Author WonderingWTD Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 im saying that im not going to leave alex in the near future. My question is if any of you would ever consider giving a religion and changing your whole life for love. I mean real love. And yeaa the cheating is a whole other issue. I ****ed up extremely early on, and he saw that i regreted it. I havent broke his trust since, and things are slowly getting better.
sunshinegirl Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 My question is if any of you would ever consider giving a religion and changing your whole life for love. I mean real love. Possessive/jealous behavior is corrosive to real love over time. I'm not sure if I caught how long you've been dating...? But I would be very surprised if, 5 years down the road, you feel the same way about his possessiveness. Are you prepared to GIVE UP your career ambitions for this man? What are your career dreams?
MR2Aaron Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Possessive/jealous behavior is corrosive to real love over time. I'm not sure if I caught how long you've been dating...? But I would be very surprised if, 5 years down the road, you feel the same way about his possessiveness. Are you prepared to GIVE UP your career ambitions for this man? What are your career dreams? According to her profile, she's seventeen, and they've been together for seven months. I would honestly never do this. Realize that what this man is asking you to do is give up a part of yourself and believe what he wants just for him. Do you think he'd be willing to reciprocate? My guess is if you asked him, he'd tell you that this is not negotiable. Also realize (as it sounds like you already have) that Islam is not just a religion, but a whole lifestyle. What if this guy decided that he really wants you to honor the hijab (Muslim dress code). Would you be willing to give up your jeans and halter tops for a burqa or a chador?
Blamed0 Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 I would like to just say a few things, since i'm a muslim too. There are alot of different kind of muslims, and how tight they are. By tight, i mean tight about their religious beliefs. 'Hijab' is a factor of being a Muslim woman. But that doesn't mean your husband has to force you to wear it. Its pretty much sometimes, the womans choice. Unless the muslims are from the farm parts, or countrysides. I live in Egypt. Alot of women/girls here are not wearing 'Hijab'. Alot of them still wear like most people in Europe. Some wear short skirts, and hell, some wear Micro skirts. Muslim men have big jealousy against women knowing other men, and thats pretty much a fact. Its your decision if you want to stay with your Boyfriend. But the things you disagree with now, you have to work it out, before marriage. Otherwise things will go bad. Hope this Helps. Contact me for anythnig.
Author WonderingWTD Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 i think more than anything you understand my situation blamed0. I think a lot of these posts are from people who think of muslim people as bad, which he is not. He considers himself muslim and follows the basic guidelines, but since he comes from a very laid back family he doesnt follow the lifestyle closely and would never expect me too. I wouldnt have to change my religion either, but my children would have to decide what they wanted to do, at least that is what someone told me earlier today. And while a lot of people think that muslim men are prone to beat their women, its actually the opposite. They have one of the lowest abuse rates in the world. Not all muslims follow everything so closely, especially ones born in the US, so i wouldnt be wearing any different clothing, or praying 5 times a day.. simply its all just my decision... i learned all this today by talking to a guy at the store i work at, he said that i need to confornt him about my worries, but everything that the Muslim religion is based on is the womens choice. This is what i really wanted to no, i thought i had no choice at all about anything, but now that i see i do.. i think im gonna stick arounf with him, i love him so much and i really believe that my happiness will never lessen.
lino Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 i think more than anything you understand my situation blamed0. I think a lot of these posts are from people who think of muslim people as bad, which he is not. He considers himself muslim and follows the basic guidelines, but since he comes from a very laid back family he doesnt follow the lifestyle closely and would never expect me too. I wouldnt have to change my religion either, but my children would have to decide what they wanted to do, at least that is what someone told me earlier today. And while a lot of people think that muslim men are prone to beat their women, its actually the opposite. They have one of the lowest abuse rates in the world. Not all muslims follow everything so closely, especially ones born in the US, so i wouldnt be wearing any different clothing, or praying 5 times a day.. simply its all just my decision... i learned all this today by talking to a guy at the store i work at, he said that i need to confornt him about my worries, but everything that the Muslim religion is based on is the womens choice. This is what i really wanted to no, i thought i had no choice at all about anything, but now that i see i do.. i think im gonna stick arounf with him, i love him so much and i really believe that my happiness will never lessen. Oh sorry I misunderstood then, I thought you were thinking of converting yourself to islam. I got that impression from your earlier posts.
Lyssa Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I would like to just say a few things, since i'm a muslim too. There are alot of different kind of muslims, and how tight they are. By tight, i mean tight about their religious beliefs. 'Hijab' is a factor of being a Muslim woman. But that doesn't mean your husband has to force you to wear it. Its pretty much sometimes, the womans choice. Unless the muslims are from the farm parts, or countrysides. I live in Egypt. Alot of women/girls here are not wearing 'Hijab'. Alot of them still wear like most people in Europe. Some wear short skirts, and hell, some wear Micro skirts. Muslim men have big jealousy against women knowing other men, and thats pretty much a fact. Its your decision if you want to stay with your Boyfriend. But the things you disagree with now, you have to work it out, before marriage. Otherwise things will go bad. Hope this Helps. Contact me for anythnig. I am a practicing Muslim. But no one could ever guess I am one because of the way I dress and also the way my family lead our lives. We do not drink obviously but we do pray 5 times a day. My parents are religious, even more so than I am but they do not control me in any way. Those who are clueless, ignorant and close-minded are the ones that think all Muslim are bad people. Gee whizz... go read up! Better yet, go out and broaden your horizons! OP, follow your heart. I can tell you this, Islam is not strict at all if you ask the right people. Get yourself educated on Islam first before you make your decision. Just read up and learn more. No one can force you into converting if you do not want to.
Author WonderingWTD Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 thank you so much lyssa, this really proved to me that they arent all bad, actually the majority arent. I think there are more people how consider themselves christian/catholic that are bad people then there is muslim bad people. I will learn everything i need to no before i decide.
Blamed0 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I'm happy you've kind of came to a conclusion. I'm a muslim, i pray weekly. But i don't really pray the 5 times a day thing. If you guys get married, you can also just be muslim on papers, but not from your heart, so that won't mean your a muslim.
Lyssa Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 thank you so much lyssa, this really proved to me that they arent all bad, actually the majority arent. I think there are more people how consider themselves christian/catholic that are bad people then there is muslim bad people. I will learn everything i need to no before i decide. You're welcome. I don't know if I helped much but it's good that you're willing to learn more before making a decision... All the best and do keep us posted!!!
sunshinegirl Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Wondering, just to be clear, my objections are not rooted in him being Muslim. I have several Muslim friends in my life and I have traveled a fair amount in Muslim countries, including Iran. My concerns for you are rooted in your very own descriptions of him being a controlling person. He could be an atheist, Christian, Jew, wiccan, I don't care what, I would still voice worries about your relationship. It is because of his jealous and controlling nature, and that YOU DON'T LIKE IT - again, from your own description - that set off warning bells to me. If you want to ignore those well-meaning concerns as merely anti-Muslim sentiment, well, that is your prerogative. I wish you could step back a little bit and take in that feedback more constructively, however. At any rate, good luck with whatever you decide.
JamesM Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I came in late, but The Riddler said most of what I would tell you. And truthfully, knowing him, I don't think he said it because your BF is Muslim. His comments were because of how you talked of your BFs possessiveness. Having been married for many years, I can say that big differences such as religion CAN be huge obstacles to overcome. Some do it, but most don't. And if you think he is possessive now, I think he will not get better after marriage. He may, but most don't. And this has nothing to do with his religion or yours. Think about this courtship carefully. And go slowly. There is no need to rush into marriage. What is an extra year of dating when you plan on being married for many decades?
Pyro Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I came in late, but The Riddler said most of what I would tell you. And truthfully, knowing him, I don't think he said it because your BF is Muslim. His comments were because of how you talked of your BFs possessiveness. Thank you. I have nothing against those who are Muslim. I went to school with many and some of them were very good people. My comments were in regard to the possessiveness and controlling demeanor that the BF already has. Actually, I already explained myself in post #6.
Replicant Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 i mean this isn't what i pictured my life being.. but i just love him so much. I couldnt imagine giving him up.. and over religion? I love my religion also... So do i need to choose love or religion? You should not have to give up what you enjoy in your life so another can have conditional love based on their religion. Though ideally the choice in the end is yours to live with. Careful consideration should be made in the sense of what the future holds, (or more of a stranglehold on your freedoms and choices due to staunch Islamic fundamentalism) for instance the naming of a baby like you mentioned. Try turning the situation around, ask him if he loves you would he become a practicing catholic. See what reaction comes of that.
lino Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I think there are more people how consider themselves christian/catholic that are bad people then there is muslim bad people. I guess that solves your problem then
Recommended Posts