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I have a higher sex drive than my partner but still he masterbates to porn.

Mallary

By Mallary
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Mallary New Member

Mallary

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i have been with my partner for 2 years now. Up until 6 months ago our sex life was amazing and we were having sex every day until he told me that he didnt want it as much as me. i am a any time day or night girl but he just wants it in the morning if hes not tired. We discussed masterbation the other day and when i masterbate i think of my boyfriend, i feel like im cheating on him if i dont and he is so sexy i dont need to think of anyone else. He using porn mags and videos to masterbate looking at other women. How much is normal? it does hurt that he needs to do this when im normally available and i never say "No". Should i be worrying that he doesnt feel the same any more?

 

Mallary x x :rolleyes:

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

Posted
Posted
i have been with my partner for 2 years now. Up until 6 months ago our sex life was amazing and we were having sex every day until he told me that he didnt want it as much as me. i am a any time day or night girl but he just wants it in the morning if hes not tired. We discussed masterbation the other day and when i masterbate i think of my boyfriend, i feel like im cheating on him if i dont and he is so sexy i dont need to think of anyone else. He using porn mags and videos to masterbate looking at other women. How much is normal? it does hurt that he needs to do this when im normally available and i never say "No". Should i be worrying that he doesnt feel the same any more?

 

Mallary x x :rolleyes:

 

I have to go...

 

Maybe... (I was told this by a young guy 25) that he thinks masturbation is quicker.. and he wants 'instant gratification' and not doing too much work.

 

Let me explain... I have been seeing this young guy... he says that his gf is only 23 and gorgeous with a high sex drive... any time anywhere... but he's too lazy.. when he gets home (he's a workholic) he's tired but still horny... she wants sex.. but he prefers to masturbate... because he said it goes faster...

 

That's what I call a selfish bf... he doesn't want any 'foreplay' he just want to cum... quick and be over with...

 

Maybe this is not your case, but I'm just saying what I heard from a young guy about masturbation.... :o

Saxis Established Member

Saxis

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:confused::confused::confused::confused:

 

Gorgeous 23 yo girlfriend who's "ready to go" and he'd rather masturbate? Who are these guys, so I can kick their @sses?!? :D

 

But seriously, I don't understand it. There's gotta be something else going on. I don't mean cheating (possibly, I guess) but something either mentally or emotionally or.... I don't know. Maybe they enjoy the thrill of the chase, and getting it any time, any day doesn't fill that?

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

Posted
Posted
I have to go...

 

Maybe... (I was told this by a young guy 25) that he thinks masturbation is quicker.. and he wants 'instant gratification' and not doing too much work.

 

Let me explain... I have been seeing this young guy... he says that his gf is only 23 and gorgeous with a high sex drive... any time anywhere... but he's too lazy.. when he gets home (he's a workholic) he's tired but still horny... she wants sex.. but he prefers to masturbate... because he said it goes faster...

 

That's what I call a selfish bf... he doesn't want any 'foreplay' he just want to cum... quick and be over with...

 

Maybe this is not your case, but I'm just saying what I heard from a young guy about masturbation.... :o

 

Yes well not too many people can have sex with their girlfriend, the older woman he is cheating on her with, and their trusty hand. :rolleyes:

shadowofman Established Member

shadowofman

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My W has a higher drive than me as well, but I still masterbate to porn. Mostly when I get the urge and she is not home. Also, I need a variety and I'm not allowed to actually have sex with other women.

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

Posted
Posted
My W has a higher drive than me as well, but I still masterbate to porn. Mostly when I get the urge and she is not home. Also, I need a variety and I'm not allowed to actually have sex with other women.

 

Oh no, well isn't she the worse person in the world then :rolleyes::laugh:

shadowofman Established Member

shadowofman

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Yes! Yes she is!:p

WaterTiger Member

WaterTiger

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Posted

Sounds to me it's time for a new partner. If he's not that into sex all of a sudden, he's probably not into you that much either. I suggest you break up with this porn addict and find some one that likes to have sex with REAL people.

tommyr Established Member

tommyr

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This might sound unfathomable to you ladies, but here goes. For a man, masturbating to porn has NOTHING TO DO WITH PARTNER SEX. Hope that no guys are angry that I shared this secret.

 

Your guy likes sex with you (and only you). He thinks you are the greatest, most attractive girl in the world.

 

Read that sentence again.

 

Now a complete change of topic: your guy likes to masturbate with porn.

 

Understand?

JackJack Established Member

JackJack

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Posted

For a man, masturbating to porn has NOTHING TO DO WITH PARTNER SEX.

 

-I agree and even though that might be the case, there is a problem when a guy would prefer porn over a real life human being. She is there, willing and able anytime. If his sex drive wasn't as high as he says hers is, then there is no need for him to really masterbate to porn, but yet he is choosing too.

 

Maybe he has become to dependent on the way women in porn and magazines look? Maybe his expectations of what you should look like, doesn't meet his standards, which means he has developed a false sense of what being with a woman sexually really means.

EnigmasMuse Established Member

EnigmasMuse

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Maybe his porn viewing, has desenctized him from wanting to have sex with you as much and he has become more dependent on masterbating? I don't think it means he loves you anyless of doesn't care, it may be he is just really caught up in the porn/masterbation thing, and could be or become a real problem for some people. Have you tried incorperating some porn/mags into your sex life with him?

Lostgurl Established Member

Lostgurl

Posted
Posted
This might sound unfathomable to you ladies, but here goes. For a man, masturbating to porn has NOTHING TO DO WITH PARTNER SEX. Hope that no guys are angry that I shared this secret.

 

Your guy likes sex with you (and only you). He thinks you are the greatest, most attractive girl in the world.

 

Read that sentence again.

 

Now a complete change of topic: your guy likes to masturbate with porn.

 

Understand?

Gee, I've heard this word for word with my own ears.

 

It almost seems to be though, that these men get so addicted to dowloading and watching porn, that they forget about how they like sex with us: Their most greatest, attractive girl in the world :rolleyes:

  • Like 1
Lostgurl Established Member

Lostgurl

Posted
Posted
For a man, masturbating to porn has NOTHING TO DO WITH PARTNER SEX.

 

-I agree and even though that might be the case, there is a problem when a guy would prefer porn over a real life human being. She is there, willing and able anytime. If his sex drive wasn't as high as he says hers is, then there is no need for him to really masterbate to porn, but yet he is choosing too.

 

Maybe he has become to dependent on the way women in porn and magazines look? Maybe his expectations of what you should look like, doesn't meet his standards, which means he has developed a false sense of what being with a woman sexually really means.

 

Great post JJ.

rainfall Established Member

rainfall

Posted
Posted
This might sound unfathomable to you ladies, but here goes. For a man, masturbating to porn has NOTHING TO DO WITH PARTNER SEX. Hope that no guys are angry that I shared this secret.

 

Your guy likes sex with you (and only you). He thinks you are the greatest, most attractive girl in the world.

 

Read that sentence again.

 

Now a complete change of topic: your guy likes to masturbate with porn.

 

Understand?

 

 

It has EVERYTHING to do with me if my bf masturbates to porn. He would only choose to do this if I no longer satisfy him and he no longer finds me attractive enough to keep him turned on 100% of the time.

 

Really why would a guy choose to masturbate to porn when he has a willing and avaliable girlfriend there unless he wasn't happy with her in some way.....

 

If a guy thinks his partner is the greatest most attractive girl in the workd then he really should have no need to masturvate while looking at other women.

Timberlane Established Member

Timberlane

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Posted
It has EVERYTHING to do with me if my bf masturbates to porn. He would only choose to do this if I no longer satisfy him and he no longer finds me attractive enough to keep him turned on 100% of the time.

 

Ah, what a sad, unreachable expectation you have set yourself up for once again like so many others before you. So you yourself are 100% hot for your boyfriend and cast not one eye or think one errant thought of other men, previous or in some fantasy? Well, consider what your obsession will cost you.

 

Stop obsessing about the porn. Men like porn. Get over it. End of discussion. Don't want him to look at it? Forbid him to, then. He'll then get all weird when someone attractive approaches you in a restaurant, for fear that you will see this threat and then immediately turn the search light on his retinas to detect interest. This is some of the most stressful, absolute bull**** you can put yourself and your boyfriend through.

 

Look at another guy once in a while. It doesn't mean you are unfaithful. Enjoy a fantasy life that sometimes doesn't include your boyfriend. Gasp! When you get all hot and bothered, you can seek the boyfriend out or, this'll kill you, masturbate on it yourself!

rainfall Established Member

rainfall

Posted
Posted
Ah, what a sad, unreachable expectation you have set yourself up for once again like so many others before you. So you yourself are 100% hot for your boyfriend and cast not one eye or think one errant thought of other men, previous or in some fantasy? Well, consider what your obsession will cost you.

 

Stop obsessing about the porn. Men like porn. Get over it. End of discussion. Don't want him to look at it? Forbid him to, then. He'll then get all weird when someone attractive approaches you in a restaurant, for fear that you will see this threat and then immediately turn the search light on his retinas to detect interest. This is some of the most stressful, absolute bull**** you can put yourself and your boyfriend through.

 

Look at another guy once in a while. It doesn't mean you are unfaithful. Enjoy a fantasy life that sometimes doesn't include your boyfriend. Gasp! When you get all hot and bothered, you can seek the boyfriend out or, this'll kill you, masturbate on it yourself!

 

Thinking of strangers does nothing for me. I do not want them. do not care what they look like naked, and I do not want to have sex with them. My boyfriend is all I want and need so to answer your question, no I do not ever think about another guy. If I ever found out my boyfriend was wanting to have sex with me because some porn slut had turned him on that would be the last time he ever touched me. That would be so insulting. :mad:

 

Men like porn when they don't find their partner attractive enought to keep them satisfied. If someone gains a bunch of weight or stops wanting to have sex then yes I could see why a guy would need porn.

MrsHellnoFire Established Member

MrsHellnoFire

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I think you need to spice up your sex life by a few notches. I think men get tired of sleeping with the same woman for years because everything is just down pat. It's not always about looks or hotness as the above poster implies. The hottest women get cheated on like Halle Berry etc.

If I were you, I'd try becoming less available and more exciting in the bedroom.

  • 3 weeks later...
BHBV66 Member

BHBV66

Posted
Posted

I agree, as a guy, I'm always ready, and when the few times I've gotten it often come, I don't care about anyone else or anything else, just her. Oh, and when we're not active (which is the majority of the time - we have other major issues that affect our sex life - or maybe we don't have other issues because we have NO sex life), I masturbate with her in my mind.

bigheartkindsoul Established Member

bigheartkindsoul

Posted
Posted

I'm not a guy, but had a similar problem I was and am always pretty much up for it as have a high sexy drive but the ex not always so. Never really understood that myself.

 

Though most guys would dream to have women who want sex loads and normally complain if its the other way round.

 

What he is doing is normal if its as well as, but it sounds like its instead of so.......

 

He just tell him your not satified and is he gonna do something about it? Hey sorry guys but at the end of the day if that was you sitting there with the major horn day in day out and she was not doing anything about it you'd say something similar to your SO.

cj1988 Established Member

cj1988

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I am sorry I know how you feel. My H is doing the same thing. He was into me for years and wanted it more than me, now we have switched. I am trying not to take it harshly or personally, but it is personal when they STOP wanting you !

Poboy Established Member

Poboy

Posted
Posted
It has EVERYTHING to do with me if my bf masturbates to porn. He would only choose to do this if I no longer satisfy him and he no longer finds me attractive enough to keep him turned on 100% of the time.

 

Really why would a guy choose to masturbate to porn when he has a willing and avaliable girlfriend there unless he wasn't happy with her in some way.....

 

If a guy thinks his partner is the greatest most attractive girl in the workd then he really should have no need to masturvate while looking at other women.

 

masturbation has been longer with us than any boyfriend / girlfriend. its easy , faster and addictive to the point of doing it like a chore without realizing it. in many cases ,it has to do with the woman ( guy is inexperienced , bored , not into you anymore etc ) but in most cases , its not you which the problem because we dont consider it to be one but women see it as one.

Blue Eyed Brain Established Member

Blue Eyed Brain

Posted
Posted

Don't women look at porn? Do women cheat on their SO if they masterbate to porn? I've never considered it cheating.

 

If the sex has stopped than it maybe rather disrespectful to the willing and very able partner they are missing out on. Some people stop having sex with their partners when it's psychological not physical.

shadowofman Established Member

shadowofman

Posted
Posted
Men like porn when they don't find their partner attractive enought to keep them satisfied. If someone gains a bunch of weight or stops wanting to have sex then yes I could see why a guy would need porn.

All I have to say to you rainfall is that I'm sorry. I hate your opinion of yourself. I've said it before and I'll say it again. DON'T BLAME YOURSELF if your boyfriend like to look at other women. It's NOT because your inadequate!!!!!!!!!!!!

Timberlane Established Member

Timberlane

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Posted

 

Men like porn when they don't find their partner attractive enought to keep them satisfied. If someone gains a bunch of weight or stops wanting to have sex then yes I could see why a guy would need porn.

 

 

Good luck with that line of reasoning.

Timberlane Established Member

Timberlane

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Don't women look at porn? Do women cheat on their SO if they masterbate to porn? I've never considered it cheating.

 

Not only is it not cheating, I think it's totally hot!

 

Let's not forget the thought police. Always thinking of your SO when you masterbate? What about when you are single and have no one to be faithful to? What are the rules, then? I mean, it gets silly after a while.

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