Pyro Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I don't know if this is true for other women but almost as a rule, I never respond well to being hit on in general unless it's very subtle and done in an extremely tasteful manner. It's much better to actually get to know a girl a little first and then show interest. That said, I know this isn't possible if it's just a one time meeting. Perhaps other girls don't have this attitude. I noticed that too from my personal experiences and from watching others. When you try too hard and are too forward, its more than likely to be a disaster.
tanbark813 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 It's like being a dancer. You have to pretend you are interested because that's how you make more money. Yeah, they make a ton of money by f**king the customers for free.
underpants Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 It wasn't a hotel bar. It was a Chili's that happened to be in the same parking lot as the hotel I was staying in. I like their food so I ate there every night out of convenience. The hot bartender was just a bonus. Well, you sound like a smart playar. You honed your mad skillz on one server. I recall 6 (off the top of my head) servers that engaged in some 'fun times' in just one hotel (adjacent to a chili's). I would ponder that the hotel staff and the chili's staff met up for crappy hour someplace and discussed you, or other ....conquests. I'm not innocent, btw. I just probably preferred some fellow employee roaming the halls or (waiting for me in the elevator) someplace. Or I was looking to engage in a silly yet delightful hobby I used to enjoy. good times.
tanbark813 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Well, you sound like a smart playar. You honed your mad skillz on one server. I recall 6 (off the top of my head) servers that engaged in some 'fun times' in just one hotel (adjacent to a chili's). I would ponder that the hotel staff and the chili's staff met up for crappy hour someplace and discussed you, or other ....conquests. I'm not innocent, btw. I just probably preferred some fellow employee roaming the halls or (waiting for me in the elevator) someplace. Or I was looking to engage in a silly yet delightful hobby I used to enjoy. good times. So if I had the upper hand it's because of a sarcastic reference to "skillz" and if she had the upper hand it makes me a conquest? That's not hypocritical at all.
Pyro Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Yeah, they make a ton of money by f**king the customers for free. Sad but true, but most of it is from flirting. Guys can be such knuckleheads sometimes.
tanbark813 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Sad but true, but most of it is from flirting. Guys can be such knuckleheads sometimes. It's cool if you have no game, man. I'm not judging.
underpants Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 So if I had the upper hand it's because of a sarcastic reference to "skillz" and if she had the upper hand it makes me a conquest? That's not hypocritical at all. All is fair in restaurant wars. Now tip me biatch.
Pyro Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 It's cool if you have no game, man. I'm not judging. I don't need game. Being myself has worked well enough for me. I gave up the "game" many moons ago, back when strip clubs and bar waitresses were a factor in my life.
underpants Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Hey Tanny, I was not trying to attack you. I was just trying to tell it like it is. No hard feelings. K? I apologize if I misspoke.
yippkiyay Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 When I wasa a bartender I was a slut, just keeping it real
Pyro Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 When I wasa a bartender I was a slut, just keeping it real At least you are honest on here.
tanbark813 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Hey Tanny, I was not trying to attack you. I was just trying to tell it like it is. No hard feelings. K? I apologize if I misspoke. Not at all, it's cool. (I just went to bed a little early last night.)
nicki Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I'm always leery of guys who ask me out in public, the first time they meet me -- whether or not I'm working. I never say yes, but only because I don't have enough info about them to make the decision of whether or not to go out. For all I know, they could go up to every woman and ask her out. It's better if they get to know me a bit. Impossible in a first meeting, I understand. But chat me up for a few minutes, then mention that you are going to get a cup of coffee next door and would love to talk to me longer if I want to join you. Non-threatening. But, if approached while working, I will turn any guy down. I always say I have a boyfriend, whether it's currently true or not. There are too many crazy stalker types out there. It's better for the guy to go back to the restaurant a few times and let me recognize his face and have some impression of him and his behavior before he asks me out. This is just my opinion here, but, please guys, don't outright ask a waitress out. Mention something you are already doing, like going mountain biking or going to a football game. If she responds with an "I love mountain biking!" or "How fun!" then you can ask her to join you. Look for her signals of interest. If she responds with a "Have a nice day. Thank you for coming in." then she is not interested, and you have saved face. She could have responded to joining you or not responded by pretending you meant nothing by it. Her choice, and you get to save face because you were already going anyway. Develop a rapport first and see what happens. Don't be pushy. Be subtle. We women know when guys are interested.
tanbark813 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 It's better for the guy to go back to the restaurant a few times and let me recognize his face and have some impression of him and his behavior before he asks me out. Develop a rapport first and see what happens. Yes, these are a must.
oppath Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I've asked girls out in this situation by handing them my card or even outright asking when no-one was watching. I've never had a yes. A couple of times, I truly felt the girl considered it, but resorted to their rule "I don't give out my number to guys at work." Naive of me to think that? Maybe. When a group of friends point out "she is checking you out and flirting specifically with you because you met her at the random place a year ago and she recognized you" it probably does mean she was checking me out and flirting with me, not just going for the tips. that doesn't mean she would give me her number, it just means she thought "this guy is cute and he seems fun to talk to and I know him from some random place." And once at a bar/restaurant, a girl who just started working there was flirting with me and my friend big time, even going so far as to giving us 4 free drinks and 25% off everything over lunch. that blew my mind. I really wanted to give her my card but didn't have one. I recognize bar-waittress flirting for tips. She went BEYOND that in many ways. My friend and I both agreed afterwards that we were in such shock over it that we didn't even think to get her number or invite her out. We were floored and didn't know what to do it caught us so off guard. I tried going back the next couple weeks but didn't catch her shifts.
Pyro Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I'm always leery of guys who ask me out in public, the first time they meet me -- whether or not I'm working. I never say yes, but only because I don't have enough info about them to make the decision of whether or not to go out. For all I know, they could go up to every woman and ask her out. It's better if they get to know me a bit. Impossible in a first meeting, I understand. But chat me up for a few minutes, then mention that you are going to get a cup of coffee next door and would love to talk to me longer if I want to join you. Non-threatening. But, if approached while working, I will turn any guy down. I always say I have a boyfriend, whether it's currently true or not. There are too many crazy stalker types out there. It's better for the guy to go back to the restaurant a few times and let me recognize his face and have some impression of him and his behavior before he asks me out. This is just my opinion here, but, please guys, don't outright ask a waitress out. Mention something you are already doing, like going mountain biking or going to a football game. If she responds with an "I love mountain biking!" or "How fun!" then you can ask her to join you. Look for her signals of interest. If she responds with a "Have a nice day. Thank you for coming in." then she is not interested, and you have saved face. She could have responded to joining you or not responded by pretending you meant nothing by it. Her choice, and you get to save face because you were already going anyway. Develop a rapport first and see what happens. Don't be pushy. Be subtle. We women know when guys are interested. Yes. Excellent post.
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