Ruby Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Ok I need help!! I broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago and have had no contact since then. He is not a bad person but I have had enough of suffering the same problem time and time again - Silent treatment, him getting the hump when I go out with friends, not introducing me to his youngest son etc. He kept ringing and texting since 3 days ago and I have agreed to meet up with him today, if I do not hear what I need to hear then we are over for ever. I am scared How do i broach this?
Krytie TV Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 You really haven't heeded anyone's advice so far. Why start now? It's silly to keep asking advice when you know you won't follow what anyone says.
whichwayisup Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 He kept ringing and texting since 3 days ago and I have agreed to meet up with him today, if I do not hear what I need to hear then we are over for ever. What are you waiting to hear? What can he say that will make you consider going back to him? Remember, people don't change unless they want to. Seems to me he's putting out all the stops to woo you back in... Actions speak louder than words! Is he going to change the way he deals with you? Stop all the silent treatments, the PA behaviour? Can you two learn to communicate, respect eachother and really 'love' eachother unconditionally? Can you have a healthy, loving and giving relationship?
garnet Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 I predict that you'll get back together with him today, the same issues will come up again and you'll be back here in 2-3 months tops posting the same thing all over again. I don't want to sound mean, but everyone tells you the same thing over and over again, and yet it doesn't seem to sink in. If and when this man ever changes his ways, it's going to take time as well as distance from you. No matter what he says or does today, it won't make a difference. People don't change overnight. He's never had to truly suffer real consequences for his actions because you continually take him back. This is a sad and destructive cycle. I hope one day you'll finally find the strength the put a stop to it.
Author Ruby Posted October 19, 2007 Author Posted October 19, 2007 I am thinking you are so right and I would frustrate myself if I was reading this! I am an idiot! I shouldnt even consider taking him back. He was supposed to come around tonight and he rang and cancelled as he said he felt sick and really ill.
whichwayisup Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Don't call him back. And, in afew days if he calls you, just tell him it's best you two don't see or talk to eachother anymore. I know it hurts, and you do love him but I honestly don't see how you two can make a relationship work.
Author Ruby Posted October 19, 2007 Author Posted October 19, 2007 He will call me in the morning I know what I should do and I am so grateful you even still give me the time of day WWIU. Thank you I should tell him in the morning that I do not want to meet him and that we are over for good. How many 'last chances' can I give him?
whichwayisup Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Everyone has gone through one or two relationships that are hard to let go of. Sometimes you just need to hit the 2x4 hit you afew times in the head before things really sink in. All this shows though is that you DO love him and have been willing to try everything possible to make it work. IT isn't you, it's him! He isn't capable of change, atleast right now. Eventually you get tired of trying, and all that trying also lessens the love you have for him...Replaced with love is frustration, pain and loss of energy. He is draining you and that is another reason to let go. Just tell him the truth. You're fed up, tired of his excuses and that you've run out of patience. Tell him you love him, but you cannot do this anymore. It will be painful, but atleast you're being upfront and honest. You're welcome.
Author Ruby Posted October 19, 2007 Author Posted October 19, 2007 WWIU I feel so upset as I know this will be final Why am I even still here? This should have been ended months ago! I feel so dumb!
jcster Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 like a sparten It's "Spartan," and did you even know what one was before the movie?
Author Ruby Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 he didnt call his morning! what a jackass ... He will now try to turn it that I didnt bother calling him when he is ill!
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Yep, he is playing games. He sensed you did want to see him and now he feels he has the power. NO CONTACT. Don't even dignify his behavior with a response.
Author Ruby Posted October 21, 2007 Author Posted October 21, 2007 He did exactly what I said and blamed me for not calling when he is ill! I could have scripted the outcome a week ago! I have ended it for good now so I wont be driving you all mad anymore Thank you
Trialbyfire Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 Good. Now stick to it. He's a passive-aggressive headcase that reeled you in and then dropped you like a hot rock. Whether it was intentional or not, it's the end result that counts, which was that you, Ruby, got jacked around again.
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