. When they want a botty call the girl never ends up being in a relationship with the guy. He got what he wanted from you and he moved on, you just didnt make the right choice. For Mr. B he has the right to know what you've done.
joekurtz Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Thanks for both reply. To answer joekurtz, I don't think I'm "in love" with MR.B but I feel safe and secure with him, no pondering when will he call or show up. Our sex life has gone from good to -do it just to get it over with-, and the passion is not there anymore. But being at my age, 32, I don't want to risk losing MR.B and try to find another Mr.A with mind blowing sex. Mr.B is probably the best man me. After what happened, with Mr.A, I really wish that if I can take an eraser, and erase the memories that I've with Mr.A, it will make things much easier for me. I somehow still believe that someday Mr.A will realize what he lost and come back for me, am I being stupid? Wow Coco, I wasn't aware that being 32 was such a horribly advanced age these days that you just HAD to settle for whatever you could get & get hitched ASAP while you still had an offer. God forbid you turn 33 without a ring on your finger! Sorry, couldn't help myself. Seriously, 32 is young, young lady. What's your hurry? Feeling safe & secure is a wonderful part of being in a commited relationship, but it's NOT something that you can build a marriage & the rest of your life on. While "Mr. B" sounds like a helluva nice guy & a good catch for someone, don't you want something MORE in a husband than just "safe & secure" & reliable? Why marry for that & then regret it within a year or two when you find yourself bored & unfulfilled? Honestly, can you REALLY see yourself committing to a lifetime of "just get it over with" sex? Don't you think that you might begin to resent this "Mr.B" after a while? Would "settling for him" be fair to either him or yourself, just for a sense of security? As for "Mr. A", sorry hon, but guys like him NEVER realize what they lost & "come to their senses". It's just not in their natures. He may come calling again, but it'll just be for another night of fun, not a relationship. Peace.
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