spookie Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Yesterday I started my new job. I'm working at a locally owned costume shop. The place is huge and stuffed to the brim with all kinds of crap - any costume you can think of, plus mascots, crowns, wigs, shoes, masks.... It's almost Halloween so it's really busy. The job sucks. There's nothing good about it. Most of the customers treat me like **** and I spend 3/4 of the time hanging things back on the racks and organizing. By type. By color. With all the hangers facing the same way. If I slack, the managers ask me if I'm sure I get it - how to hang things up, that is. The highlight of my day was when someone jerked off in one of the dressing rooms with the door half open and a mom of one of the many sorority girls that come through saw him and went ape****. Looking around my fellow employees, I am filled with dread that this is my new peer group. How did I slide down so low? I'm smart and I had every opportunity... why am I here? There are a couple of recovering drug addicts in the lot, including one girl my age who's trying to get back on her feet so she can get her baby back from Child Protective Services (she suggested we quit together and work at Walmart instead. Walmart.), a bunch of hippie losers, and a bunch of old women who either don't speak English or wasted whatever little brains they had on drugs in their long-gone youth (they have the track marks, the rotting teeth, and the spaced-out expressions to back up my assumptions). Anyway, so last night,after I restocked for 9 hours until I was blue in the face, I got together with my gorgeous muscular wealthy "boyfriend" (though he hasn't called himself that yet). He had just finished playing in the intramural football playoffs. His team won, so they're in the finals. As we listened to his ipod in his Mercedes Benz, he told me about a test he'd aced that day, and about his investment banking interview with Goldman Sachs, which went really well. I wanted to kill myself.
shadowplay Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 He's your age and he already has that kind of money? Does he come from a rich family?
Author spookie Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 He's your age and he already has that kind of money? Does he come from a rich family? Yup. But he's smart, works hard, and has a lot of common sense, so I doubt he'd have been in my situation regardless.
Timberlane Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I hear you spookie, and I sympathize. I have been in a dead end job with morons for a year now. With luck, that will change in a week or so with a new job with more money at a company that does things that actually matter (they make surgical equipment). But don't let your new boyfriend's success get you down. Try to learn from his example. Do the things he does to make things work. I love seeing the woman I am with kick ass. It inspires me rather than having it get me down. Well, here's one person still in Suckville rooting for you. At least you have a nice boyfriend. I just got pink slipped again! Pfffft. Well, we are going to go ahead with the friendship, so it's not a total loss. Kidding. I'm happy to go ahead with the friendship. She's a cool chick. I'll meet someone else...one...dayyyyyyy.
shadowplay Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Yup. But he's smart, works hard, and has a lot of common sense, so I doubt he'd have been in my situation regardless. You're still in school, though, right? give yourself a break. Given that he comes from a wealthy background he's probably been handed a lot more opportunities in his life you're not even aware of. Not everybody has it so easy. Also...and maybe this is just me...but I think it's kind of tasteless for somebody that young to be riding a Mercedes. Actually any age...I hate status symbols. He sounds rather materialistic to me, and that's not a desirable trait.
Author spookie Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 I hear you spookie, and I sympathize. I have been in a dead end job with morons for a year now. With luck, that will change in a week or so with a new job with more money at a company that does things that actually matter (they make surgical equipment). But don't let your new boyfriend's success get you down. Try to learn from his example. Do the things he does to make things work. I love seeing the woman I am with kick ass. It inspires me rather than having it get me down. Well, here's one person still in Suckville rooting for you. At least you have a nice boyfriend. I just got pink slipped again! Pfffft. Well, we are going to go ahead with the friendship, so it's not a total loss. Kidding. I'm happy to go ahead with the friendship. She's a cool chick. I'll meet someone else...one...dayyyyyyy. Heh thanks, that means the world =). Good luck getting out of Suckville to you too. And meeting someone who doesn't suck who'll stick around. It'll happen.
Author spookie Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 You're still in school, though, right? give yourself a break. Given that he comes from a wealthy background he's probably been handed a lot more opportunities in his life you're not even aware of. Not everybody has it so easy. Also...and maybe this is just me...but I think it's kind of tasteless for somebody that young to be riding a Mercedes. Actually any age...I hate status symbols. He sounds rather materialistic to me, and that's not a desirable trait. Yup, I'm still in school, and honestly I know that working these dead-end jobs is good for me because it motivates me to get my **** together (by showing me the alternative) more than anything else ever has. I just need to keep telling myself that this is temporary, that I'll get through it, and that it doesn't mean I'm less *worthy* (of being loved, for example) than someone like him. Sounds easy but I'm really having trouble with the worthy bit. My boyfriend... I don't know about materialistic, but he definitely falls into the "work hard, party harder" category of people, and he has a penchant for the good life. My tastes are simpler. More and more I'm starting to think it won't work out.
Author spookie Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 Wait tables, seriously!! Yah. I'm gonna go look for places to apply to tomorrow.
brothermartin Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Hey Spookie, I can relate. My now ex girlfriend's family is not rich, but she's a trust fund kid. Not a lot, but it was enough. There were times that I felt pretty jealous of her too. But I know now that I should'nt have. Thats life. Some people are born with a break, some are'nt. If anything, try to respect the guy's family for doing what they did to make sure there son had everything he needed and more. If you were a parent,(I dont know if you are) wouldnt you do the same for your kid?
Trialbyfire Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I'm smart and I had every opportunity... why am I here? The only person who can answer that question is you. What is difference between you and your b/f, who seems to have made the most of the opportunities he was given. Why not ask him what he did, that has helped to make him successful? In my opinion, it's attitude. A non-brash attitude that you can do whatever you put your mind to doing. Don't limit yourself in your own mind because that's what's stopping you.
Author spookie Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 The only person who can answer that question is you. What is difference between you and your b/f, who seems to have made the most of the opportunities he was given. Why not ask him what he did, that has helped to make him successful? In my opinion, it's attitude. A non-brash attitude that you can do whatever you put your mind to doing. Don't limit yourself in your own mind because that's what's stopping you. It's also work ethic, of which I had none until recently. I'm a procrastinator on the largest scale possible... and for the last three years, all I've done was **** around. Granted, some bad things did happen to me that messed me up for a whole that were relatively out of my control... but the truth is, even the bad things I just used as excuses to procrastinte. I have no one to blame but myself for the mess I am in. I'm only 21, but already so many doors have closed. I do have a newly-found resolve not to fail at life, though. All I can do at this point is try to get my foot in the window for what I want to do... but I'm going to do it. Little steps at a time, but I'll get there.It's just going to take some time to crawl out of this grave I've dug for myself.
Trialbyfire Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I do have a newly-found resolve not to fail at life, though. All I can do at this point is try to get my foot in the window for what I want to do... but I'm going to do it. Little steps at a time, but I'll get there. You got it sister!! That's the attitude!! If there's something you feel you've failed at or not accomplished, you dust yourself off, grit your teeth and do it again.
Darkzen Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I wouldn't trade my life experiences to be a rich kid, It made me who I am. My father actually was a quite wealthy before I was born and my mother squandered it all after he passed (I was maybe 7 at the time). My siblings all had more of the taste of wealth (rolls royces, limos, maids, mansions, etc..). My Father was a sucker and never bought property, add in a couple stupid business decisions and you've lost everything. All he had when he died was a decent beauty salon in Manhatten, that my mother took over and lost a year later (go-go-gadget trophy wife). Sure, it'd be nice to have tons of money and to do whatever I want... just not at the price of who I am. I see most of these trust-fund kids and they give me all the inspiration I could ever want. I may never be successful according to society, but feeling happiness and fulfillment aren't usually measured in net worth. I'd rather be comfortable and be fulfilled, than be wealthy and constantly seeking fulfillment. That's not to say that some wealthy people aren't content, but the money makes not the person. Don't allow yourself to be measured by how much money you earn... measure yourself by your actions and deeds. Measure yourself by the type of person you are.
Capricciosa Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I understand your feelings of despair at your job, but need to ask why you applied there in the first place. Also, your characterization of your fellow employees is not only judgemental, but mean. Some people don't have opportunities (immigrants), some a trying to make the best of a bad situation (former addiction), etc. Sounds like you're projecting your bad feelings about yourself on the people around you. That's sure to make whatever time you spend there even more miserable. Try if you can to find some humor in your situation, try to learn something from those around you rather than just seething (boyfriend included).
Darkzen Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I understand your feelings of despair at your job, but need to ask why you applied there in the first place. Also, your characterization of your fellow employees is not only judgemental, but mean. Some people don't have opportunities (immigrants), some a trying to make the best of a bad situation (former addiction), etc. Sounds like you're projecting your bad feelings about yourself on the people around you. That's sure to make whatever time you spend there even more miserable. Try if you can to find some humor in your situation, try to learn something from those around you rather than just seething (boyfriend included). It's because she bought into the whole concept of what society views as successful. That will only lead to bitterness, as well as a constant feeling of inferiority.
Author spookie Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 I understand your feelings of despair at your job, but need to ask why you applied there in the first place. Also, your characterization of your fellow employees is not only judgemental, but mean. Some people don't have opportunities (immigrants), some a trying to make the best of a bad situation (former addiction), etc. Sounds like you're projecting your bad feelings about yourself on the people around you. That's sure to make whatever time you spend there even more miserable. Try if you can to find some humor in your situation, try to learn something from those around you rather than just seething (boyfriend included). I didn't intend to come off as mean. I understand all about opportunities (I am an immigrant to this country myself) and I respect those attempting to improve their lot. The person I judge most harshly in that entire store is myself. Most of the others are there because that was the best they could do, for whatever reason (addiction, lack of education, etc). My point was that, given my background, I should be doing much better. I am learning. Lessons learned thus far are: life is unfair, most people look down on the poor, and drugs will fvkc you up. I'd have more humor about all this if it wasn't so tiring, mind-numbing, and time-consuming to work there.
Trialbyfire Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 It's because she bought into the whole concept of what society views as successful. That will only lead to bitterness, as well as a constant feeling of inferiority. Each person has their own definition of success. To negate their definition is in itself, condescending.
Author spookie Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 It's because she bought into the whole concept of what society views as successful. That will only lead to bitterness, as well as a constant feeling of inferiority. I don't know about that. I don't measure people's worth by their economic value, and I would pick poor and fulfilled over rich and not any day, but no matter which way you slice it, there's nothing fulfilling about a job like this for me.
Darkzen Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Each person has their own definition of success. To negate their definition is in itself, condescending. Not completely accurate. Looking down on her co-workers for where they ended up (no matter the reason) is condescending. I wasn't negating her definition either, merely making an observation that success is in-fact what you define it as... you don't have to listen to what society says is success, because in the long run... you'll end up bitter and feeling inferior. Not everyone will be a J-Lo and/or P.Diddy type. spookie: If you're not happy with where you are, by all means push onward, but don't define yourself by your monetary success. I could've been a police officer (50k+ to start, tops out at around 100k) making decent to good money, but I wouldn't have felt fulfilled doing that line of work. I'm a creative person and need to challenge myself, as long as I make enough to pay the bills... I'd feel fulfilled. Just as your boyfriend might make a ton of money, but what does it matter if he doesn't feel fulfilled doing what he does. People are too concerned with this bastardization of money = success. It should really be fulfillment = success, if it happens to net you good money, that's a bonus.
ItIs Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 You're only 21. You've got real lot of life to live, barring some catastrophic occurrence. You're probably looking to vent more than anything else. OK. Venting is good. If you're open to advice, the best thing I could suggest is to look for other ways to make money that suit you better. I was canned from my crap job over 10 years ago, and it was the best thing that happened to me. I've been in business for myself almost the whole time since, and could hardly imagine working a job like I did back then again... or even the job of the overworked managers I worked under, for that matter...
MystifiedByMen Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Wait tables, seriously!! No way! Go bartend instead! Im is school too and bartend and make bank!! I used to work retail and said F%*# THAT! Go for the cash and you have fun doing it!
Darkzen Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 No way! Go bartend instead! Im is school too and bartend and make bank!! I used to work retail and said F%*# THAT! Go for the cash and you have fun doing it! I concur... bartending can be very good money. It's good while trying to figure out what you really want to do at least.
MystifiedByMen Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I concur... bartending can be very good money. It's good while trying to figure out what you really want to do at least. Exactly, I'm a piss poor college student and bartending allows me to work way less and free up more time for studying. Plus, you meet so many new people and get a lot of phone numbers. hehe
Lunar Sonata Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I wouldn't trade my life experiences to be a rich kid, It made me who I am. My father actually was a quite wealthy before I was born and my mother squandered it all after he passed (I was maybe 7 at the time). My siblings all had more of the taste of wealth (rolls royces, limos, maids, mansions, etc..). My Father was a sucker and never bought property, add in a couple stupid business decisions and you've lost everything. All he had when he died was a decent beauty salon in Manhatten, that my mother took over and lost a year later (go-go-gadget trophy wife). Sure, it'd be nice to have tons of money and to do whatever I want... just not at the price of who I am. I see most of these trust-fund kids and they give me all the inspiration I could ever want. I may never be successful according to society, but feeling happiness and fulfillment aren't usually measured in net worth. I'd rather be comfortable and be fulfilled, than be wealthy and constantly seeking fulfillment. That's not to say that some wealthy people aren't content, but the money makes not the person. Don't allow yourself to be measured by how much money you earn... measure yourself by your actions and deeds. Measure yourself by the type of person you are. I'd be making the exact same post except my father didn't have wealth and I was 9 when he passed. I totally agree.
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