Krytie TV Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 This isn't as important as most of the posts here, but I just wanted to get it out I guess. I was packing up a box of stuff that I'm required to send to my ex-wife, one of which is a video camera. There was a particular tape I couldn't help but watch. It was always something we got a kick out of watching together and it was shot on the night we brought our new geriatric Cockapoo home from the shelter. It was an hour of complete goofiness and it reminded me of the times we had at one time. It just makes me sad that things couldn't have stayed that way and that I became only a best friend to her and nothing else. There, I feel better. I'll make it a point to send the feelings off with the box. Good riddance.
whichwayisup Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 More closure... Remember: HER loss, not yours.
Trialbyfire Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Ouch. The good times are the most painful memories of all. I'm sad for you Krytie TV.
Gunny376 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 "Clouds in the sky?" "Dosen't mean there's rain!" "Tears in my eye?" Doesn't mean there's pain!" Don't flatter yourself! I'm over you! I'm OVER you! I've wrestled with these words for seventeen years! You're free the second, the minute, the hour, the day ~ you set yourself free! The second, the minute, the hour, the day you make the decision to set your Happy~Ass free? Your free of her!
MyAbusa Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Nothing like a little Keith Whitley to come to grips with your pain... I'm with ya Gunny... Hang in there Krytie, This too shall pass
ilmw Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Ok... I was just gonna go to bed.. and had to respond to this thread. Oh my GOD... never watch videos of you and your DW/ex/stbxw.... Simply the worst thing you can do... and never do it while you have been drinking.... even if only a few.... Trust me on that one... True torture.... I learned the hard way... and the others are so right... when you are at that point... that you feel you are over them... and ready to move on... you truly are... and feel free. Also... Never need someone... only want.... When we get that straight... things tend to go smoother... Ok... nough said... gotta hit the sack... or I will ramble on... and become more and more... incoherent... ilmw
Author Krytie TV Posted October 19, 2007 Author Posted October 19, 2007 I believe that exposure to the things that hurt you makes you stronger and allows one to better move on from the past. I can't move on from things if I hide from them. So I watched it because I wanted to, but also because I knew it would help be to be in touch with the past and to put it there.
Gunny376 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Nothing like a little Keith Whitley to come to grips with your pain... I'm with ya Gunny... Hang in there Krytie, This too shall pass And here I thought I alone had experience this level of "Dantes' Hell!":laugh:
Gunny376 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Ok... I was just gonna go to bed.. and had to respond to this thread. Oh my GOD... never watch videos of you and your DW/ex/stbxw.... Simply the worst thing you can do... and never do it while you have been drinking.... even if only a few.... Trust me on that one... True torture.... I learned the hard way... and the others are so right... when you are at that point... that you feel you are over them... and ready to move on... you truly are... and feel free. Also... Never need someone... only want.... When we get that straight... things tend to go smoother... Ok... nough said... gotta hit the sack... or I will ramble on... and become more and more... incoherent... ilmw Take the pebble from my hand ~ Grasshoppeer ~ and pass it on!
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 More closure... Remember: HER loss, not yours. Actually, she might not feel it is a loss. So you can't really say that. Maybe it completely wasn't a loss to her. They weren't compatible so it really wasn't her loss, it was her gain to leave the relationship and live an ultimately happier, more satisfying life....because if you're not in love with your partner, it is definitely in your best interest to leave.
Gunny376 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 I believe that exposure to the things that hurt you makes you stronger and allows one to better move on from the past. I can't move on from things if I hide from them. So I watched it because I wanted to, but also because I knew it would help be to be in touch with the past and to put it there. You're a fast learner!
dropdeadlegs Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 I've watched a few videos this week myself. The good news is that they evoked no emotion whatsoever. Mostly they covered my kids, so I did have emotion concerning seeing them so young, but the ex....nothing. Maybe it helps that he is deceased and I am in a great relationship, but still...nothing. Not even anger or pity, just nothing. I even threw out the wedding video, watched only once many years ago. It has no relevance to my life today. I have no regrets concerning anything we shared, and that feels pretty good. He feels like a million years ago even though it's only been nearly five. Good for you for packing up the feelings along with the tapes. I hope that puts the good times in the past for you.
Gunny376 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 I've watched a few videos this week myself. The good news is that they evoked no emotion whatsoever. Mostly they covered my kids, so I did have emotion concerning seeing them so young, but the ex....nothing. Maybe it helps that he is deceased and I am in a great relationship, but still...nothing. Not even anger or pity, just nothing. I even threw out the wedding video, watched only once many years ago. It has no relevance to my life today. I have no regrets concerning anything we shared, and that feels pretty good. He feels like a million years ago even though it's only been nearly five. Good for you for packing up the feelings along with the tapes. I hope that puts the good times in the past for you. Thus? Further proof of The Theory of Relativity! The thus far from an "event" the less relative it is! Its getting to the "event-horizon" that's the "mother-trucker!" Its not the "here" nor the "there" but the getting between "here" and "there" that's the "bitch"of it all!
dropdeadlegs Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Thus? Further proof of The Theory of Relativity! The thus far from an "event" the less relative it is! Its getting to the "event-horizon" that's the "mother-trucker!" Its not the "here" nor the "there" but the getting between "here" and "there" that's the "bitch"of it all! Good point. The marriage, in my case, was in 1995, but the split was in Dec. 2002. I was simply checking to see if the video camera even still worked since I am packing, tossing and donating in preparation for th next big move...in with my BF! I found the tapes, one clearly marked as the wedding. And I tossed it! I still have an album of photos, but those are for the kids, not for me. The between here and there IS the bitch! But I recognize that I have been "there" for quite some time. I disposed of any love notes/cards two years ago. Krytie TV needed to look one last time, and that's okay. It seems to have been a good thing, overall, and didn't appear to set him back into the past.
Gunny376 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Good point. The marriage, in my case, was in 1995, but the split was in Dec. 2002. I was simply checking to see if the video camera even still worked since I am packing, tossing and donating in preparation for th next big move...in with my BF! I found the tapes, one clearly marked as the wedding. And I tossed it! I still have an album of photos, but those are for the kids, not for me. The between here and there IS the bitch! But I recognize that I have been "there" for quite some time. I disposed of any love notes/cards two years ago. Krytie TV needed to look one last time, and that's okay. It seems to have been a good thing, overall, and didn't appear to set him back into the past. I'm glad that you grasp my concept ~ I wrestle with it sometimes. Oftentimes we see things in a bi-polar world ~ mine is not. I see things is at least a three dimensional world ~ and try and see it more than such. I'll not go further into this here? Suffice to say? I'm a scholar for the sake of scholarship ~ without degree? I study to learn.
Author Krytie TV Posted October 19, 2007 Author Posted October 19, 2007 Actually, she might not feel it is a loss. So you can't really say that. Maybe it completely wasn't a loss to her. They weren't compatible so it really wasn't her loss, it was her gain to leave the relationship and live an ultimately happier, more satisfying life....because if you're not in love with your partner, it is definitely in your best interest to leave. You are obviously quite correct considering she was pregnant by an ex-boyfriend within 5 months of separation and before the divorce was even filed for. I later found out that I was nothing more than her "best friend".
Gunny376 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 You are obviously quite correct considering she was pregnant by an ex-boyfriend within 5 months of separation and before the divorce was even filed for. I later found out that I was nothing more than her "best friend". She's a "user and abuser" ~ nothing more than a parasite-type personality, a "poor-little-me" type! She will always be a "victim" of circumstance? You're better off without her ~ as hard as they may be for you to accept?
Author Krytie TV Posted October 19, 2007 Author Posted October 19, 2007 You're better off without her ~ as hard as they may be for you to accept? Oh trust me, not too hard. She became to me the most hideous hottie I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. The feelings I still carry are for the loss of what we had and what should have been, not for the person I walked out on.
Gunny376 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Ummm...they were separated when she got pregnant with her old boyfriend. How is that using and abusing her soon to be ex husband? Doesn't make any sense. Krytie is the true user and abuser....he has said that recently he went through a streak of dating women and using them for sex, just to see how much sex he could have. He admits to hurting some of them, too. Krytie is the biggest hypocrite on this board, IMO. Let me guess? Hillary can count on YOUR vote? For sure and certain!
Author Krytie TV Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 Originally Posted by Oregon Blackberry Ummm...they were separated when she got pregnant with her old boyfriend. How is that using and abusing her soon to be ex husband? Doesn't make any sense. Krytie is the true user and abuser....he has said that recently he went through a streak of dating women and using them for sex, just to see how much sex he could have. He admits to hurting some of them, too. Krytie is the biggest hypocrite on this board, IMO. Interesting viewpoint. Thanks for your opinion.
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