Oregon Blackberry Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 If I were on a date I was having major sparks with, I totally would not answer the phone. I might make a quick call to a girlfriend or sister in the bathroom saying "This guy is great" or something but I would be in the restaurant (or movie, or coffeehouse) restroom. If I was very not into the guy, I would take a call in front of him on the first or second date.
carrotgirl Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I was thinking it could have been a brother, a father or even work related. She excused herself and acted appropriately considering that she'd already ignored other calls while with you. I would have said exactly the same thing she did. Carrot
StaringContest Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I think that you did the right think not asking who it was. That could come off to her as very territorial behavior. Yeah, if you ask "Who were you talking to?" Asking something like, "Is everything okay?" isn't territorial, and it lets the person know you're willing to listen to what's going on if they want to tell you. Of course, if they don't, you just let it drop and file it away as a potential red flag. No I didn't, obviously I wish I had, or I wouldn't be asking now haha. The thing that is strange is that she chose to only pick up for this one guy, and none of the other callers. And it wasn't even anything important b/c she said she'd just call him back. They could have all (or most) been from the same caller. You don't know. How do I find out if she has any ex drama? I'm pretty bad at asking about personal stuff Whenever it seems like an appropriate time, you have a conversation about how you both feel about dating, relationships, etc. During the course of the convo, you can ask when her last relationship was, if she still talks to exes, etc. It's part of 'getting to know you' chat.
Krytie TV Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I do have one data point that I will act on though. Smokers. If I'm out with a smoker, and the bill comes, and she sees it as a good time to go have a smoke, leaving me alone while I wait for the bill to be transacted...NEXT. Why do I get the nasty feeling there's an anecdote there... as well as a lesson learned?
oppath Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Why do I get the nasty feeling there's an anecdote there... as well as a lesson learned? Well, the lesson learned is quite simply: my time is valuable, spend it with me. I prefer not to date smokers but I will, but if smoking is more important than getting to know me, I see that as a compatibility issue for me. No offense to smokers. I know some great ones. But if I'm making the time to date you, and I'm paying, leaving me for 5 minutes to go smoke is a deal breaker. It's happened to me a couple times. With phone calls, it is the same thing, but I understand that family/friends/work may have issues. It definitely raises my eyebrows if it happens before we've become more of a couple, but the pattern needs to exist.
Lyssa Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 My point was that it could have been any guy. Making assumptions based on people's theories on an internet forum is not going to help you any. Did you ask her what the call was about? There are ways to ask that aren't rude or prying. It's a little too late to ask now, but don't just assume she was going out with you to make an ex jealous or anything like that. Talk to her and find out what's going on in her life. If you find out she's got ex drama, you can let her go. But don't make such a big deal out of a single phone call. I agree. Making too much assumptions is not good. You have only been out what.. once? Like Oppath said, it's not the end of the world!
Ponzoli Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 This one might not be that big of a catch dude. Regardless of whether or not it was an ex on the other line (the most likely scenario IMO) it was still rude to take the call.
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