HeartBrokenInNY Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 PoshPrincess, I can understand about sending those texts and emails. Its as if there is a need for you to have a connection with him, no matter how trite. Like 2 small particles in the universe, making a connection... and if it couldn't be in real life, then at least the thought of being connected spritually (or whatever) will make not having him there easier to bear. I too wrote a few emails to him when I was drunk. Even as I was writing them, I knew I would curse myself the next morning, but that didn't stop me. His replies were usually something like "You are not the only one. You know I love you too but it doesn't change anything" or "It will only make matters harder than they are right now" The reason? I knew it frustrated him, and sometimes that was my intention. Most of the times it was just as though..."if he only realized how much I loved him...." Sometimes hearing him say "I love you" to me was all I wanted. He doesn't say that too much, most of the time he would text "thinking of you" or "miss you" although there have been a few "love you" texts... sigh....... I wish I could get to that point of not caring, as it is now, it seems like he only calls once or twice a day (usually as he is driving home)... if I could be patient enough not to call him (I usually cant hold out and end up calling first. Before coming onto this board, I thought my situation was kind of rare and unique, but only now I realize that it's actually not. But that doesn't really change anything though, does it? I just hope that when the time comes (and I can feel it coming), I can remind myself that there are other OW out there that are in the same situation as me, and that I am not the only one.
Author PoshPrincess Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 Hi Heartbroken! I feel for you as, although I sometimes struggle, things are nowhere near as bad as they were when MM and I were in touch. I am strangely grateful to him for ignoring me, as much as it hurts, as towards the end I just felt like I was bashing my head against a brick wall. Yeah, I miss him like crazy but it just wasn't meant to be
GreenEyedLady Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Hi Heartbroken! I feel for you as, although I sometimes struggle, things are nowhere near as bad as they were when MM and I were in touch. I am strangely grateful to him for ignoring me, as much as it hurts, as towards the end I just felt like I was bashing my head against a brick wall. Yeah, I miss him like crazy but it just wasn't meant to be ((POSH)) I'm glad that you see that it is better now, even though it hurts...I'm sorry for your loss and glad that you are moving on...
overandout Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Hi Heartbroken! I feel for you as, although I sometimes struggle, things are nowhere near as bad as they were when MM and I were in touch. I am strangely grateful to him for ignoring me, as much as it hurts, as towards the end I just felt like I was bashing my head against a brick wall. Yeah, I miss him like crazy but it just wasn't meant to be PP I can feel you are hurting but honestly it is much better for you that you he isn't trying to contact you. Unless he is prepared to give you what you want there really is no point. If he contacted you with "nothing positive to say" it really just perpetuates your anguish. I am glad that you are making progress--I know it's not a piece of cake but NC will make it easier.
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