Precious K Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I can't stop crying, and this hurts. I finally know what it feels like to truly let go of the person you love. The pain I feel is unberable. My stomach hurt and my heart aches. He txt me and I responded and I finally told him to let me go.. I'm begging him to leave me alone. Because I don't know how to deal with this. He won't stop. And all I can do is cry. I don't know what to do.
Author Precious K Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 Your breaking up with him? Need more info.. I don't know how to put my first post of what happened here. But back history: -on and off relationship for 5 yrs - it was a roller coaster, abusive, controlling relationship. - he did things to hurt me purposely. I finally had the courage to leave him. And we txt for the past 2 days. And I told him to let me go because I couldn't act like nothing was wrong. He said he was sorry that he F'd this all up. I called him and left him a msg about loving him and hoping the best in his life. He also said this was killing him. I am so dumb that after all he has done, I would go back to him. Knowing in my heart that he will soon find a new gf or an interest I still love him. Its like something in my brain isn't clicking with my heart. My heart tells me "it doesn't matter what he did, go after him." And my brain tells me " you need to walk away, its tearing you apart. This will get better with time. He didn't love you."... Sucks!
wowIlose Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Sometimes it takes the reality of the other person actually leaving to make positive changes. Show him your not afraid to lose him and that he WILL lose you if he isn't willing to make changes. I would say if its been a month of you two being apart and hes willing to change and you still love him than by all means try again. But it has to be mutual and he has to understand that he can not change temporarily. Also no one can change their personality.. if its the personality you hate than its unlikely to change , but if its his actions than keep in mind that we have control over our actions and things CAN change. If your really hurting and you have no doubts in your mind he'll repeat his previous behaviors than move on. HOWEVER, if he says hes willing to change and has already shown hes changed than it would be a shame for you two to move on without working on your stuff. Again, I don't know the details of how hes been treating you, how abusive hes been... etc etc.. You have to trust your gut on this one.
Author Precious K Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 I cant sleep anymore. I lay in bet till 5 in the morning day dreaming about my ex. How I would run to him again. I feel really helpless. Stuck in a feeling I don't know. Right now I'm just full of mixed emotions. So I left a vm last night and he just txt me this morning saying he just heard it. I was told that last night when I called him he was talking to someone else. That he has been talking to this person for a while. Remember I just broke this off this week. It hurt so much to learn this. He couldn't call me back last night because he has someone who has replaced me in his heart. He said "I love you so much and I wish there was something we could do to be together, I loved you and always will. You have the key to my heart."--- I mean what the hell is he trying to say! He lied to me again this one last time. I'm not responding because I cant do this run around. I cant believe its so easy to move on. He can just walk away and not care. I just need to type my feelings away because I feel lost. Nothing I do makes me feel better. Nothing I have makes me happy. I don't know how to deal with this break up. I know I'm not alone here but it feels like I cant do anything right anymore. I've failed on the one thing I loved the most in my life.
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