Donza Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I am a desperate man atm. I have exams approaching, i am nearly being sacked from work, i am alone in this god forsaken city. Away from family and friends. Yet i still pine for her. I keep wondering why does she never text or call me anymore. I thought i had moved on... We broke up towards the end of June. I have put on weight, due to my hectic work schedule and exams. I dont feel 100% at all. Why can i just get over her. I wonder if she ever feels the same way about me, if she ever thinks about me. I will be seeing her at a friends wedding in a month. I have been dreading the date for a while now. I have only broken contact once, and that was when one of her family members passed away. She responded. A week later i saw her in a resteraunt, but decided to leave her alone. I later found out she was wanting to talk to me. Despite the fact she blatently saw me. Cant quite believe we were going to announce our engagement in Novemeber either.
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Hopefully you got that ring back! lol. It sucks I know, but give it time, grieve the relationship and move on. First thing to do is get a gym membership and work your anger out! burn it off and you'll feel better about it in no time. Trust me let her make the first move!
brothermartin Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I agree with CHROME, let her be the one to make the first move. Ive just been given the same advice from some other people. If you think about it, it really is the best thing to do. You may want her back, but you dont know if she wants you back. Nothing hurts more than being made to feel, "unworthy". Most people that dump someone dont realize this, but they have to be the ones to initiate communication and/or talks of trying again. The pain of being left keeps us, the dumpees, from doing that out of a pure survival instinct. And a fear of being hurt, again.
victor_talleyrand Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 [. And a fear of being hurt, again. In my opinion it is not only the fear of being hurt again but also the uncertainty if you will ever find someone else. Lonelyness is destructive and we all fear that. I am currently going through that and my life seems to be meaningless no matter what I do. Working out, going out with other people or whatever you do does not take pain away, it just distracts you for a while. In this forums people say things and give advices as if those were very easy to follow. I am convinced that when you really love someone, and that person dumps you, the pain you feel is not easy to erase. What we have to do, in my opinion is just deal with pain. And if you cannot do it. look for professional help.
pinktiger Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 It is so right that "when you really love someone, and that person dumps you, the pain you feel is not easy to erase.". I am deal the pain. it is so damn hard!
Darkzen Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 [. And a fear of being hurt, again. In my opinion it is not only the fear of being hurt again but also the uncertainty if you will ever find someone else. Lonelyness is destructive and we all fear that. I am currently going through that and my life seems to be meaningless no matter what I do. Working out, going out with other people or whatever you do does not take pain away, it just distracts you for a while. In this forums people say things and give advices as if those were very easy to follow. I am convinced that when you really love someone, and that person dumps you, the pain you feel is not easy to erase. What we have to do, in my opinion is just deal with pain. And if you cannot do it. look for professional help. It's merely innocence lost, we must adapt to survive. Deep down the pain will never completely go away, it's what we do with the pain that matters. The key is not to dwell on the past. Move on with your life and try to prevent yourself from making similar mistakes. Things in life are only as hard as we make them. Dealing with pain is nothing new for people. Unconditional love (what I consider true love), doesn't exist IMHO. Everyone has their conditions, some are more strict than others. Even a parent or child can overstep themselves. I used to love my ex very much, I had very lax conditions too. Although, once she broke my conditions, she broke the love I had for her. Same thing happened with my mother, my aunt, my cousins, etc... TBPH, if any of those people were to die... I'd react just like I would if I found out an distant friend did. Sad to hear, but no big deal. It'd be no where near how I'd feel if my brothers or sister were to die. Being lonely sucks, but a G/F or wife probably won't change that. I'm lonely because not many people identify with me. In-fact, being with my ex was the loneliest I ever was. I was too busy trying to keep her happy, that I distanced myself from my family and friends. I always felt bad doing my own thing, because she didn't have her own life and lived vicariously through mine. I believed in the concept of love so much, that I blinded myself to a good many things. Now my eyes are open though.
FooledOnce Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Something I'm trying right now is reading a self-improvement book. I started 2 days ago and feel 1000x better. Instead of feeling like my life was falling apart, I'm feeling like like I'm using this time to reflect on myself and come out of this hardest experience of my life as a better, stronger, more attractive person. Also, it keeps me busy so I don't think of her (i'm down to 90% of my time thinking about her!) too much. The book I'm reading is No More Mr. Nice Guy and even though I don't think i fit the profile of a 'nice guy' i still think it's a terrific guide to teach you what's attractive thinking/behavior and what's counterproductive thinking/behavior. Just a thought.
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