nowayjose Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I’m hoping some of the women in this forum can help me with something that has bothered me for 3 years (yes, 3 years!). I think my GF of 4 years (we’re both divorced) may have cheated on me 3 years ago, but cannot (and may never) be sure. Your instincts will know, I believe. At the time of this occurrence, our relationship was very good. But on a Friday afternoon 3 years ago, my GF left work a bit early and was in a hurry to “run errands”, she said (we met as co-workers and work at the same company). I thought nothing of it. About a month later, and by accident, I happened on some sexually explicit jokes sent via email from my GF to another man that does regular contract work with our company. I confronted her and of course, my GF indicated these were just jokes (stuff she wouldn’t even send me, though). Being suspicious, I hacked into her cell phone online account and discovered there were quite a few outgoing and incoming calls to this other guy. My GF lied about and even denied making any calls to the other guy, until I showed her the cell phone logs I’d hacked. She claimed he was going through a divorce and needed counseling (or consoling?). Only then did she admit to calling him. Needless to say, the emails and calls stopped, but I did discover that she had immediately called him after work the day I discovered the “dirty emails” and talked to him off and on for about an hour. She’d never talked to him that long before. A month later there were some employee-started rumors that my GF did in fact go out with this guy on that Friday to see Seinfeld (yes, I checked, he was indeed here on that date). Of course, my GF denied it. But her cell phone records do show a 9:23 PM call to presumably check on her kids that night. The Seinfeld show would have ended a little after 9PM. She later claimed she was out shopping for her Dad’s b-day gift. Again, when confronted, denials. We broke up but did get back together a month later. To this day, she denies going out (and anything else) with the other guy. My problem: my gut (or heart) tells me she’s lying. She did cheat on her first husband before they were married, so there is a bit of a history there. So, is she guilty? I’ve struggled with denying the facts for 3 years because I love and lust for this woman every day. I really can’t bear the thought of her being with someone else. She’s now hinting marriage, but I don’t want to spend my time or life with a cheater (even if it was 3 years ago and she’s given me no reason to doubt her since). Does my doubt give me enough of an answer related to what I should do?
Cobra_X30 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 If you dont trust her... dont marry her. If she really lied about that much stuff regarding this guy... I'd say there is something she doesnt want you to know about. I cant tell you if she was physically cheating on you or not. Doesnt really sound like it. In the end your going to have to decide if she is trustworthy or not. You say she has given you no reason to doubt the last 3 years. Are you sure? If so... why have you not gotten past this incident?
Recommended Posts