woman_inlove Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Ive been reading and searching a lot of items about loving a married man and from this site i got all the information i need. I am a single mom w ith two beautiful daughter. I have been separated for more than four years now currently living in with a partner. I must say that im totally disappointed w ith my current relationship, leaving me looking and searching still for my frog prince. I must say im tired already, i happen to date one collegue but what he wanted is purely sexual , which is not my cup of tea. I wanted to be committed to s omeone who will be with me for the rest of my life. In short, the relationship didnt work out. Recently on my way back to my home country, i happen to meet someone, un expectedly. He is a Flight Steward, he was kinda nice with me, offered if we can meet up soon . We exchange business cards and i accepted his invitation for dinner. We went out a couple of times, until we finally discovered one day how we missed each other a lot. Weve been in touch, he would always find a way to get a flight back to see me. We eventually realized that we're already in love with each other. Soon after i went back to the country where i am currently based, he would do the same thing, finding all the means to see me , he is sending me messages everyday, and would not end the day without talking to each other. In short, we're very much in love with each other now. One day, he took a flight to see me, and im totally surprise when he HONESTLY INFORMED ME THAT IS MARRIED AND THAT HE GOT TWO KIDS. He said, he cannnot lie to me any longer because he loves me that much, and he went to see me hoping that i will still accept him, and make sure that we will continue with our relationship. He even mentioned that theyve been married for 20 years , but staying together under one roof for the sake of kids and that he doesnt love his wife anymore, though theyre sharing the same bed still. He said that he discovered his wife having an affair with his bestfriend, had an affair with another guy but he kept mum about it because he is afraid with what his whole family will tell him. His family was not in favor of him marrying that lady he said. TO make the story short, i feel happy whenever he is telling me how happy he is having me in his life, that he doesnt wanna lose me , that im making him feel 10 years younger. i know what im doing is not correct, im not sure if i do really love him or maybe i am just disappointed with my current relationship and just enjoying the attention and love he is giving me now. There are days i would feel really happy having him but most of the time im thinking of ending the relationship soon. I know the consequences of my action, and am very much afraid of any eventuallity. My problem now is , how im gonna end the relationship. I told him that i can be his best friend for life, but he wouldnt agree. I need your opinion please. help me enligthen my mind.
whichwayisup Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I have been separated for more than four years now currently living in with a partner. I must say that im totally disappointed w ith my current relationship, leaving me looking and searching still for my frog prince. First thing you need to do is let this partner that you're living with, go. It's so unfair of you to cheat on him, hoping to find someone else. Don't you think the man you're living with deserves a chance at love with someone else? Break up with him and let this man go...He doesn't deserve you cheating on him. Once that is over, THEN deal with the MM.
PoshPrincess Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 First thing you need to do is let this partner that you're living with, go. It's so unfair of you to cheat on him, hoping to find someone else. Don't you think the man you're living with deserves a chance at love with someone else? Break up with him and let this man go...He doesn't deserve you cheating on him. Once that is over, THEN deal with the MM. I agree with WWIU. You aren't going to be able to think about anything whilst still in your live-in relationship. You have to be fair to him too. He deserves to be able to find someone who truly loves him. Re the mm, speaking from personal experience and wishing I had done things differently, I would end the R with him altogether. Once he is free, then you can pursue things with him. If you both really love each other then you will be prepared to wait. Just prepare YOURSELF for every possible outcome, as it is likely that he will NEVER leave his W and kids, even if he IS serious about you. Also, from what I have heard flight attendants are pretty well known for having 'a girl in every port' as they say. I am not saying your mm is like this but just trying to make you aware of all possibilities. Sorry for not being able to say something more positive. Best of luck. x
TryingToHeal3 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Your love needs to divorce the wife whom he has no love for, and is only staying with her for the kids??? There is nothing wrong with your feelings for each other as long as you both do the right thing and leave your mates. You would want that done to you...I hope. I know I would. Good Luck.
norajane Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I have been separated for more than four years now So you're still married? The rule is one relationship at a time - you have a live in bf and you need to make decision about whether you want to be with him or not. Until you make that decision, you really can't offer anyone anything but part of yourself, part of your emotional energy - and you're offering your partner a lot of lies and deception and taking away his choice to make an informed decision about HIS life, and HIS love. Once you end that relationship, and have some time BY YOURSELF without a man and can stand on your own two feet, then you are ready to be in a relationship. And that goes for your flight steward, too. He cannot offer you much until he resolves his relationship with his wife. If he's not getting a divorce, then he doesn't have much to offer you either. Good relationships, strong relationships, partnerships only involve 2 people, not 4.
Author woman_inlove Posted October 21, 2007 Author Posted October 21, 2007 Thanks to all you, for the woNderful advice you have given me and i truly i appreciate it. I thought nobody would pay attention to my misery . You helped me distinguished truth from falsehood. GOD BLESS..................................... THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU THANKYOUthankyouTHANKYOU
bestadvisor Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 He even mentioned that theyve been married for 20 years , but staying together under one roof for the sake of kids and that he doesnt love his wife anymore, though theyre sharing the same bed still. You're an idiot if you completely believe his stories. What cheating husband will tell his other woman: "hey baby, I want to continue a realtionship with you, but I LOVE my wife very much." You'll be surpised to find out how many OW later find out from the wife the lies he's been telling both of you. What you're doing now is wrecking a home and a marrage of someone else. Can you live with that? Can you look at your self in the mirror? Can you sleep well with that?
GreenEyedLady Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 In short, we're very much in love with each other now. One day, he took a flight to see me, and im totally surprise when he HONESTLY INFORMED ME THAT IS MARRIED AND THAT HE GOT TWO KIDS. He said that he discovered his wife having an affair with his bestfriend, had an affair with another guy but he kept mum about it because he is afraid with what his whole family will tell him. His family was not in favor of him marrying that lady he said. i know what im doing is not correct, im not sure if i do really love him or maybe i am just disappointed with my current relationship and just enjoying the attention and love he is giving me now. I know the consequences of my action, and am very much afraid of any eventuallity. My problem now is , how im gonna end the relationship. I told him that i can be his best friend for life, but he wouldnt agree. I'm not going to enlighten you...Just help you deal with the situation that you find yourself in... If you're unhappy with your current R, why not end it? It's not meeting your needs, causing you to be unhappy and do things that are hurting someone else in the process (if he knew)... If you want to stay, then it seems like you need to start within that R to make it whole again and that starts with your S/O being aware of problems in the R...He may think everything is just fine... If you want to end it with the MM, then do that...He doesn't have to agree to anything, the same way you don't have to agree to anything... JMO
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