I think I need to break up... with my cat :(

[sunshinegirl]

I hate even typing this up because it makes the issue more real than I want to admit it is. I think I need to give my cat away.

 

Nate is 8 years old. I adopted him as a kitten from a shelter. I love him to pieces, naturally. He's a dog-like cat, very friendly and outgoing. He's a great companion, nice to snuggle up to, comforting to have him right there when I get home, ready for attention, etc.

 

My lifestyle, however, is crummy for a cat. I travel *a lot* for work and so he is left alone quite a bit - days or weeks, sometimes, and occasionally I am only home for a day or two before I have to leave town again.

 

My upstairs neighbor takes care of him while I'm away - lets him come hang out in her apartment, makes sure his food/water are good to go. But she's not an animal person.

 

As a result, I believe Nate takes out his frustration/confusion through his extremely bad litterbox habits. He craps outside of the box frequently, and rubs his butt across my rugs leaving nice brown streaks behind. (It's not worms - I checked.)

 

My frustration levels are growing as his litterbox habits get worse... and a few days ago I started wondering if maybe he needs and deserves to be in a home where people are around more frequently.

 

But I'm really sad at the thought, not really ready to hand him over to some stranger who doesn't know him or his idiosyncracies or what he loves and hates.

 

Any cat-owners out there with views or advice for me? Thanks.

[tanbark813]

What about getting a second cat to keep him company?

[Kamille]

I had to give a cat away because I was moving to a new country and I still miss him, 5 years later. Fortunately, I gave him to a good friend who loves him just as much as I do and I can still go visit the cat when I'm in this friend's town.

 

 

Yes, cats do get quite scatological when they are trying to express discontent, but the smearing thing makes me wonder if there isn't a health problem. I mean, how much control can a cat possibly have over his faeces really?

 

Then again, who knows, if it is a disease, such as perhaps IBD, it could even be stress related. But did you talk to a veterinarian about this issue?

 

And if you are gone for extended periods of time, does his litter box get cleaned out as regularly as it used to? Some cats are clean freaks and his disdain for his litter box might explain not only the outside pooping, but also what I would assume is a health issue.

 

In your shoes I would consider putting the word out that you are looking for a good home for your cat. Who knows, maybe you will be as lucky as I was.

 

If you do decide on getting another cat, also get another litter box.

[sunshinegirl]

I've thought about getting him company... but my apartment is a little small for that. Plus, honestly, I'm not sure I want to deal with more cat hair, more cat poop to scoop, more vet visits. I already am a little worried that my apt has that permanent pet smell, I've become immune to it, and my friends are too polite to tell me that my place stinks.

 

Nate actually lived with two other cats for a few years - they were best buds. But we also lived in a huge group house of probably 1800 sqft at the time. My apt today is something like 600sqft.

 

I will have the streaking thing checked out again, but he's done it since he was a kitten and vets haven't in the past identified a health reason for it.

 

When I'm gone I know his litter box does NOT get cleaned out enough. My upstairs neighbor, as I said, is not an animal person and she is both a little bit clueless about taking care of pets (I literally had to explain and show her what it means to scoop out a litter box), AND she doesn't do it daily. That's a broader issue - she forgets to take the trash out; she lets the mail pile up; she doesn't really clean her own place that much or often. I don't have much hope that I can coach her into keeping his box spic-and-span clean.

 

I may start quietly putting the word out about finding him a new home... but that darn cat. He's curled up next to me here on the couch as I type this, being all cute and affectionate. How can I give him away?! Dammit!!

[whichwayisup]

Check your local papers, in the classified section, or talk to your vet or local pet store about cat sitters. My bestfriend hired one afew times while she was away for 2 weeks. These people are trained to look after pets while the owners are away. They spend afew hours each day, sometimes twice a day with the animal.

 

Or, do you have another friend who can look after your cat?

 

Yes, the pooing outside of the litter box, draggin the ass along the carpet is your cat telling you that he's (or is it a she) pissed off and upset. And, not having a clean litterbox too...It's definately showing you how unhappy he/she is.

 

Anyway, I hope you don't have to give your cat away.

[garnet]

I have a cat who sometimes poops outside the box when she's mad at me, like when I leave for periods of time. There is someone in my neighborhood who is an official "cat nanny" who I pay to come visit her once a day when I'm out of town. She cleans the litterbox and spends 30 minutes playing with and brushing my cat.

 

I don't know if you're paying the neighbor for her time, but if not, that's a lot to ask of someone who doesn't even like animals. She's probably not giving your cat any affection, which is making things worse toward your cat feeling neglected.

 

I've only seen my cat dragging her but across the floor when she's really ill. That's a pretty egregious thing for a cat to do, since they are so clean. He's either extremely upset with you or letting you know he does not feel good.

 

It's probably the former. If you don't see your situation changing, giving the cat away may indeed be the best thing for him. If you end up having to give him to a shelter, please make sure they have a "no kill" policy!

[heatherd1201]

I have 3 cats and once my fiance and i left them for 2 days. only 2 days! They did the same thing. They were letting us know that they were very unhappy. So the next time we left for a couple days i had one of those pet sitters come and when we came back in town, everything was the way it was when we left. She cleaned out the litter box, gave them more food, played with them, and even brought some catnip for them! The price was VERY reasonable and coming home to happy cats with no messes was well worth it! Most companies will screen the people, background checks, etc. You can also choose how often you want them to come and what it is you want them to do. I had the girl come in the morning time to refill their food (its in a dispensable thing) and to play with them for an hour, then to come over around 6 pm to clean their litter box, and play some more. It was great. I'd check into it i were you.

If he is cuddled up to you right now then he (is it a he?) obviously loves you. Seeing as how he is 8 years old, placing him in a new home could be bad for him. youve had him for 8 years and he has a special bond with you. Cats, along with showing us their discontent, can also suffer from depression and giving him away now might not be good for him.

Also, what if you invested in a self-cleaning litter box? I had one (until the newest cat flipped out because he was such a baby) and it will clean itself and last almost 2 weeks for just one cat.

Also, if you dont mind your eletricity bill being just a little higher, try leaving a radio on for him. We do that for ours when were at work during the day and several times Ive come home to my female cat asleep next to the radio! I put it on a "soft" station, but one where people are constantly talking. (like delila after dark....)

Give it a try before you give him up. If it doesnt work out, then try for a new home. BUt Im sure he would be happier to stay with you and just be more comfortable.

[heatherd1201]

 

It's probably the former. If you don't see your situation changing, giving the cat away may indeed be the best thing for him. If you end up having to give him to a shelter, please make sure they have a "no kill" policy!

 

 

Just to let you know, giving a cat to a no kill shelter does not always mean that the cat is safe. I volunteered at one and was very disturbed to learn that even though they will always take an animal, if there isnt enough room they WILL send the animal to the closest shelter that has room and sometimes those ARE kill shelters. I was VERY disturbed by this. Thats how I got one of my animals. When I was volunteering and someone surrendered their dog. I was going to set up a pen for him and my "boss" told me not to, that he was being shipped to another. When i found out that one was a kill shelter, i took him.

Not trying to scare you, just letting you know...

[corazoncito]

I think a more seasoned petsitter is a great idea to try before actually considering a new home. My kitty passed away a few years ago, but I would be sad to have to give up my cat.

 

When we would go away for a week or so, even if there was someone to come and clean out the litterbox, we also left him an additional one with fresh litter so he wouldn't feel "claustrophobic" when doing his business. Maybe that would be a temporary help until you find a more enthusiastic petsitter

[quankanne]

if you find that your only option is to give him a new home, ask family and friends first, then seriously consider looking into a cat rescue organization. These people will help you find a family for your boy who will love him as much as you – as hard as this is to contemplate, you're a good mama for recognizing that you are limited in your ability to care for him the way you hope to right now. With luck, there will be a close friend or family member who is willing to love your little guy and care for him until you are able to be reunited again. We had to do that with our dog when we moved with my job more than a decade ago, and we lucked out because my parents were willing to take her and they had a huge backyard.

 

though I think Maisie milked it a bit – whenever she'd mope, my dad would take her to Dairy Queen for a pick-me-up in the form of a vanilla shake and I swear that dog got addicted to them!

[JamesM]

I have given away a number of cats for similar reasons. One did not fit in with children...he went to a home with older folks and no children. One was outdoors and needed a house with more acreage...she went to a (real ) country farm. And another was a male who did not get along with the other male at the time.

 

What I learned is...my house is not always the forever home for animals. And it is my responsibility to find the best possible home that is the animal's forever home. This does not mean I am shirking my duties as an owner, but id does mean that I am doing what is best. If I were to keep any of the cats above, I would have been doing them a disservice. If I had kept them, then I could only have done so from my own selfish needs.

 

Based on my experience and from what you have said, it would be in the best interest of your own cat if you would find a home better suited to his needs.

[monkey00]

I tend to agree, I have a cat myself. Although cats tend to be quite affectionate, love attention, and like being taken care of (especially by their owners)...if they feel neglected or grumpy they sometimes may misbehave by such forms of retaliation. Though lucky for me my cat is pretty independent and doesn't like people smothering her, bothering her, or carrying her and the only time she wants attention is when her food bowl is empty....

 

I think if you care for your cat that much but aren't around much to care for it you should consider finding him another home that has the time to.

[squeak]

I just have to pipe in that I disagree a cat wiping it's butt across the floor is a sign of anger or displeasure. I've never heard that before, and I would think it was merely because the cat finds it a pleasurable thing to do, or a handy cleaning solution.

 

Please don't give your cat away because of that behavior! Maybe it's butt just itches.

[heatherd1201]

What did you decide to do? Did you keep him (I hope you did!)....