Kamille Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I have been dating this new guy for over 2 weeks now, even though it feels like longer because he always wants to be with me. So we have been seeing each other about every other day. He would like us to see each other every day. I have a few issues. First of all, his desire to always spend time together scares me a little bit. I am used to being extremely independant and I can get pretty cranky when I don't have enough space. So far things are good - except for two things which to me are linked: 1. I feel overwhelmed because he always wants to spend time together. I feel like I don't have time to think. Like I need more time for myself. And I told him this and he is more then ok with letting me take my space but I still feel overwhelmed because his level of interest scares me. We've even talked about it and he uses sentences like: but I just know we would be great together. Basically, it puts all the pressure on me not only to take things slow but to decide whether or not we are a couple. 2.He's too affectionnate. Or rather, he is always touching me. It could be the hand, the arm, the leg. As soon as we are anywhere together, be it the car, his place or mine he needs to have his hands on me. And it bugs me. And I don't understand why. It feels, again, like he is ahead of himself. Even though I know from previous experience that I am not someone who likes that level of affection. Otherwise I really like him and I understand why he feels that we have great potential. I mean, way back I wrote out a list of all I want in a guy and he is pretty much it (except he smokes and doesn't have a dog... ). I just feel like I would be more into him if he gave me a chance to be into him. Like if he let me make the first moves sometimes or arrange the next meeting. I have told him this and he still has a hard time managing to hold back. Any advice? comments?
shadowplay Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I've been in this situation before and it can be quite frustrating. The problem is your tendency to pull back is making him come on even stronger/want you more. Maybe you should experiment and see what happens if you equal his level of affection. He might freak out and back off.
izzylicious Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Geez, I wish I had this problem! No really, I feel your pain. Given that you believe there's potential in the relationship, I would give it time, but also keep expressing your needs for space--for your own sake and the sake of the relationship. Maybe you could give some boundaries like you can only see him twice per week. Absence may make your heart grow fonder!
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