wowIlose Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Ok its only been 6 days and she called me this morning, usualy I am up for work at the time she called but my phone was on vibrate and my alarm didn't wake me up. Also, I had no clue she called me because it didn't say missed call. Just went into history..so I didn't pick up.. I later found out that she phoned me because she sent me a message on facebook later in the night. This is what it said.. "btw, i only called you this morning because it was an emergency. i obviosly wouldnt call for any other reason, but thanks for ignoring it.. glad to see i'm so easy to delete from your life." I been going out with friends posting pictures of me at parties on facebook, trying to move on , I still love her and want her back but she broke it up with me. Shes the one that erased me and I refuse to be a friend. Already told her I can't be friends. I also know it couldn't of been a big emergency since she left no voicemail or never sent a text which is a lot more effective dont you think? I haven't replied yet.. I want to.. I am not sure what to say I was thinking just be honest and say.. "was sleeping, if you have an emergency leave a voicemail. Hope all is good." But iam not sure.. I don't want her to check in on me and think she still has me on a string, I want to move on unless she wants me back.. I refuse to be her friend its to painful! need your advice quick!
Pentula77 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Her ego is checking in....she's pissed you have demonstrated your ability to move on...remember she broke up with you so don't give her an inch. And don't send that lame message.
Author wowIlose Posted October 17, 2007 Author Posted October 17, 2007 understood.. I suppose she'll have to do better than that to get me talkin again. Its painful to ignore her like this but she needs to realize when she broke up with me she ended everything. I do want her back though.. How do I know she might want me back? When shes litterly telling me?
Pentula77 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 That's the hard part...the paradox is as soon as you become a sparten her attraction builds again (you become a challenge) which makes it harder for you to determine whether she is genuine or not. Most of the time though once the girl breaks it off it's over... I'd give her 3 months with nc period. If she wants back in after that then reassess and make her earn it. Then continue to be a sparten. Ur doing a good job...she needs to know that you can walk away without crumbling into a blithering mess. She'll probably try and esculate the drama though to test you out. Good luck and don't be afraid to lose her.
Krytie TV Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 understood.. I suppose she'll have to do better than that to get me talkin again. Its painful to ignore her like this but she needs to realize when she broke up with me she ended everything. I do want her back though.. How do I know she might want me back? When shes litterly telling me? Thanks for being a positive example for people on this site. Many more people could benefit from your resolve. You lose everything by responding. At this point at least. If she truly has something to say to you, you'll know it, and you know that to be true.
ninjaturtles Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 DONT REPLY!! dont give her the power see, if u dont reply her, its more likely to work in ur favvour. I know you dont wanna push her away cos you still like her, but SHE BROKE up with u, she KNOWS u are hurt..SHE erased you from her life, so whats she talking about?? I hate it when people try to pull that guilt card. You have told her to would change and be there for her, so whats the problem? is there someone else is likes or something? Dont let her use you for emotional support, she is either yours or she is not. dont forget, she KNOWS you are hurting, you are probably just being a man anyway by not conacting her. When i dumped my boyf , he ignored me totally..and of course i called him back telling him i wanted him back. i dumped him for no just cause, and realisty hit me that he might be moving on. SO...dont conact her...remember NC helps you to move in incase sh doesnt come back and also it may help her realise that you are not a wussy who is going to hang on to her for as long as she wants. Im sure many other girls out there would fancy you, so its not like you are appealing. Its hard but dont contact her, unless she wants to talk about something. about both of you..lol.
ninjaturtles Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 i MEANT ur appealing.lol I know you may be thinking..'how would she tell me if she wants to come back if i am not contacting her'..dont worry. Juts stay NC for a while. She needs to feel that tension, she needs to pancik that that you are not there waitng for her like a lapdog.
Pentula77 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 i MEANT ur appealing.lol I know you may be thinking..'how would she tell me if she wants to come back if i am not contacting her'..dont worry. Juts stay NC for a while. She needs to feel that tension, she needs to pancik that that you are not there waitng for her like a lapdog. there you go fella's straight from the kitycats mouth
sedgwick Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 She broke up with you. You owe her nothing. And like you said, if it's really an emergency, she can leave a vm or send a text. You're doing the right thing, don't send the message. It's just fine to make her wonder -- after all, my guess is that you've spent plenty of time wondering what *she's* doing. Just keep up the NC, you'll feel a lot better about yourself!
Author wowIlose Posted October 17, 2007 Author Posted October 17, 2007 wow thanks everyone. I feel much better not responding now. Glad I decided to post here instead of leaving it to my emotionally weak mind right now. Thanks all.
CaliGuy Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 "btw, i only called you this morning because it was an emergency. i obviosly wouldnt call for any other reason, but thanks for ignoring it.. glad to see i'm so easy to delete from your life." Let me translate for you: "How DARE you not be on a string, at my beck and call, whenever I want you??????" I haven't replied yet.. I want to.. I am not sure what to say I was thinking just be honest and say.. "was sleeping, if you have an emergency leave a voicemail. Hope all is good." NO! Do not reply! But iam not sure.. I don't want her to check in on me and think she still has me on a string, I want to move on unless she wants me back.. I refuse to be her friend its to painful! need your advice quick! You have it. Don't say anything at all. Let her think long and hard about it. Continue to work on yourself and stay on the path you're on.
brothermartin Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Im with the ladies on this one! Dont let her tugg on your heart strings man! If she made that bed, then let her lie in it! But...if she dose want to come back, make her say it. Then you can be merciful.
Author wowIlose Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 ugh.. what a terrible day. I deleted her of my facebook today... took me about 30 minutes with my mouse over the delete button.. than another 15 minutes over the "are you sure button". Some guy I never heard of keeps posting on her facebook and is now attending one of her events... very obvious hes trying to get her.. grr its killin me. Had flashes of her being with some other person romantically(we are each others first, so this is EXTREMELY difficult to handle).. broke down crying, cant sleep, havent slept well since break up.. didn't break NC tho.. Today is probably the most painful day so far... in a few hours it will be 7 days NC.. Its not getting any easier.. :/
Spinderella Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I actually disagree with everyone here. I think the message you were thinking of sending was fine. So just because someone doesnt want to be with you, you would no longer be there in an emergency? THATS ego. It gives YOU power to be a nice person, noone else. Its too late to send one now anyway, but, just for future, you can be nice without allowing someone to manipulate you, if thats what they are trying to do. Just make sure you know the difference. Its not that hard, you know what an emergency is or not.
Spinderella Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Having said all that. You are doing well to move on. Good move to delete her from facebook if it is torturing you.
Author wowIlose Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 spinderella, i agree with you... I just know it couldn't of been an emergency.. If I had an emergency I would leave a voicemail or text or make more than one attempt at a phone call... It might have been something urgent but an emergency.. I just told her a week ago I cant be friends.. so I mean come on, I am pretty sure shes testing me to see if I am still gonna be there for her whenever she wants. Shes got a guy chasing her now and last thing I need to do is try to be friends with the possibility of her rebounding on this guy... which I am almost sure will happen, well I am not sure, but hes come out of freakin no where and acting like he knows her and been in her life forever... ... I would be there in 2 seconds if this was an emergency.. its not EGO.. trust me.. I already laid it out for her, told her I would work on everything thats made things the way they are.. I took responsibility for a lot of this and told her it wouldn't be like this. I did everything possible except this.. and this is what she wanted in the first place..
Spinderella Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I wasnt talking about you, I was talking about your responses. So, you do know the difference between manipulation and an emergency, and you know where to draw the line. Thats good. You are doing well, thinking clearly, you are doing REALLY well.
CaliGuy Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I actually disagree with everyone here. I think the message you were thinking of sending was fine. So just because someone doesnt want to be with you, you would no longer be there in an emergency? THATS ego. It gives YOU power to be a nice person, noone else. Its too late to send one now anyway, but, just for future, you can be nice without allowing someone to manipulate you, if thats what they are trying to do. Just make sure you know the difference. Its not that hard, you know what an emergency is or not. Being nice to someone who isn't treating you well is not being a good person. It's being a door mat.
Author wowIlose Posted October 22, 2007 Author Posted October 22, 2007 This forum sucks big time for not having private pms.
niceguy27 Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Ha ha. You have to get up to like 150 posts b4 you can PM I think.
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