been with MM 3 years but he still wont get divorced! Is this a red flag?

[child_of_isis]

If he tires of you, divorce/marriage will not prevent him from going to another woman. Be it his ex or someone new.

 

You are aware of this aren't you?

 

 

 

I can't help but feel like once he's tired of me, he'll just go back with her. I feel unimportant, and not respected or taken seriously. Arrgh...

 

[Crestfallen_KH]

Why are you still in a relationship with someone where you feel unimportant, not respected, or taken seriously?

 

You don't always have to wait for him to call the shots in your relationship, you know.

[Impudent Oyster]

I totally understand HAL. If (again, god forbid) something like that should happen, THAT would be the deal breaker for me.

 

But then again, I would be notified not her. I've been his emergency contact for quite a few years now since he changed doctors.

 

That's not what HAL means when he says he's not interested in protecting you. What he means is, if a man loves a woman, he wants to make sure she is protected if he died, in other words, that she could still live in their home, that she could take care of their children and herself, ie..provide for her financially.

 

Are you the benefactor of his life insurance policy? I know my husband has a very large policy because HE wants to make sure I never have to leave our home or have to work or that the children couldn't go to the colleges of their choice should anything happen to him. He's very concerned about taking care of us in the event of a tragedy.

 

So, if anything happens to your MM, who will be taken care of, you or his wife?

[TogetherForever]

That's not what HAL means when he says he's not interested in protecting you. What he means is, if a man loves a woman, he wants to make sure she is protected if he died, in other words, that she could still live in their home, that she could take care of their children and herself, ie..provide for her financially.

 

Are you the benefactor of his life insurance policy? I know my husband has a very large policy because HE wants to make sure I never have to leave our home or have to work or that the children couldn't go to the colleges of their choice should anything happen to him. He's very concerned about taking care of us in the event of a tragedy.

 

So, if anything happens to your MM, who will be taken care of, you or his wife?

 

I'm not making this out to be about money. She can have it. Not that either of them have a red cent anyway.

My relationship is not about $$ in any way, shape or form.

She's not interested in a divorce either. Maybe she's thinking of $$.

Whatever makes her happy.

I wouldn't need to be "taken care of" if my s/o was no longer around.

TF

[Impudent Oyster]

It's not a question of needing to be taken care of, it's a matter of him WANTING to take care of you.

 

It's easy to whisper sweet nothings, especially when they really mean nothing.

[TogetherForever]

It's not a question of needing to be taken care of, it's a matter of him WANTING to take care of you.

 

It's easy to whisper sweet nothings, especially when they really mean nothing.

 

What really matters to me is that we both take care of each other now.

When the day comes that one of us is no longer on this earth, we'll deal with that then.

The sweet nothings that we both whisper to each other til then mean everything!!

:love:TF

[HappyAtLast]

With all due respect, IO is correct about what I meant.

 

Whilst I certainly harbor no bad feelings about my XW, there was no way that she was going to benefit from all that I had worked for. I want my wife to be able to live out her life, knowing that I loved her enough to take care of her, whether I am alive or dead. I will not have her wanting for ANYTHING.

 

You can say what you wish about the $$ not mattering, and you don't need to admit it to us, but please admit to yourself that something is not right with this picture.

 

Respectfully,

HAL

[TogetherForever]

With all due respect, IO is correct about what I meant.

 

Whilst I certainly harbor no bad feelings about my XW, there was no way that she was going to benefit from all that I had worked for. I want my wife to be able to live out her life, knowing that I loved her enough to take care of her, whether I am alive or dead. I will not have her wanting for ANYTHING.

 

You can say what you wish about the $$ not mattering, and you don't need to admit it to us, but please admit to yourself that something is not right with this picture.

 

Respectfully,

HAL

 

My s/o & his wife just claim that they don't want to put out the $$ for a divorce.

Maybe I'm just taking thier word for it??? My divorce only cost $389.00 & was final in 60 days. I don't know. Maybe it's time for me to bring up the subject again.

TF