Trialbyfire Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 And I want to amend that just a little further : " I am glad you are in my life and I want to make love *again* this afternoon " Afternoons can be so relaxing...
Sean0775 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Very good question here. I label a girl as needy when I find her getting angry about things that really aren't that big of a deal. Example: -My most recent ex girlfriend liked public displays of affection, whereas I am not big on them. While she didn't care for this, she understood and respected my point of view, but would still want the occasional PDA. This is not needy as she was willing to compromise. Had she made it into a big issue and yelled at me about it, I'd have gotten out of that relationship a lot sooner than I did. Basically, if a girl is getting angry about a subject worth getting angry about (yes it's subjective, but from the viewpoint of your average, rational human being), it's not needy. If she's yelling at you over little piddly things that aren't going to kill a tree, she'd be needy.
uniqueone Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Very good question here. I label a girl as needy when I find her getting angry about things that really aren't that big of a deal. Example: -My most recent ex girlfriend liked public displays of affection, whereas I am not big on them. While she didn't care for this, she understood and respected my point of view, but would still want the occasional PDA. This is not needy as she was willing to compromise. Had she made it into a big issue and yelled at me about it, I'd have gotten out of that relationship a lot sooner than I did. Basically, if a girl is getting angry about a subject worth getting angry about (yes it's subjective, but from the viewpoint of your average, rational human being), it's not needy. If she's yelling at you over little piddly things that aren't going to kill a tree, she'd be needy. I don't see how "yelling at" equates with neediness. I would call that being "demanding", not "needy". Being demanding is: "I want X in order to feel good. My partner must give me X." Being needy is: "I need X in order to feel good. I need my partner to give me X." That's just how I see the two......
Sean0775 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I don't see how "yelling at" equates with neediness. I would call that being "demanding", not "needy". Being demanding is: "I want X in order to feel good. My partner must give me X." Being needy is: "I need X in order to feel good. I need my partner to give me X." That's just how I see the two...... The two kind of run together in my mind, though there are exceptions. There's a line between legitimate needs and ridiculousness.
uniqueone Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Ok, I'll explain it a different way..... Demanding is a partner saying: "If he doesn't get me that necklace I wanted, then I swear, we're through....." Neediness is a partner saying: "If he doesn't get me that necklace I wanted, I don't know how I'll be able to have a good weekend."
Sean0775 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I can see where people would make a distinction between the two, but they both seem equally bad in my mind. If I had to chose, I'd definitely rather end up dating a demanding woman than a needy woman, as the demanding woman is at least decisive and clear about what her expectations are, reasonable or unreasonable as they may be. Needy is starting to look like a nice way of saying Obsessive.
uniqueone Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I can see where people would make a distinction between the two, but they both seem equally bad in my mind. If I had to chose, I'd definitely rather end up dating a demanding woman than a needy woman, as the demanding woman is at least decisive and clear about what her expectations are, reasonable or unreasonable as they may be. Needy is starting to look like a nice way of saying Obsessive. ] I never said they both weren't bad. Just different.
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