MystifiedByMen Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 This past Thursday night, I went out for drink with my friend. We’ll call my friend Gypsy. I met this guy named “Rupert” and we hit if off really well. There was attraction, chemistry, joking, keeps telling me how beautiful I am, etc.. Then at the end of the night, he completely ignores me. Acts like we never met. So, I go up to Gypsy whom also hit it off with Rupert’s friend and asked what was going on. Rupert’s friend said that Rupert has a girlfriend and she just showed up. Why didn’t he mention this to me?? The following day, Rupert and his friends show up at the bar to visit Gypsy who is bartending thinking I’d be there too. Rupert asks Gypsy where I was. He explained to her how much he liked me and was breaking up with his girlfriend that night and would love to hang out with me soon. He told Gypsy that he and his girlfriend have been on the rocks for some time and it just wasn’t working out. He asked for my phone number to call me right then and there and Gypsy said no deal. She said I don’t give my girl’s number out without asking. But, she let him call me through her phone. I didn’t answer. So, hear I stand. I don’t know if he really broke it off with this girl, and should I even consider going on a date with him when he failed to mention his girlfriend? Should we just hang out as friends if he’s single and see where it leads? What shall a girl to do? My judgments are cloudy because he’s so hot!!
norajane Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 You are right - you really don't know ANYTHING about this guy, much less whether he broke up with his girlfriend or not. What you do know is he is the kind of guy who flirts with other girls in bars when his girlfriend isn't around. And fails to mention to those girls that he has a girlfriend. So if you were to become his girlfriend in the future, you can expect he'll do that to you, too.
jophil28 Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 You are right - you really don't know ANYTHING about this guy, much less whether he broke up with his girlfriend or not. What you do know is he is the kind of guy who flirts with other girls in bars when his girlfriend isn't around. And fails to mention to those girls that he has a girlfriend. So if you were to become his girlfriend in the future, you can expect he'll do that to you, too. Yeah, write this on your fridge - " IF they will do it with you, they will do it TO you."
Author MystifiedByMen Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 It's just strange. He put so much effort into getting it out there about how much he likes me by going to the bar my friend works at to tell her this. They never met before that night. Is it possible that's he's genuine about his feelings for me? What is a reasonable amount of time to make public information such has having a significant other when you're out chatting with others of the opposite sex? Would anyone give this guy a break? Or, am I too nice? humm....
Lunar Sonata Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Give him a break. Guys are cool like that. He's just trying to impress you
norajane Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Is it possible that's he's genuine about his feelings for me? Genuine? He met you in a bar - while he was drinking - and liked how you looked. I don't think he's developed a grand passion and everlasting love for you.
Bulbberbutt Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Genuine? He met you in a bar - while he was drinking - and liked how you looked. I don't think he's developed a grand passion and everlasting love for you. Don't hate the player hate the game! Give the dude a break. When a chick is hot guys can't help but act like little puppy dogs. It's not like he was or is married. And even so if he is not happy there is nothing wrong with flirting!
sunshinegirl Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Maybe this will help: If it weren't you but a close girlfriend of yours in this situation, what would you advise her to do? If you had a daughter of dating age, what would you advise her to do?
Bulbberbutt Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Maybe this will help: If it weren't you but a close girlfriend of yours in this situation, what would you advise her to do? If you had a daughter of dating age, what would you advise her to do? Find out how rich he is and if he is loaded get knocked up.
roxy_1980 Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 The issue shouldn't be that he lied or not, it's what he'd do later on that would really matter: Seems as though this guy is never satisfied with what he's got. He finds a newer, prettier model and dumps the old one. However, he doesn't seem to be letting the old one go until he secures the new one. People can go around doing that forever. You can always find someone who seems a little bit better.
ItIs Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 My judgments are cloudy because he’s so hot!! Danger! Unless you're OK with having a bit of temporary fun, it is best to move slowly and find out just what the truth is before getting too far along with this chap.
Timberlane Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Give him a break. Guys are cool like that. He's just trying to impress you Ha ha ha Oh, man. I vote either calling the guy out about the girlfriend and telling him you can talk sometime later when they have broken up or just move on. Being the "other woman" is Nowheresville. And yes, he'll hit on women in bars while he dates you no doubt.
shadowofman Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Misleading Title. Totally thought you were going to say that your SO withheld information about a sexual encounter from you. That would be as bad as lying because he would be betraying your monogamous social contract. This guy didn't betray you at all, unless he told you that he did not have a girlfriend. And even then I wouldn't call it a betrayal. Just a lie. And I doubt it hurt you. Sounds like he doing a good job of making you feel good. I you want to empathize with his GF, and take the lie personally, then call him out. There is nothing stopping you. If you still are interested in this dude. Warning: Sounds like a promiscuous man. Likelihood high. This means he will likely not tell other girls that he is dating you. Go for it if you don't mind.
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