MikeChurdh Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 we have gone out on 3 dates thus far, and I have to say that the more I learn about her, the more I find myself falling for her. THursday nite (our 3rd date) she asked me if we could try to take things more slowly. Her exact words were "I just always feel that the foundation of any successful relationship is a great friendship." I told her that whatever would make her most comfortable was fine with me, but then, after she left I began to have doubts. Do you think she is going to consciously start steering us into friendship terrirtory immediately/irrevocably? Is there anything that I can do to prevent this. I was really falling for this woman, and I am not sure I could be just friends? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. "I'm the Gingerbread Man as fast as can be, I'm the Gingerbread man-you'll never catch me!" "Anchors away me boys, Anchors away!"
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 It could be she honestly wants to build to a relationship slowly (meaning she doesn't want to have sexual intimacy for a while until you have dated longer and gotten to a more committed point of girlfriend/boyfriend), or it could be a nice way of saying she enjoys your company but really doesn't feel romantic sparks. All you can do is keep asking her out and see how it goes; you will soon get your answer as to whether it is "just friends" to her or not. For example, when you try to kiss her, and she lingers with the kiss and wants more kissing, or if she turns it into a little peck and stops ....
reboot Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 "recently divorced" She's not steering anything, she's telling you she needs to take it slow. Anyone recently divorced needs that. Have you ever been married? Have any kids? Divorce is a tramatic experience. Let her take her time.
Author MikeChurdh Posted October 21, 2007 Author Posted October 21, 2007 I appreciate the advice. I know in my heart that you are right, but it is just kind of tough since I am really into this woman. Don't get me wrong, I definitely respect her desire to take it slow. "I'm the GingerBread man, as fast as can be, try as you might, you will never catch me!"
jophil28 Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 "I just always feel that the foundation of any successful relationship is a great friendship." AFter 3 dates , a woman should be "dialed up " by you to be ready to have sex. In other words, you should have created enough sexual tension by now to push her into lust. It is not very hard to do this. Her comment above is ' womanese ' for - " I am not FEELING it for you. And I am about to drop you in the Friend Zone." A woman who is feeling a strong attraction for you will pull you in tighter and harder and quickly before some other woman does. A woman who is hot for you will want to deepen the connection - not weaken it by "going slow" . AT best this is a shyt test designed to trigger action from you. I bet that you have told her "how you feel " Huh ? THis kills intrigue ! Bad idea ! Furthermore, divorced wonem with Kids do not have the same social proof that young single hotties have. Their oppoirtunities are limited. You are an opportunity ,and she is now wanting to keep you at a distance ? What does that tell you about her interest level ? She also senses that you are wiiling to play by her Rules. Paradoxically,that will decrease her attraction even further. You have fallen into the trap of being " understanding, sensitive and patient." You are allowing her to dictate terms and conditions = BAD , VERY BAD ! If you do not get this handled and assert your just leadership you will become her closest male "girlfriend" !
Author MikeChurdh Posted October 21, 2007 Author Posted October 21, 2007 wow, thanks for the wake up call, I did not even consider that. Those were some harsh truths that you shared, but there are truths that I guess I needed to hear. Thanks man. More food for thought to be considered. "The Falkland Islands War only proves one thing-the good guys do not always win."
Krytie TV Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 When there are children involved, you need to respect that wish. More women could take a lesson from this women. The good mothers don't want to parade men through their lives because of the effect it has on their children. It sounds like she's a women that is worth a lot of respect.
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 AFter 3 dates , a woman should be "dialed up " by you to be ready to have sex. In other words, you should have created enough sexual tension by now to push her into lust. It is not very hard to do this. Her comment above is ' womanese ' for - " I am not FEELING it for you. And I am about to drop you in the Friend Zone." A woman who is feeling a strong attraction for you will pull you in tighter and harder and quickly before some other woman does. A woman who is hot for you will want to deepen the connection - not weaken it by "going slow" . AT best this is a shyt test designed to trigger action from you. I bet that you have told her "how you feel " Huh ? THis kills intrigue ! Bad idea ! Furthermore, divorced wonem with Kids do not have the same social proof that young single hotties have. Their oppoirtunities are limited. You are an opportunity ,and she is now wanting to keep you at a distance ? What does that tell you about her interest level ? She also senses that you are wiiling to play by her Rules. Paradoxically,that will decrease her attraction even further. You have fallen into the trap of being " understanding, sensitive and patient." You are allowing her to dictate terms and conditions = BAD , VERY BAD ! If you do not get this handled and assert your just leadership you will become her closest male "girlfriend" ! Please don't listen to this "advice." I personally want to get to know someone really well before I am intimate with them. It doesn't matter how physically attracted I am, I am going to wait until it is right for me (In other words, we are steadily dating, as in boyfriend/girlfriend.) Also, you make it sound like divorced woman are undesirable and that is just not true. There are lots of divorced mothers who are hotties out there, just like there are a lot of divorced dads. You also make it sound like simply because she is divorced and a mother, she should be willing to lower her standards and jump on the first guy that comes her way. That is absolutely ridiculous. Most men and women end up remarrying after a divorce. Being divorced and a parent does not make one any more secondrate than someone who hasn't been married. Just because a woman will not fall into bed with a guy right away does not mean she is not interested. It means she is smart and actually likes to get to know the guy. A woman would be a total slut if she slept with every guy she dated within 3 dates, sorry, but that is absolutely true. I have dated at least 100 men in my life (including boyfriends and just guys I dated a few times.) Under jophil's logic, I could have slept with each of these men if I went out with them at least three times. Well....that would make me a slut. A woman who WON'T put out in three dates is more respectable. Do you want a woman who respects herself or a woman who puts out right away for you and who knows who else? Because if she'll put out for you that fast, she's putting out for other guys that fast,too. Keep with this woman, it sounds, actually agreeing with Krytie here, she could be a keeper.
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