WonderingWTD Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 I really love my boyfriend a lot, and lately every time we drink together we end up talking about our future and getting married. Recently i brought it up while we were sober and he says marrying me soon is a very frequent thought in his mind.. im almost 18 and hes 20. I no thats young but my parents were married at 18 and they have been together for 40 years. So is there an age limit, or should you just let love take its course?
Saxis Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 That really depends on a lot of things. How long have you been dating? Have you gotten over the "honeymoon phase"? I married during my first serious relationship; she was 20, I was 22. We rushed it. Still not out of the honeymoon phase, and we became pregnant. It could get very rough if you both plan on going to college still, and haven't quite figured out your own life goals. I think this kind of ground work needs to be done first, but that doesn't mean it can't work. It's just easier with some of these issues worked out ahead of time.
BlueEyedSarah Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 I agree with the above post. It depends on how long you have both been together. You really don't want to rush getting married especially if you have plans on going to school. You don't want to rush into the big commitment and find out it doesnt work together.
Blurple Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Date for 6 years like me and my GF and then wait until after college so that would be about 8 years dating and we will be about 23 or so
Author WonderingWTD Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 yeah i mean we are going to wait a while, at least a year before i would accept an engagement, but theres always long engagements too right?
Blurple Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 yeah i mean we are going to wait a while, at least a year before i would accept an engagement, but theres always long engagements too right? Just wait until you are established IE have a house and all the rest that goes with being established
Author WonderingWTD Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 so making a commitment like buying a house before marriage is a good idea?
ItIs Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Is this the guy who expects you to change your religion and raise children in his religion? In any case, it's extremely foolish to even consider marrying until the initial flame of infatuation dies down. Unless one has some serious illness and is likely to die very soon, one should not marry while "smitten." This is the cause of the most common and ugliest divorces. Throw potential religious issues into the mix, and the potential for ugliness increases greatly. Take your time. At your age, barring some catastrophic occurrence, you should have lots and lots of it.
Author WonderingWTD Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 Yes it is the same guy, i dont have 2 serious boyfriends lol, ii can barely handle one lol jk. But your right about thatengagement or marriage is way to early, but i feel like i want to take it a step further, would a house be an idea to consider?
blind_otter Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Are you in a financial position to purchase a home? IF you are, I'm impressed. When I was 18 I was just running around spending money going into debt and taking out loans for college.
Author WonderingWTD Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 lol i work A LOT and spend very little. And he comes from a very rich family. I always thought that was something u did after marriage though. Is it a better idea to purchase a home before?
IrishCarBomb Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Why rush into marriage? Why not be a couple for like 5-10 more years and then get married after you both grow up a bit. I know you feel grown up at 18-20, but trust me... there's a long ways to go.
Starry-eyed Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 You are awfully young, friend. And so is your bf. I know how in love you can feel and how you just want to be with him and share life with him. But it is rare for a person to be mature enough at 18 to make lifetime decisions, even though you've been together for a year. And you have some particular issues to consider, like the fact that he is Muslim. You have to be really smart and have open eyes! I don't think buying a house with another person is a smart idea.
Citizen Erased Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Well I am 20 and have been with my bf for almost 3 years (will be end of this month.) We are not in any rush whatsoever. Something you have to realise is that if you are meant to be, then you have the rest of your lives to be married. Do you live together? Do you know and get along with each others families? Have you both committed to buying a home (or at least renting one). Someone mentioned the religion thing. If you don't want the same things now can you imagine when you actually do have kids? Take your time. There is no rush. You need to sort out any issues within your relationship, getting married won't fix them, it only makes them worse. It has nothing to do with age, everyone may have a different opinion, but only you and your partners counts. Only YOU know if you are ready to make that step, to know you are mature enough to handle such a committment. And if you were then you wouldn't make it up for discussion on LS now would you?
shadowofman Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 As long as you are asking for opinions, here's mine. NEVER GET MARRIED
Citizen Erased Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 As long as you are asking for opinions, here's mine. NEVER GET MARRIED Or such detailed artwork on your back... damn that would hurt
shadowofman Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Thank's for noticing. I'm extremely proud of it. And it only started hurting after the fourth hour.
Lyssa Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 You're way too young, IMHO! Purchasing a house for your own is a good thing, btw. If anything happens.... you have a house!
Author WonderingWTD Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 yeah i talked to him about the house thing today and he told me that hes actually been considering it for awhile, but he was thinking a condo. Im really excited now, we start looking tomorrow! As for marriage, lets just take it one step at a time. I guess id like to establish a career before i get married. And yes our families do get along well, my sister even told me that i better keep him around.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Infatuation rushes, love waits. How long have you guys been together, a month?
And its just Alice Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 If you think getting married is the right thing to do and you really love him,do it.You only live once and you should always follow you heart
Replicant Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 lol i work A LOT and spend very little. And he comes from a very rich family. I always thought that was something u did after marriage though. Is it a better idea to purchase a home before? Yes but regardless of if his family is rich, you should be making sure you get your life on track for what you want to do or achieve at your age. Primarily an education and then a career. How to believe statistics on how marriages at your age end up is entirely up to you of course. But typically your average early 20's'ish couple lacks the maturity in lasting decisions unlike previous generations such as parents or grandparents but then again those were different times also. This dude seems to be putting pressure on you from what it seems maybe subtle at times but it's there. The whole business with forced conversion to Islam is definitely a huge red flag here. I do think you need to take the pink spectacles off and look at this better before you kick yourself years down the road for turning a blind eye towards it. You should not have to give up your own goals and the religion you are accustomed to along with all that comes with it to make love succeed. Even if all religion has or (had) gender based issues over time, Islam is by far the one stuck the furthest in the past with no intentions of assimilating it to the modernization of current society. But rather dictating modern society and people conform in reverse. (Such as what you said about your options in naming a child). I think it's disgusting for one to have to give up the very rights in such countries where freedoms were fought for in war...where Muslims would so easily wish to restrict (or remove) if given the opportunity to do so.
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