chill chic Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 So I've still been seeing this guy, we went to a haunted house & a lounge the other night. The whole time he was either holding my hand, putting his arm around me, or giving me lil kisses. We never ran out of things to say like usual, we laugh, have a great time. After we had a few drinks, we were talking about us, he said that he's always liked me, and he was saying things to make me feel comfortable around him. And before all of this, his friend came over, introduced me to his friend, then his friend had other friends with him and his friend said "and this is his wife" talk about awkward! but we both laughed. then after the night was over, we went back to his place and just cuddled while we slept, no sex. And it's funny, ever since I told him that I hoped he had good intentions, and told him about the late night texts about sex, we haven't had sex since then, so I don't know if he realizes that and is holding back so I don't think he's JUST for that. But I'm seeing a difference, which is good, because that's how I want it. So...ever since I've known him, (may) we've had sex a total of 2 times so I think that's pretty good. One of the times I intiated it. so...now on his myspace, he took off the "single" status, BUT he hasn't said, lets be exclusive or be my gf. Even though I've asked him before if he was seeing anyone else, and he said no. So what should I do from here on out? Should I say something or should I wait for him to come out & say it?
Timberlane Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 So you have had sex twice before since May, but not now? What is that about? I would assume this would be something you did a bit more frequently by now. Do you not see each other often?
Author chill chic Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 So you have had sex twice before since May, but not now? What is that about? I would assume this would be something you did a bit more frequently by now. Do you not see each other often? well probably 3 times, then we just mess around no sex, but yah, I wanted to hold off until we're officially exclusive, so he doesn't think I just want one thing, and so I know he doesn't just want one thing. and someone on here told me to start doing that, so I've stuck by my word
johan Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 So what should I do from here on out? Should I say something or should I wait for him to come out & say it? Be patient. As long as you're having fun, just let things happen. One or the other of you will bring it up. I wouldn't recommend strategizing on it too much.
Author chill chic Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 Be patient. As long as you're having fun, just let things happen. One or the other of you will bring it up. I wouldn't recommend strategizing on it too much. ok good idea, I think I'm just getting a bit nervous because it's getting to be more serious now, but I will still take it in stride. and thanks Johan for your other post, I hope you're doing well too
Author chill chic Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 Another rant on my part....may seem a lil obsurd...BUT I've had a bad day.. I accidentally hit another car and damaged my front bumper, no one hurt, just a fender bender but I was still upset because my car is messed up, like anyone would be. So...thinking this guy would be by my side or at least give me comfort, I emailed him and told him the situation and just said "I need a hug" just simple as that, and no response yet. I can tell he read the email so that's what I don't get. He even posted a bulletin on his myspace later on so obviously I would know that he read the email if he's on his myspace. Then I wrote him an email about a job that I came across, they called me, it's a good paying job, but the job might require relocation or traveling. So I told him about it and I just said that while it's nice to explore new cities, I couldn't go alone, so I'm going to keep my current job. That's all I said, maybe I'm looking too far into this like always but geez.
birdie Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 well the first one is just that he knows it's just a fender so he is not making an issue out of it. it's not that he is not concerned but he knows that you are ok so you don't need him rushing over to you right now. the second one is a bit tricky: if you keep emailing stuff like that he will think you are trying to manipulate him into saying things so you would stay or promise that he would go with you. be careful, this is the oldest trick in the book and everyone knows it
lino Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 That's all I said, maybe I'm looking too far into this like always but geez. Yeah, I think you are the second one is a bit tricky: if you keep emailing stuff like that he will think you are trying to manipulate him into saying things so you would stay or promise that he would go with you. be careful, this is the oldest trick in the book and everyone knows it Seems like that to me too. If I was him I'd get the impression that she's trying to test & play games with me, which I hate!
Author chill chic Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 great, that wasn't what I was trying to do, but I can tell it came across like that. uhhh I messed up ONCE again
Cobra_X30 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 great, that wasn't what I was trying to do, but I can tell it came across like that. uhhh I messed up ONCE again No worries! If he likes you enough and gets to know you, then this wont bug him too much. Just dont do this all the time. Makes you seem crazy needy.
Trialbyfire Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 cc, just accept no less than respect and if it's given, provide no less. Beyond that, don't worry about what someone else thinks of you. Focus more about where you want to be in life and the person you aspire to be.
bish Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 So I've still been seeing this guy, we went to a haunted house & a lounge the other night. The whole time he was either holding my hand, putting his arm around me, or giving me lil kisses. We never ran out of things to say like usual, we laugh, have a great time. After we had a few drinks, we were talking about us, he said that he's always liked me, and he was saying things to make me feel comfortable around him. And before all of this, his friend came over, introduced me to his friend, then his friend had other friends with him and his friend said "and this is his wife" talk about awkward! but we both laughed. then after the night was over, we went back to his place and just cuddled while we slept, no sex. And it's funny, ever since I told him that I hoped he had good intentions, and told him about the late night texts about sex, we haven't had sex since then, so I don't know if he realizes that and is holding back so I don't think he's JUST for that. But I'm seeing a difference, which is good, because that's how I want it. So...ever since I've known him, (may) we've had sex a total of 2 times so I think that's pretty good. One of the times I intiated it. so...now on his myspace, he took off the "single" status, BUT he hasn't said, lets be exclusive or be my gf. Even though I've asked him before if he was seeing anyone else, and he said no. So what should I do from here on out? Should I say something or should I wait for him to come out & say it? Great! A nice guy finally gets his due!! Now I have to ask...when are you going to cheat on him with a "bad boy"?? Now don't go flying off the handle guys...I say this primarily in jest since nice guy's usually get walked all over.
Krytie TV Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Great! A nice guy finally gets his due!! Now I have to ask...when are you going to cheat on him with a "bad boy"?? Now don't go flying off the handle guys...I say this primarily in jest since nice guy's usually get walked all over. It's only 6 months from being a nice guy to being boring. *sits, watching the clock*
bish Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 BUT he hasn't said, lets be exclusive or be my gf. Even though I've asked him before if he was seeing anyone else, and he said no. So what should I do from here on out? Should I say something or should I wait for him to come out & say it? Well since he is a "nice guy" he probably has been shi!t on a few times. He may just be taking it slow and making sure you don't do the same to him. If thats the case, he is being very smart about it and not rushing things. If he really is a great guy...isn't he worth the wait? And BTW..isn't it the women that are usually saying that line?
Author chill chic Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 good points on both replies. I think yesterday I was just stressing out too much so my mind was kinda haywire. as for the fact that I said I didn't want to relocate unless I wasn't alone, didn't necessarily mean HIM, it could've came across that way though, but that's not the point I was getting at, just saying that I'd be alone in a new city, without family or friends. anyway, tbf, you're right I shouldn't worry so much about how other people read me and who knows he could be disappointed in the fact that my myspace status still says single and he took his completely off after being single ever since he got his myspace, but if he is, which I kinda doubt then he should just tell me or ask me to be his gf, until then, I'm keeping it single.
Author chill chic Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 Great! A nice guy finally gets his due!! Now I have to ask...when are you going to cheat on him with a "bad boy"?? Now don't go flying off the handle guys...I say this primarily in jest since nice guy's usually get walked all over. I'm not going to mess with the bad anymore, it got me no where, and once I'm in a relationship I don't cheat! I'm very loyal, sometimes too much.
Star Gazer Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 First, how can this guy take OFF the "Single" status on his MySpace without replacing it with "In a Relationship"?? The only other applicable option would be "Swinger" - I hope he didn't change it to that! Then I wrote him an email about a job that I came across, they called me, it's a good paying job, but the job might require relocation or traveling. So I told him about it and I just said that while it's nice to explore new cities, I couldn't go alone, so I'm going to keep my current job. That's all I said, maybe I'm looking too far into this like always but geez. Why are you sharing this information with him? Seems like you're trying to get a response out of him, that (despite the fact you say you would'n't go alone) you want a relationship to keep you where you are. Stop fishing and begging for confirmation of his feelings for you and what he wants out of the relationship. Let it evolve NATURALLY.
Author chill chic Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 that's what I'm wondering, I was trying to figure it out myself, but somehow it doesn't say anything, like he took it off for real. but no luckily it doesn't say swinger! I would be pissed lol. but yes I totally agree with you, my mind was going through some things yesterday, and when that happens, like when my emotions run wild I have to steer clear of situations like that, because it's not healthy, so maybe I'll start wearing a rubber band around my wrist again so I can snap it when I start feeling like that but seriously it'd not a good habit and hopefully it didn't effect him in anyway
Cobra_X30 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 but yes I totally agree with you, my mind was going through some things yesterday, and when that happens, like when my emotions run wild I have to steer clear of situations like that, because it's not healthy, so maybe I'll start wearing a rubber band around my wrist again so I can snap it when I start feeling like that but seriously it'd not a good habit and hopefully it didn't effect him in anyway LOL... sometimes impulsive can be a good thing. In this instance it wasnt. The more you show him how desperately you are for his acceptance and affection the less likely he is to provide it. Maybe play hard to get!
Blue Eyed Brain Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Wait for him to pursue. Men like to feel they are in control even though it's known that the female has the say on whether she wants love, sex, etc. Relax and chill for a while.
Author chill chic Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 LOL... sometimes impulsive can be a good thing. In this instance it wasnt. The more you show him how desperately you are for his acceptance and affection the less likely he is to provide it. Maybe play hard to get! maybe it wasn't so bad afterall. he just wrote me a message about me having any ideas or suggestions of what he should be for Halloween and asked what I was doing for Halloween. but still next time, I'll be less impulsive, good idea
Cobra_X30 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 maybe it wasn't so bad afterall. he just wrote me a message about me having any ideas or suggestions of what he should be for Halloween and asked what I was doing for Halloween. but still next time, I'll be less impulsive, good idea Naw, he is just bieng a nice guy! He probably likes you enough to ignore your insecure side. Let him chase you! He's going to like that!
bish Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I'm not going to mess with the bad anymore, it got me no where, and once I'm in a relationship I don't cheat! I'm very loyal, sometimes too much. Hot damn, the perfect woman IS out there afterall!!!! Someone asked me once, what is the top quality you look for in a woman...and honestly, the first quality is, someone who, to my knowledge, hasn't cheated on anyone. I know...how do you know? Well if you live in a small town like I do, you pretty much know. But my rule now is, mess around once...holding hands...a kiss...whatever, and they are history.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Hot damn, the perfect woman IS out there afterall!!!! Someone asked me once, what is the top quality you look for in a woman...and honestly, the first quality is, someone who, to my knowledge, hasn't cheated on anyone. I know...how do you know? Well if you live in a small town like I do, you pretty much know. But my rule now is, mess around once...holding hands...a kiss...whatever, and they are history. Holy Cow! CC, Praise from Bish is high praise indeed!
bish Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Holy Cow! CC, Praise from Bish is high praise indeed! you betcha!!!
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