Krazie4U Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I know, this is probably a repetitive thread but since Im new here, I hope you can cut me some slack I have gotten close to a male colleague at work for a couple months now. We have never took it anywhere or far enough to think there can be something there. I am the shy type when it comes to guys but I dont think he is. He has shown (his actions) me certain things that I feel as if he is interested but still dont understand him. He is kind of complicated and hard to figure out. Hes the type that can makes you laugh and be goofy around you so you'll never know if he means it or not. He likes to make you have a good time so he doesn't take it seriously. There are way too many times that I've read from him that makes me WONDER! When we see each other, his eyes and mine are locked. Once I feel that connection, my eyes wander off because I feel as if he is staring at me and I get jittery because I'm shy! That happens almost all the time, especially when we see each other. Do the eyes lie? If so, how come he never says anything or does anything. I thought if a guy likes you, he will ALWAYS take the initiative to make the move first, especially a confident guy like himself. We're both attracted to each other but I'm not sure of this one. He always keep me pondering and I'm not the type to ASK either. I don't have the guts to ask him but I don't know what he is doing. Is he playing games with me? I don't see him doing this to any other girl so I thought, if he is playing games with me, how come I don't see him doing it to any other girl.
Sand&Water Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 RE: Don't create fantasies, where the two of you run off into the distant sunset admirably in love, in your head. Don't place him on a King's Throne. Don't say or do something dumb -i.e. "How do I copy and paste this sentence?" Be approachable. Let some, not all, of your guard down. [if for only, 1 day, as a test trial] Smile. Make eye contact. But, above all -talk to him. Talk. Don't shy away. Sand&Water
whichwayisup Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 If he is married, then don't read ANYTHING into it. Also, he is your co-worker, so you have your work reputation to think about.
Trialbyfire Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 What do you want? A guy who has initiative or one you have to chase?
Touche Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Trust me. You don't want a "complicated" guy...that's just torture. You want someone who is clear about their feelings...not wishy washy. Someone who knows what they want and goes after it. This type of guy can be slow torture. They don't forgive easily. They always have something that they have to analyze or think about. I'd go for a less complex guy. You'll be a lot happier.
ItIs Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but you're obviously no good at mind-reading. So why get all twisted up about it? There are millions of other men in the world, and if you start opening your eyes to other ones, this one's likely to become less important. then if he makes his move, fine, but it will also be fine if he doesn't.
MystifiedByMen Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Just get him really drunk and take advantage. LOL.. just KIDDING!!! Maybe he is gay and hasen't come out yet, maybe he's married, maybe he does not think YOU like HIM because you don't give that vibe out because you're shy..
jophil28 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Trust me. You don't want a "complicated" guy...that's just torture. You want someone who is clear about their feelings...not wishy washy. Someone who knows what they want and goes after it. This type of guy can be slow torture. They don't forgive easily. They always have something that they have to analyze or think about. I'd go for a less complex guy. You'll be a lot happier. Ahh ! The mysterious ,intriguing and complicated man- does he want you or not . Does he have a lady in his life - is she hot? Does he like me, lust after me , want me ....(violins and some soft piano music here). This is what women LOVE, a real life "Bold and the Beautiful" and YOU are the Leading Lady. Wow ! Ladies what an "almost" romance .
jophil28 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Trust me. You don't want a "complicated" guy...that's just torture. You want someone who is clear about their feelings...not wishy washy. Someone who knows what they want and goes after it. This type of guy can be slow torture. They don't forgive easily. They always have something that they have to analyze or think about. I'd go for a less complex guy. You'll be a lot happier. Ahh ! The mysterious ,intriguing and complicated man- does he want you or not . Does he have a lady in his life - is she hot? Does he like me, lust after me , want me ....(violins and some soft piano music here). This is what women LOVE, a real life "Bold and the Beautiful" and YOU are the Leading Lady. Wow ! Ladies what an "almost" romance . Look !! Just get him naked in the stationery room. Zzzzzzz..
jophil28 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Trust me. You don't want a "complicated" guy...that's just torture. You want someone who is clear about their feelings...not wishy washy. Someone who knows what they want and goes after it. This type of guy can be slow torture. They don't forgive easily. They always have something that they have to analyze or think about. I'd go for a less complex guy. You'll be a lot happier. THis answer is the most compeling reason why women should NEVER give advice. NO woman is interested in an UNCOMPLICATED man- no fun in that. IF women wanted a sincere and open and honestly emotional man who is "clear about his feelings ", then all the supplicating "nice" guys would be banging all the hotties . IT is never gonna happen that way because you hens LOVE the complicated intrigue of the "distant and unavailable stranger". This is turning into another thread in which women are demonstrating their total lack of self awareness. Zzzzzz.
Lunar Sonata Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 jophil28 why are you so sexist? It's disturbing. You love to criticize how it's impossible for women to feel a certain way, then you go on telling how all women feel absolutely and without question. Anyway, I'm done with you. On to the thread topic. Maybe he is gay and hasen't come out yet, maybe he's married, maybe he does not think YOU like HIM because you don't give that vibe out because you're shy.. Maybe none of the above. Could be a period in his life where he's not interested in coupling, vibes, or whatever. That aire of mystery could be a side effect of his present sexual indifference.
shadowplay Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Is it woman hate month on LS? Why are all the threads getting hijacked by budding wife-beaters?
Ponzoli Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 jophil28 why are you so sexist? It's disturbing. You love to criticize how it's impossible for women to feel a certain way, then you go on telling how all women feel absolutely and without question. Anyway, I'm done with you. On to the thread topic I could not agree with more with my buddy LunarSonata (in B minor, perhaps!). JPhil, your post does come off as being sexist and offensive to all of the classy ladies on this board. Why all the hate. As my man Lunar said, it is downright disturbing!
Touche Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 THis answer is the most compeling reason why women should NEVER give advice. NO woman is interested in an UNCOMPLICATED man- no fun in that. IF women wanted a sincere and open and honestly emotional man who is "clear about his feelings ", then all the supplicating "nice" guys would be banging all the hotties . IT is never gonna happen that way because you hens LOVE the complicated intrigue of the "distant and unavailable stranger". This is turning into another thread in which women are demonstrating their total lack of self awareness. Zzzzzz. Puhleeze...been there, done that with the complicated types. You never know where you really stand with them. I'm not into that crap. I don't like it in my friendships either. Sorry, but I fell for my H in part because he was an open book...uncomplicated - what you see is what you get. So this "hen" got and is holding on to her "nice guy." It's stupid to speak for all women.
Trialbyfire Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Puhleeze...been there, done that with the complicated types. You never know where you really stand with them. I'm not into that crap. I don't like it in my friendships either. Sorry, but I fell for my H in part because he was an open book...uncomplicated - what you see is what you get. So this "hen" got and is holding on to her "nice guy." It's stupid to speak for all women. Could it be that women aren't looking for an emotionally complex man? Perhaps we're looking for a multi-dimensional man, who is emotionally transparent and consistent. Someone who's capable of more than sitting in front of a TV, beer and pretzels overflowing from the waistline. Someone who isn't a doormat but doesn't always need to be "right" or "in charge". Someone reliable and strong enough to handle confrontation. To expand on this, a mysterious man has something to hide. It's sometimes mistaken for depth.
Touche Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Could it be that women aren't looking for an emotionally complex man? Perhaps we're looking for a multi-dimensional man, who is emotionally transparent and consistent. Someone who's capable of more than sitting in front of a TV, beer and pretzels overflowing from the waistline. Someone who isn't a doormat but doesn't always need to be "right" or "in charge". Someone reliable and strong enough to handle confrontation. To expand on this, a mysterious man has something to hide. It's sometimes mistaken for depth. Excellent, excellent post TBF. Exactly. I can't agree more with this.
Trialbyfire Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Excellent, excellent post TBF. Exactly. I can't agree more with this. Thanks Touche. Does your H. have any single brothers?
Touche Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Thanks Touche. Does your H. have any single brothers? No, sorry TBF. Only four sisters.
Trialbyfire Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 No, sorry TBF. Only four sisters. Just teasing, as you're well aware. I'm still on a dating strike.
allina Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Is this the guy who is likely married? The one that made you wonder about pictures of wives at the office? Find out if he is married first, if he is back off. Once you establish that he's single worry about if he's interested in you.
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