melo Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 My ex and i dated for almost 2 years. Its been a lil over 3 months since she broke up with me. She is 21 and im 26. After the breakup we would talk maybe once a week but it would be her making the contact. I kept NC the whole time. Well now we talk almost every other day and we've even slept with each other 2-3 times. I admit I've tried to move on but its been hard. Every time i have the courage to not pick up her calls, she calls and calls so i eventually always give in and pick up thinking it could be an emergency. I admit i thought there would be a chance of reconcile after being intimate with her a few times but it never established. I think the lust between us is still there but on the other hand she is very content of where she is at right now, and does not want a relationship. Now, she has this new "guy friend in her life now and i've even met him and we've been cool. But she talks to this guy all the time and hangs out with him and other people all the time. I've confronted her about him. Ive asked her if she likes him and if their dating, but she tells me "no way, he is just a cool guy to hang out with. I dont like him like that at all" All i can do is respect that but it makes me feel jealous because it seems like he took my spot. She tells me im her best friend but he spends more time with her and talks to her more than me. I know she loves me and cares about me. It just seems like when the weekend comes around she would rather hang out with her friends and her new guy friend rather than do something with me, "her best friend" as she so sees me as. I understand she wanted her space from me so i see why her behavior is this way. Let me note that i have never been overly pushy to her at all and made her understand that i respect the fact she dosent want to be in a relationship right now and i understand she is only 21 and dosen't want to be committed yet. We still care about each other very much but im still tied up with feelings for her still and i hurt myself everyday waiting to see when she will comeback. A part of me wants to stay and see what happens and a part of me wants to let it go. But i cant find a way to do that. If i confront her about my feelings on this i feel it just might push her away. If i keep it cool and just go with the flow, things may work itself out. But that way hurts the most. So if i do let her go....for now whats the best way i can do this? Ladies, i would also like to view your opinion on this also Thanks
Author melo Posted October 17, 2007 Author Posted October 17, 2007 i really need some insight on how to go about this. ANYONE have any response or advice for me???
alwayshurt Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 chances are that she is confused. She is very young and she probably wants to have fun. Being stuck with you, with all due respect, probably is an obstacle for her to be wild and enjoy life in a different way, if you know what i mean. She probably has feeling for you but does not wnat to be tied up. I believe she is not involved with this "new friend" but things may change if this fellas makes a move. If I were you, I would just cur her off. The more you stay closer the more she sees you as a shelter when she needs some protected zone and give her the confidence to go out there and have fun. Let her miss you. If she loves you, really loves you, she will soon realize what she's loosing and come back at your own terms. Otherwise wish her well and move on.
Author melo Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 Very well said. I always knew that inside but reading your post really made me understand what i am feeling. I want to say that a month after our breakup i did send her a text saying things would be best if we just didnt communicate anymore. I saw her at the club the following week and it started all over again and we acted like that text was never received by her, and i started keeping in contact with her again. i give in so easy sometimes and i hate that sh*t. So do you have any suggestions on how i can let her go on good terms and having her understand why? Or should I just leave and say nothing? Other opinions are more than welcome
Author melo Posted October 19, 2007 Author Posted October 19, 2007 should i meet her and tell her its best to not communicate anymore since i havent fully moved on? or should i just stop picking up her phone calls or should i slowly and quietly limit contact until she understands what im trying to do? please help i am lost right now on how to approach this situation. thanks for any responses
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