betrayed73 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Hi there, [sIZE=2]I really would like some advice regarding a particular issue.[/sIZE] [sIZE=2](ill try to make this as short as possible)[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Background: Was in a relationship with a friend of 18 years, for total of 5 years. She was essentially my first true love. I was very dedicated to [/sIZE] [sIZE=2]her and actually put her on a pedestal (yeah i know i shouldn't have) I honestly thought that me and her were soul mates and that i was destined to be with her eventually. Throught out the 18 years i waited on her(she was out of the country for most if the years) and actually sabotaged many relationships to keep myself open for the day she would come back. She has always been in and out of my life and i never gave up hope of finaly being with her.In fact she once said that she was happy to know that i would always be in her life and feared the day i would finally let go and move on.[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]5 Years Ago[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]5 years ago she called me and told me she had almost died and had an ephiphany. She said she realized how wrong she was for not allowing us a chance to be together. Eventually we did,she moved in with me, the honeymoon period lasted for 2 years.But eventually things changed, she hardly worked, she became finanicially dependent on me, she was very physical violent towards me and i found out she was talking to other guys behind my back(one of which she ended up bailing on me for.)From what i know now she was actually talking to this guy longer than i had suspected and i feined ignorance cause i was do deeply in love with her.[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Ok to be honest i wasnt so great either, whenever we got into fights(money,infedelity) i would yell at her and even hurt myself or threatened to kill myself in front of her (trust me i realize that i was very wrong for doing this)[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]When she broke up with me she gave me tons of excuses and said there was no other guy. Well that was obviously a lie cause i saw the pix of the 2 of them and learned that he flew her over to him and actually financially supported her. To my knowlege supposedly shes already talking to other guys behind his back.(seems like she has a pattern of doing this with alot of her BFs') Oh and she abandond the dog i bought her and went so far to tell me that she regretted doing it but had to, to me this was another excuse. [/sIZE] [sIZE=2]FLASH FORWARD[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Anyhow, flash forward to the present, after being emotionally distressed i decided to seek help, i made an effort to go to therapy and take medication for my depression (this lasted since she left, for 10 months i actually blamed myself for the breakup) Well looking back and finding out the real truth of the things she did, has finally given me some clarity. [/sIZE] [sIZE=2]I learned of how she lied, cheated, stole from me and even used my feelings manipulate and use me for her own advantage.(eg her staying for one year with me, saying she loved me and we were still togehter while she was actually talking to that guy making plans to be with him)[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Looking back now i know now that this person never loved or respected me and she was never a true friend. (what kind of GF or friend would do this crap?)[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]The last contact i had with her was via email and she continually asks about the dog and injects that she wants to one day be friends. A mutual friend of ours told me that my ex knows how good natured and forgiving i am towards her and suspect that she will probably contact me later on if things arent going well in her life. I assume thats why she left me the dog.[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]QUESTION [/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Here is the question: if this person decided to suddenly try to get a hold of me, or even goes as far to come to my doorstep. How should i handle it? A) should i curse her out for all the crap she did to me and point it all out?B) be nice about and tell her im ok now but i dont want to relive the past and that she should move on?Im a little vindictive here, cause i really felt it was unjustly treated and most of all upset that she got as far as away with it and i had to suffer for the selfish actions she took. [/sIZE] [sIZE=2]I wont lie i still do harbor some feelings but i try to use my anger to remind me what she did to me.[/sIZE] [sIZE=2]Could you please provide some personal expiences and objective advice on what i should do if the day comes when she tries to get in touch with me?[/sIZE]
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