googlezap Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 This girl I've been trying to get to hang out with me but has been consistently turning me down (ie lunch, pool etc) suddenly asked me to go see the heartbreak kid(yesterday), only a week after she turned me down for lunch. Does this have something to do with that she wants to do more date-like activities (instead lame old lunch) and doesn't want to seem too easy or is it more I'm so totally friendzoned that she's comfortable just asking me to a movie? Also I couldn't make it on the day that she set and she wasn't available for my counteroffer so she just said maybe some other time. Is there a way to bring it up again and set a day without my seeming desperate? What's a good time frame? Thanks!
Kerewin Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 COULD be a couple of things (or stuff I haven't thought of) I think she's on the fence about you. I know most guys are set to "yes" or "no" when it comes to women, but we females DO put lots of guys into the "maybe" category. Could be that she was feeling bad self-esteem day and asked you for the affirmation of knowing you're into her. Movies don't involve a lot of talking. If she has a hard time making small talk with new people, she maybe suggested a movie so that she could get comfortable being around you first. Pool involves swimsuit. Lunch involves eating. Two things a lot of very young women are very neurotic about. Ask her to the movie again; see what happens. Good Luck!
Timberlane Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Obviously you are going to end up talking before and after the movie, so it's a good sign. It might also be the case that she really wants to see the film but hates going alone. So helping her out with that will surely win points.
BlueEyedGirl Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 She is not that into you but is keeping her options open.
BlueEyedSarah Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 It seems as though she turned you down because she is not interested in dating you but it proberbly played on her mind and thought of giving you a try which is the reason she asked you if you want to see a movie which you turned down this time due to being busy. She proberbly thinks you are not interested in her and now she is not interested in you.
uniqueone Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I would say that she likes you as a friend and she wanted to see that movie.....she might had even thought you'd pay since she knows you like her (hey, some women do that). Since the times didn't work out for you two to get together, she's now going to find someone else to go with. To me it sounds like her goal is seeing the movie....not spending time with you. Sorry. Had she really been interested, what you do on the date won't matter. She would have said "Well since we can't make it for those times for a movie, maybe we could just meet for lunch instead." She wouldn't care what the activity was.
Lizzie60 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 This girl I've been trying to get to hang out with me but has been consistently turning me down (ie lunch, pool etc) suddenly asked me to go see the heartbreak kid(yesterday), only a week after she turned me down for lunch. Does this have something to do with that she wants to do more date-like activities (instead lame old lunch) and doesn't want to seem too easy or is it more I'm so totally friendzoned that she's comfortable just asking me to a movie? Also I couldn't make it on the day that she set and she wasn't available for my counteroffer so she just said maybe some other time. Is there a way to bring it up again and set a day without my seeming desperate? What's a good time frame? Thanks! tough one... maybe she turned you down the first time because she wasn't interested.. and after she gave it some thoughts.. she wants to give it a try and see where it goes... or she felt bad for turning you down, since you're a nice guy and she just wants to be 'friend' with you (platonic) or she is using you when she has nothing else to do.. or she's bored. just ask her again, soon... and see where it goes.. no pressure.. .just go with the flow... you can't (and we can't) predict the future.
directx Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Well, one thing I can never make myself do is see a movie in a theater alone. Almost like a phobia. And if there was a girl I wasn't interested in and there was a movie I HAD to see, I'd go with her as friends. But if i knew she was interested in me, I probably would not ask her because I would not want to send mixed signals.
Author googlezap Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 Thanks for the advice! One thing I did not mention was that after we couldn't set a date for a movie, she brought up the possibility of playing tennis (which I had been asking her about for a while). But I did not really pursue it since she had turned me down so many times for that, and just kinda left it as "I'll be free on most mondays so just hit me up if you want to play"
Author googlezap Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 Also, how long should I wait before asking again? My friend says the next day, but that seems a bit desperate.
uniqueone Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Thanks for the advice! One thing I did not mention was that after we couldn't set a date for a movie, she brought up the possibility of playing tennis (which I had been asking her about for a while). But I did not really pursue it since she had turned me down so many times for that, and just kinda left it as "I'll be free on most mondays so just hit me up if you want to play" Well that totally changes everything. You have to give us all the details upfront. She's at least a little interested. You should try again.
Author googlezap Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 Oh that's good heheh. How early should I ask?
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 This girl I've been trying to get to hang out with me but has been consistently turning me down (ie lunch, pool etc) suddenly asked me to go see the heartbreak kid(yesterday), only a week after she turned me down for lunch. Does this have something to do with that she wants to do more date-like activities (instead lame old lunch) and doesn't want to seem too easy or is it more I'm so totally friendzoned that she's comfortable just asking me to a movie? Also I couldn't make it on the day that she set and she wasn't available for my counteroffer so she just said maybe some other time. Is there a way to bring it up again and set a day without my seeming desperate? What's a good time frame? Thanks! She probably really does just see you as a friend and 1. wanted to see the movie 2. didn't have any other friends who wanted to see that particular movie 3. is bored and wants to spend the afternoon at the movie and wants someone to hang out with her. Nothing wrong with that! My advice is, if you want to see the movie with her, then go, but have no expectations. Ask her to coffee or dinner after and see if she accepts. If not, you know that she really just wanted a Saturday movie companion, nothing more.
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Well that totally changes everything. You have to give us all the details upfront. She's at least a little interested. You should try again. I don't think the tennis thing is really a sign. I am always looking for people to play tennis since it seems a rarity that people play anymore. She may just be looking for a movie date for rainy Saturdays AND tennis partner! Nothing wrong with that!
uniqueone Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Oh that's good heheh. How early should I ask? I would say wait a week.
Author googlezap Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 Well we have gone to dinner in the past and she has seemed interested before. If we went to see a dinner the assumption would be that we'd have dinner before it. However within the last 1-2months she started turning me down a lot. I'd edit the initial post but it appears that I can't do that anymore...
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 You are definitely in the "friends zone" with her. If this has been going on for months, then she is making it clear she doesn't see you as a romantic prospect. Also...have you tried to kiss her or hold her hand? You are going WAY too slowly. She could be wondering why the heck you haven't made any moves that way and thinking SHE is in the friendship zone with YOU and has come to terms with that. Be a man. Make a move.
Author googlezap Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 yeh you're probably right. I haven't made a move, and I think she expected it a few months ago. How long do YOU think I should wait to ask her again? If I do go to a movie with her I will definitely try to at least hold her hand...
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Wait a few days. If you can get her to go to a movie, the holding hands thing would definitely be a good thing. You should be prepared for rejection, should it happen, however.
Author googlezap Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 So I asked her to see the movie next tuesday. She was all "I think I can do it." Annoying that she won't be more certain in her plans (red flag?). But she informed me that weekends were generally better (a good sign?). Should I have suggested a saturday instead to make it more dateish?
uniqueone Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 So I asked her to see the movie next tuesday. She was all "I think I can do it." Annoying that she won't be more certain in her plans (red flag?). But she informed me that weekends were generally better (a good sign?). Should I have suggested a saturday instead to make it more dateish? I'd say she's really on the fence about you.
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Yes, make it a weekend so it's more dateish. I personally don't like dating on work nights either. I work hard and am exhausted by the end of the day and want to workout, eat, and veg when I get home, that's it.
Author googlezap Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 Any way to change it to a saturday? Or it's no big deal?
jerbear Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 A girl would ask a guy to see a movie as a friend. it is a good thing, just because a girl asks doesn't mean she wants to jump your bones, yet... I had a few ask me out to drinks and movies during the week and weekend. Just be yourself and go from there.
Recommended Posts