bhsunny21 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Almost 5 months ago, my live in boyfriend of 2.5 years broke off our relationship and moved out. We had just signed a 12 month lease in a beautiful apartment that was much more expensive than I could afford on my own. I had to take over all of the bills, the rent, in addition to coping with the break up all at the same time. Unfortunately, I was unable to do much of the latter. One month after the break up, I began suffering from severe headaches and losing my sight. I spent a majority of the following two months in the hospital, receiving surgery after surgery to try and save my remaining vision. I was suffering from what is called a pseudo-tumor, in which there are characteristics of a brain tumor without there actually being one. The excess pressure in my spinal column and brain was what was causing my blindness due to pressure on my optic nerves. During this time while dealing with this, I lost my job (I was not with the company for a year to qualify for FMLA), my apartment and my independence, for I had to move back home with my family. I am unable to drive, for my vision is too poor to do so, and I am unable to see any of my close friends due to the distance. After a final brain surgery and two months of rehab, I am doing better health wise. My vision has somewhat returned, and I have been given the doctor's approval to begin searching for work. However, I am just now beginning to cope with the break up of my ex and I. I just recently found out that he has a new relationship already. He is also trying to remain my friend, for he feels guilty about what happened to me. He even told me that he thought about getting back together with me while my sickness was unfolding, just to help me through the situation. In all honesty, I barely thought of him while I was dealing with brain surgeries and blindness. It is now, when I am depressed about being almost 30 years old and having every thing I worked for taken away from me in such a short period of time, having no life or independence, that I am thinking of my ex and wishing he would want me back. I guess I am searching for resolution from the break up now that I am faced with dealing with it head on. Why am I so upset over it after so long? I am lucky to be alive, but instead I feel sorry for myself. Will there ever be a time that I will be able to get over the pain of the relationship ending? If you have gone through this or have any advice, I would greatly appreciate hearing your thoughts. Thank you, in advance...
Scorpio13c Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 I'm so sorry Bhsunny Just know that you will get over him, whether you believe it or not, you were grieving, even if it was subconciously, back then. You've had a lot to deal with & you will come out of this being stronger than you thought! You are still young, don't worry about it, you have a fantastic future to look forward to! Scorp
Author bhsunny21 Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 Thank you, Scorp! I do have faith I will get over him. I know it will just take time...and some moving on with other areas of my life. I think I am more jealous that he has had it so easy...not that I would wish any ill will on him (most of the time )! I appreciate your kind words...they really have helped a lot!
Scorpio13c Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 I'm glad you feel a little better Bhsunny! Just remember you can post here anytime you feel down, there are many nice people who will help lift your spirits Take care of yourself! Scorp
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