tmarie55 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 First off sorry for long post but please bare with me. I've been dating this guy for 7 weeks. He just got out of a 4 year relationship/engagement 3 months prior to us dating. So he asked me out, and I said "As long is this is not a rebound." Of course he reassured me it wasn't. We went on the most romantic date ever...everything was great for the first couple weeks. He seemed really elated and even told me so. I wasn't sure I was into him but I gave him a chance and I fell for him. Then things kinda changed...he did this "I'll call you tommorow" thing and wouldn't call, more than once. So I confronted him about it, not in a hostile way, and he actually changed. Wow. He keeps saying he wants to take it slow...fine with me. But what is slow? I see him about twice a week. Anyway, several times I have tried to make casual plans with him, that he agrees to, and then it's like nothing was ever said. So trying to be the "cool girl" taking it slow I brush it off, and we always end up getting together. Last night was the last straw. I am going out of town for the weekend so when I spoke to him on Wednesday I said, "Let's hang out tommorow, grab dinner or something or you could come over for dinner." He likes to play pool at our local bar so I even suggested we "or could just hang at the bar if you want to play pool." Just wanted to hang before I left town. So he says he'll call me right after an interview he has at 5pm. Well 8:30 rolls around, I tried calling him at 7:30, no calls. I go by the bar, he has his back to me and is just sitting there talking to some guy. He turns and looks at me and I wave, and he turns back and continues to talk to his friend. I left immediately, and wasn't even sure he saw me. So he calls 15 minutes later and says "Where did you go I thought we were going to hang out" I say "I thought you were going to call" So he does that "I was busy day was hectic blah blah." I say "Whatever talk to you later" and hang up. He's already told me things like "I feel so close to you" "I really like you" "I've never felt this comfortable with someone" So should I just end it or should I tell him how he keeps dissapointing me and see if he changes. Last time I confronted him he did change. Or is there no point since I am obviously the last thing on his mind?
Krytie TV Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 If you continue this, you bring it on yourself. What I just will never understand is why someone will let someone treat them with such disrespect and then actually need to ask others if they're right. How is being blatantly ignored even remotely acceptable? I feel out of touch with the world... I guess I'll just never understand.
whichwayisup Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 I've been dating this guy for 7 weeks. He just got out of a 4 year relationship/engagement 3 months prior to us dating. So he asked me out, and I said "As long is this is not a rebound." Of course he reassured me it wasn't. We went on the most romantic date ever...everything was great for the first couple weeks. He seemed really elated and even told me so. I wasn't sure I was into him but I gave him a chance and I fell for him. What did your gut tell you? Even though he may have told you he was ready - Ask yourself this. After being in a relationship/engagement for 4 years, is 3 months really long enough to jump into another relationship and have it a serious one? Maybe some people can do that, but most can't. He probably does like you, but isn't really ready to give ALL of himself to you. Tell him goodbye and to call you in a year, maybe if you're available then, date him, but this guy isn't ready for anything serious. His actions are showing you this.
Replicant Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 So should I just end it or should I tell him how he keeps dissapointing me and see if he changes. Last time I confronted him he did change. Or is there no point since I am obviously the last thing on his mind? If he was interested in you he'd have made the time to see you instead of making excuses. This should not be something you have to repeatedly bring up to boost interest levels. What the breaking point is, where you have lost enough self respect that you no longer put up with being treated second rate is entirely up to you.
clueless24 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 dont bother wasting anymore time with him, he's flaky and doesn't seem to pursue you too seriously. the more you make yourself available to him, the more you boost his ego. the others are right, it's very rude and inconsiderate of him to be so insensitive to you...he's just not ready to committ to a serious relationship. maybe he's looking for someone to be with to cope with his breakup, unless you can be his friend and help him through it, dont bother trying to have a relationship with this guy right now. move on and find another guy who appreciates you more ...good luck
Author tmarie55 Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 Thanks guys, even when you know the truth deep down, it's better to hear it to your face. I think we can all relate when we keep that thread of hope alive inside. We think prince-not-so-charming might realize his wrongs and suddenly become the man of our dreams. I think it's up to all of us (women) to show these men we won't stand for this sh*t. At least he might think twice about how to treat the next girl.
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