Timberlane Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 I met someone very appealing to me about four weeks ago and have run into her at least twice where I couldn't immediately recognize her. I would find myself saying, "Who is that hottie?" Then, I would see them closer and recognize that I in fact knew the hottie. She had observed me from her group of friends and was feeling out if I was with the girl I accompanied. One friend of hers told her to back off, he's with the girl. So you can see, we have done our little dance for some time. We went on a fabulous date last week and really hit it off. We sat on the same side of the table, conversed effortlessly, and got pretty close physically. We had a great kiss and hug at the car. Unfortunately, things are more complicated than that. She has a LDR with a Brit guy that has plodded along for a year without getting serious. Her interest in that was obviously waning. Lo and behold, he called this week to say he was committed and boy oh boy, we gotta just make this work. So I get the news and we both just talked about it. At first I was going to just fade away and forget everything. But I realized that we at least connected pretty well as friends in addition to being attracted to each other. I have other close, attractive female friends, so I know how to manage that emotionally. And she has close male friends as well. So I think we can actually do this above board. I don't expect this will be a friendship we both spend a lot of time on, and probably shouldn't anyway. Unrequited love can be a powerful solvent eroding away good intentions. We also both do a lot of the same sports, so doing that in groups would be great. So we'll see how it goes. This is the first person I've tried to do this with. Since our little romance part was so brief, it might be able to be snuffed out before it smolders into a house fire. Then again, it might be too depressing to think about. Eh, no one said Life was straightforward. Has anyone else gone down this path?
Pentula77 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 pay attention to her actions not her words...relax and she'll be back for more.
spookie Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 I've been down similar paths. I was friends for a while with a couple of my exes (we've since drifted apart). With one, I still had feelings and it kind of killed me for a while, but I ended up meeting someone else, and eventually my feelings totally faded and we were able to be legitimately just friends. With another, some time had to pass before he was ok with the friendship, but after that it worked out. It'll work only if you both can keep your feelings, both for her and regarding the rejection, out of it. I believe guys and girls CAN be friends but it takes a certain level of maturity. You have to understand that you can't have ulterior motives with that person and you have to genuinely offer friendship, which means being supportive of their other relationships.
Author Timberlane Posted October 19, 2007 Author Posted October 19, 2007 Glad you guys know what it is like. I think putting romantic feelings aside will be easier than doing it with a long time girlfriend, so that at least is in our favor. Oddly enough, I appear to also have a LDR come back into the picture. Ugh. I almost dread thinking about that too much, but it's all I have right now. Woe is me! Luckily, all Sunday will be doing things in the mountains with my best gal pal and not one stupid dating issue will be experienced! Bru ha ha ha! Friends sure inoculate you from stupid dating drah-mah! Don't ever put them aside for Love, man.
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