Krytie TV Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Or is it just me? I always have had this rule that no matter what, I wouldn't ask out a server. I don't like to approach people when they're working because it seems like an invasion of their time. Anyone have thoughts on that?
Lunar Sonata Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Absolutely. It's bad enough that they serve you your food. Do you really have to put them on the spot by asking them out? They're gonna be conflicted because part of their job is to keep customers. It's not fair and it's inconsiderate to the server/bartender. Now if the server or bartender were gutsy enough to ask the customer out then that's not as bad imo.
Trialbyfire Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 If you're interested in a server or bartender, why not just slip them your business card and suggest they call you sometime? This way, they're not cornered.
Author Krytie TV Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 If you're interested in a server or bartender, why not just slip them your business card and suggest they call you sometime? This way, they're not cornered. I work in non-profit... we don't get business cards for what we do I see your point though.
Trialbyfire Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I work in non-profit... we don't get business cards for what we do I see your point though. Pencil on napkin?
Author Krytie TV Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 Yeah, but then there's always the "what a weenie for being so passive". No more so than in any other situation though I suppose.
shadowplay Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Good luck....Most attractive female bartenders/waitresses get hit on constantly, so your chances of success are slim. Can't hurt, though, if you don't mind rejection.
Author Krytie TV Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 And that's another reason I don't do it. A lot of them probably get tired of it.
Pyro Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 And that's another reason I don't do it. A lot of them probably get tired of it. Back in the day I tried asking out a few waitresses and they all turned me down, so I made it a habit not to do that again. Shadowplay hit the nail on the head unfortunately.
Timberlane Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I even met a waitress at a bar once with my friends at one table and her friends at the other. She mentioned where she worked and to come by sometime. So I did. Ha. I was recognized, fortunately, but if I had thought that was some invitation to chat her up or what have you, I was sadly mistaken. So my friend and I ordered beers, ate our dinner, and GTF out of there.
Pyro Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I even met a waitress at a bar once with my friends at one table and her friends at the other. She mentioned where she worked and to come by sometime. So I did. Ha. I was recognized, fortunately, but if I had thought that was some invitation to chat her up or what have you, I was sadly mistaken. So my friend and I ordered beers, ate our dinner, and GTF out of there. I met a waitress at a pool hall and I asked her out to a rave with me. (I was 19 at the time, so yes I said alot of stupid things). She gave me what I thought was her number but it was a number to some business.
Timberlane Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I met a waitress at a pool hall and I asked her out to a rave with me. (I was 19 at the time, so yes I said alot of stupid things). She gave me what I thought was her number but it was a number to some business. If you know your party's extention, press one. I haven't gotten the fake phone number yet. So looking forward to that day.
Pyro Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 If you know your party's extention, press one. I haven't gotten the fake phone number yet. So looking forward to that day. Looking back, it was pretty funny. A few years back, afriend and I were at this bar and we started talking to these two girls. We thought that they were interested........that is until they pulled the old "we have to go to the bathroom" excuse. Time passes and we see them out on the dance floor. I am already done with them but my friend being the brave one went out there and tried getting freaky with the girls on the dance floor. Rejection at its finest.
tanbark813 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 If you're interested in a server or bartender, why not just slip them your business card and suggest they call you sometime? This way, they're not cornered. I agree with this. If you're going to try to pick up a waitress or bartender your advances have to be very short and sweet so as to not waste their time. Actually, since hot bartenders and waitresses get asked out allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll *breath* lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the f**kin' time, it's a great sign if they actually agree to go out with you.
underpants Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 As a former waitress and bartender I can help you out. No, never ask out a server while they are working. Don't overtly flirt with them either. What can work is to genuinely befriend the server. If you see her out then recognize her and say hello. If that server asks you to come to their place of employment then ....nah, don't do that. Instead tell the server where you will be. If you see her in the bar/restaurant more then a handful of times then invite her to another place. Later you can show up and talk about how you were dissapointed you did not see them at ....where ever. I made it a rule to never date customers. So, there is that. However, I do still have many friends (male and female, customers and co-workers) from those days. Some are married and some hooked up across the lines. You have a box of chocolates when it comes to restaurant work. Some are students and have no time. Alot have boyfriends or girlfriends and it is just a job. Others are single but see some real crap go down and are leery of early on high affection. Heck, some are felons. Your best bet is to be genuine and don't look too far into beer colored goggles.
tanbark813 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 ANo, never ask out a server while they are working. Don't overtly flirt with them either. I wouldn't say never. During a week-long business trip where I ate at the same restaurant every night--it was in the same parking lot as my hotel--I had the bartender in my hotel room by the end of the week. It turned out she had a bf too. Waitresses and bartenders are definitely more difficult, but they're not impossible.
Pyro Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I agree with this. If you're going to try to pick up a waitress or bartender your advances have to be very short and sweet so as to not waste their time. Actually, since hot bartenders and waitresses get asked out allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll *breath* lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the f**kin' time, it's a great sign if they actually agree to go out with you. Its not a great sign until they actually show up. Just because they agree doesn't mean that it will happen.
tanbark813 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Its not a great sign until they actually show up. Just because they agree doesn't mean that it will happen. Definitely. I wasn't clear enough in that post.
underpants Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I wouldn't say never. During a week-long business trip where I ate at the same restaurant every night--it was in the same parking lot as my hotel--I had the bartender in my hotel room by the end of the week. It turned out she had a bf too. Waitresses and bartenders are definitely more difficult, but they're not impossible. Well, yes I did work with a few horn dogs. I do agree with TBF about not wasting their time on the job. A card or napkin with a number and short expressed acknowledgement of interest is respected if anything. Tan, you worked her over for a whole week. How suave of you. Hotel bars have another whole layer of drama and intrigue about them. Actually I would say my best bar stories are from the hotel lounges. One other thing I have seen are guys who do come in ...everyday to see you. That can be off putting. You will do your job but think...(maybe he has problems).
amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I was a cocktail waitress at Tropicana a while ago. If guys flirted with me I flirted back. Not always cause I wanted to but because it was my job. And I was there to make money.
Pyro Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I was a cocktail waitress at Tropicana a while ago. If guys flirted with me I flirted back. Not always cause I wanted to but because it was my job. And I was there to make money. That is pretty much what the intentions of waiters and waitresses are when they flirt, but of course there are always the few who are different. Wish I would have realized this before I made an as$ of myself to these waitresses, but life lessons will hurt sometimes.
tanbark813 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Tan, you worked her over for a whole week. How suave of you. Hotel bars have another whole layer of drama and intrigue about them. Actually I would say my best bar stories are from the hotel lounges. It wasn't a hotel bar. It was a Chili's that happened to be in the same parking lot as the hotel I was staying in. I like their food so I ate there every night out of convenience. The hot bartender was just a bonus.
shadowplay Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I don't know if this is true for other women but almost as a rule, I never respond well to being hit on in general unless it's very subtle and done in an extremely tasteful manner. It's much better to actually get to know a girl a little first and then show interest. That said, I know this isn't possible if it's just a one time meeting. Perhaps other girls don't have this attitude.
amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 It's like being a dancer. You have to pretend you are interested because that's how you make more money. But it doesn't mean you want them lurking. That's just creepy.
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