silktricks Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 When you are being deceived and lied to from your SO the last thing you want is to speak to, mingle with people who are just like your SO. That is not being mean, its just a reality, you want to distance yourself from that until you can come to grips with what just happened. Isn't the process hard enough without adding this to the mix? Yes, the process is unbelievably difficult. Keep your chin up, though, 'cuz you can come through just fine on the other side of the mess. Every situation is unique and has its own challenges. Don't use this board as a fount of wisdom, because it certainly isn't that. Pick and choose carefully. There are a number of people here who mean well, and some who don't. Good luck to you in your struggles. I hope the best for you.
Lyssa Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Not to nitpick' date=' but I think its important to say "some BW" just as Silk said "some OW". Because in both occasions its not all, just some.[/quote'] Yeah, same diff.
reboot Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I've noticed there are a few people from both camps that are determined to ruin the experience for everyone else.
Lyssa Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I've noticed there are a few people from both camps that are determined to ruin the experience for everyone else. I can't remember this particular BW's handle but she was cool. Understood both sides and never judged anyone. I agree with you, Reboot. I do notice that as well... only a few of them...
fanou22 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Hi abeliever, I was thinking the same exact thing. I too have noticed what you are referring to. I am glad you posted. I peruse all the forums and have noticed quite a few threads lately where, for example, a betrayed wife is pouring her heart out about her pain, then another member here will try to comfort her and say "don't worry-I doubt the affair will last" . Then a former other woman will come in and explain how her affair turned into a real relationshp, and how much better looking she is then the wife and how it was just upgrading for the husband. It just seems very heartless and pointless to make that point in a thread started by a hurt spouse. I'm thinking..."ummm and how is this helping the original poster? What is the point? Why rub salt in the wound?" Then other posters try to move back to the original topic and the former other woman will still be fighting about how her and former married man are for real, how it is true love and they worked out and left the bitter spouse in the dust. Another time-Same topic (sad bitter spouse shocked and sad)and an OW was posting about how the wife of her MM really deserved to be cheated on, she was such a nag, etc, etc, brought it on herself, etc etc. Does a sad betrayed spouse really need to hear how you now have this super great relationship and how you know for a fact you are so much better looking? What is the point of doing that? Certainly not to help the original poster...that is for sure. Did you ever stop to think for a minute that the people you are referring to were only looking for validation? Whether we want to admit it or not, our human nature wants to hurt others when we are hurt....I know right now you can start talking about the good vs the bad which is not the highlight of the topic. If you had been here long enough, you will notice most of the time, BS, MM, OW all go away after a time...this is their place to find others with whom they share their stories and potentially get some advice to move on. I assure you a BS and OW can definitely learn from each other!!!!!!!!!!!
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