Tormented Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 A friend sent me this via email and I decided to share it here. They are rules every woman should hold in esteem to keep her heart, dignity, and general well-being intact. So, here goes... *If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. *Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. *If you have ANY doubts about a man's behavior, leave him alone. *Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. *Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. *Don't force attraction. *Slower is better. *Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. *If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then HELL NO you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. *Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order. *Don't settle. *If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. *If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship - take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that? *Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. *Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess. *The only person you can control in a relationship is you. *There is only one "reason" a man dumps you; he doesn't want you. *Avoid men who have a lot of children by a lot of women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you differently? *You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding a prince. *Always put yourself and your happiness first. *Maintain boundaries in how a man treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. *If he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested. *Be honest and upfront. *Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along. *Don't fall for the "I'm confused role." Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out - but don't wait for him...move on. *If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the women in his family. *There's more than physical abuse - there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee! *You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. *Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself...double-standard. *Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. *Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man - nothing more, nothing less. *Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you! *Don't compete with other women, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see. *If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him immediately and if you think he is lying, let him go. *Remember - actions speak louder than words. *Never let a man define who you are. *Never rely on a man for compliments...look to yourself for that. *If he cheated WITH you, he'll cheat ON you. *Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you, nor does it mean that you are meant to be with him. *To use painful, hard-won wisdom - 'get it right' the next time. *Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life. *Love is a verb... *Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable - available, someone ungiving - giving, and someone unloving - loving. *A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. *All men are NOT dogs. *You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. *If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else. *You cannot mend someone else's broken heart. *You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. *You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complementary - NOT supplementary. *Dating is fun - even if he doesn't turn out to be 'Mr. Right.' *NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it. *Never become your man's 'therapist.' *When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions. *A healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work. *Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you. *Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him, he takes it for granted. *Give him his space...let him go out with his boys. Don't pressure him to spend time with you. You can't force a man to hang out with you. *If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him - you shouldn't either. *Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. *Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone. *Never co-sign for a man. *Never believe that you have the "perfect" man - NO man is completely perfect or innocent! *Never spoil your man; let him spoil you. *Never let a man ruin your credit. *When it's time to let go; let go! *Good men should be treated like...good men. *Don't play games. *Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. *Keep him in your radar but get to know others. *Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status ARE important. And finally... *Never date a guy who wears colored contacts! Sound advice to follow by, but not always easy...is it girls?? ~T~
Msblueyes Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Just what I needed this morning; words to empower!
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