This aint right

[Numb_L.Park]

I cant get my ex out of my head even though its been nearly a year. When i met her i was confident social and enjoyed life. She on the other hand was a fake that seemed a great laugh and fun to be with yet after over a year together i realised she still loved her ex, was clinically depressed about the 2 of them splitting up.

We split up as i got sick of her ex being around all the time and her dropping our plans if he asked her to go some where or do something for him. I don't love her and can write a list of a 100 reasons why i was un happy when with her - but sex was incredible and i have never met anyone before or since that turned me on the way she did. I have tried 2 realtionships since both ended as i just cant "cheat" in my head with someone when i keep thinking of her.

Can't understand how our lives have swapped around in that shes the one strutting her stuff and apparently having a great life now, and its now me thats diagnosed as depressed!! I dont want to be with her as i know it'll never work - yet somehow i cant stop thinking of her wondering what shes doing if shes with a bloke now and i even felt jealous tonight when i saw her all dressed up on her way to meet someone.

I cant move on, breathe or be the person i was before her and i dont understand why not. I was treated for depression but stopped tablets as refuse to believe someone i dont love nor want to be with is the cause of my problems - it just doesnt make logical sense.

Any ideas on gettting me out this rut?

[Numb_L.Park]

Bump, anyone got any answers why i miss someone i don't want to be with

[Numb_L.Park]

Ok no answers, wrong forum bye

[Spinderella]

I'm sorry you have recieved no answers. It may be that people are not quite sure what advice they can give you.

It sounds as though you have somehow taken on your exes issues when you were in a relationship with her. Perhaps you should go to some real life counselling or thought therapy to change the way you are thinking about this. You can also do this yourself with the help of good books.

Keep talking about it on here, I am sure you will get some responses.

[Numb_L.Park]

Thanks spinderella. I dont talk about my feelings so thought id give this a go to try and take away some of the lost feeling inside. I know i dont want to be with her - i know shes seeing other blokes but it still hurts even though i have sen a few women as well, and i really dont know why. I broke up with her loads of times over her ex yet always wished shed see my point of view we had no privacy as hed come around 24/7 or shed invite him. I guess i miss "having someone" more than her - i dont sleep around nor ever will do so i need to find a way to meet someone special again

[MattyTee]

Hey Numb,

 

I think Spinderella is right, counselling may well help you. Depression is a difficult thing to deal with and asking for help from a professional is always a good idea.

 

It sounds like you have developed an attachment to her, or perhaps even the idea of her. A good therapist will be able to help you discover why this might be. I know, I've been there and am still doing it It is unlikely that the depression is due to her, but was perhaps sparked by her leaving.

[Numb_L.Park]

Thanks Matty. I had issues i didnt feel comfortable with like loss of appetite, feeling down but Doc put me on tabs when i really wanted to sit and let it all go with someone one on one. Like said i threw tabs away - i maybe down but am not out !! I just wish i could have a real life person to let it all out to. Yes i know its wrong to think of her after so long - bearing in mind i wish her all the best and a happy life. It's the fall out im trying to deal with thats the problem. No i dont want her - yes i miss something about that relationship i havent had since with others thats stopping me moving on. Im not mad !! just very very confused right now!