mrk1 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 So I've been doing the whole NC thing for about a month and during this time I've reflected quite a bit. I've been wondering about love and friendships in general, that sort of thing. Anyway, I met this girl about 4 years ago, who was the girlfriend of a very good friend of mine. I never talked to her for the longest time, but had the feeling she was "watching" me in a way. Needless to say, two years passed and out of the blue she starts talking to me. I didn't think anything of it at first, but things moved kinda quickly and confusingly. We started talking nearly every day and before I knew it she was saying things like "you're my new best friend." I wasn't attracted to her in the slightest bit and didn't exactly feel the same way. As we kept talking, she told me of how she had a crush on me since the moment she met me. She talked of a dream she had about me when she was with my good friend. However, this didn't really seem to register. We still hung out with the usual group of friends and it escalated. We started to cuddle, hug, and become pretty touchy-feely while she was with her current boyfriends. Eventually, she gave me a ring because I was going to move away and it was "something to remember her by." Months passed, "I love yous" were exchanged. This seemed like really friendly stuff on the surface. Then she hit me with something else months later. She told me she loved romantically. To top it off, she was living with her boyfriend too. As the months go by endlessly, she moves out of his place and breaks up with him. During this period, we're talking almost every night on the phone. She decides to buy me a phone as a gift. We keep talking and it transforms into a relationship. She also gives me the ring she took back from her ex-boyfriend. The relationship wasn't really stable to begin with; the ex-boyfriend kept popping into the picture, calling her once in a while. She winds up disappearing on me for 4 days. I find out that she's been sleeping at her ex-boyfriend's house all this time. She decides to confront me about it later, driving his car to have lunch. Another red flag, anyone? By this time, it seemed that I was so blinded I took her back in a flash as she said "I'm confused, but I think I know what I want. I wanna work things out with you still." I'm thinking everything is fine, but in the back of my mind I know something is wrong. Towards the end of the week, I find out they're hanging out again. I think no big deal, it's just as friends. Then I find out that this ex-boyfriend thinks they're back together. I ask her about it and she "shuts off" so to speak. She says she doesn't know what to tell me and they're not back together. A couple of days pass and I can't take it anymore, so I confront her. She tells me she isn't comfortable talking about this and perhaps it's best if we take an indefinite break. So it's been about two months after my girlfriend called for a break. I found out she was hanging out with her ex nearly every day. I started to break off contact with her, but I would talk to her every couple of days, keeping it pretty brief. Then I ignored her for a while and the calls skyrocketed. She was calling every day, at least ten times or more for a week. After a while, she asked me why I wasn't talking to her and I decided to hang out with her. When I hung out with her (about 6 weeks ago), I noticed she seemed really clingy. I've never had her act like that around me before. Anyway, after that I pretty much stopped talking to her. She tried to contact me several days in a row, but since that it's died down considerably. I haven't responded to her for a month now. She says "hey" about once a week now. I don't know how to interpret all of this though, since I'm pretty naive and oblivious. Is she basically giving up or is she trying to play a game with me still? I'm not even sure why she still tries to talk to me after two months of the break.
hopeforlove243 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 How could you get involved romantically with her while she lives with her boyfriend at the first place? Don't bother to try interpreting her action, forget about her. Besides, even if you two get together in the future, how she treats her boyfriend could be how she treats you. Do you want that?
Pentula77 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 branch swinger...but likes to swing both ways. She's out.
FooledOnce Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Man, this girl sounds crazy. Did she ever tell you that she sees elves in her cereal?? Err, nevermind. Why is she getting back in touch with you? I think ex-gfs contact you for a bunch of reasons. She might be interested in rekindling the old flame (are you?), she might want you as a friend, she might want to make sure that you're okay. Most of the time, though, it's because she wants to see if you're still hanging on that string for them.
Author mrk1 Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 How could you get involved romantically with her while she lives with her boyfriend at the first place? Don't bother to try interpreting her action, forget about her. Besides, even if you two get together in the future, how she treats her boyfriend could be how she treats you. Do you want that? I actually rejected her the first time because of the fact that she (a) had a boyfriend and (b) was living with him. branch swinger...but likes to swing both ways. She's out. Can you elaborate a little more? Man, this girl sounds crazy. Seriously. I must be a little crazy as well. Why is she getting back in touch with you? This is the hardest part figuring out. I wish I knew why. I think ex-gfs contact you for a bunch of reasons. She might be interested in rekindling the old flame (are you?) I've thought about this possibility. At the same time though, wouldn't she come right out and say it? she might want you as a friend, she might want to make sure that you're okay. Most of the time, though, it's because she wants to see if you're still hanging on that string for them. These possibilities seem more likely. Immediately following the break she would talk to me every few days. She'd ask stuff like "how are you?" which seemed to me like she was checking to see if I was still there for her.
sedgwick Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 The part where she gave you her ex's ring was the biggest red flag of all. I could never wear someone's ex's ring!!
BlueEyedSarah Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 She keeps ringing to keep you sticking around if it does not work with her ex-boyfriend. Stay in NC, don't reply to her, get on with your life.
brothermartin Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Let me guess, she's a complete freak in bed, right? You want some advice? MAN UP, MOVE ON. This girl has you in her pocket and she knows it. Cut her off. No contact, No responses. If your're walking down the street and you see her coming your way, cross the street. You don't need this kind of stress, man.
Author mrk1 Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 I'm sure she realizes it. It was stressing me out for the longest time trying to figure things out, but I'm feeling better since NC.
Recommended Posts