underpants Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 I didn't mean to suggest. That is why I noted (if applicable). It is just that I have followed your version of things and I don't want to see you get manipulated back into any sort of relationship with him. Because he is not so nice. Who knows about the ex, or him. I am fairly certain he does not treat her better and eventually if you keep reaching out to him he will view you as an option. I am glad to hear you have other stuff going on and I realize that you are not too far out of the break up. So the analysis still plagues you somewhat. For your own healing I would suggest absolute NC for a few months. Not even responding to him if he contacts you. I thought I remembered you posting that a previous ex also treated you bad. That is why I thought some counceling or group therapy might be beneficial. No shame it seeking answers and learning what triggers an attraction to an unstable or unsuitable partner. The best of luck to you.
Author missmebaby Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 well i spoke with him on the phone again last night. my mom had a small heart attack yesterday (shes gonna be ok) and since he was always close to my family i just wanted to let him know. well i sent him a text that said "mom had a heart attack today." he called me right away and was asking me all about her and he said he might come to see her. i said "yea right you wouldn't." and he said "yea i would, i loved your family. id be coming to see her, not you." we talked for about 45 mins. he was being kinda sarcastic to me and making insulting remarks to me and laughing about it like it was the funniest thing in the world. basically just being very immature and trying to hurt my feelings. he knows that i am kind of talking to an ex boyfriend that i dated right before him and he was being nosy asking me questions about him and whether we were back together and what did my parents think of that, etc. then i asked him how he and his ex gf were doing because last time i talked to him he was trying to get back together with her. he was like crazy about her and wanted her back so bad. but this time when i asked him he laughed and said "i canned her." he thought it was so funny that he dumped her. i asked him what happened and he said "it just wasnt the same, i realized i dont like her anymore so i told her it wasnt working out and now she hates me and wont talk to me." then he said hes dating a new girl that he really likes because shes a rich snob and thats the kind of girls he loves. i was the only girl that he dated that wasnt a gorgeous fake looking rich snob....and thats most of the reason why he wasnt attracted to me and didnt want me anymore. kind of sad if you ask me. then he said "im gonna keep f*cking em until i find the right one." and laughed like hes so proud of himself. he disgusts me. right before we got off the phone we got onto the issue of why he doesnt want to talk to me anymore and he said because thats how he is with everyone, he cuts them out of his life so he doesnt have to think about them. he said "it might be messed up but it works for me. that way i dont have to think about you anymore. it makes things alot easier." then he said "my girl's calling i gotta go, bye." and that was it. i dont know what to think about what he said. does that mean hes not over me and by not talking to me it helps him to get over me or what?? i cant understand why he makes these little sarcastic mean remarks to me to hurt me but then wants to know about who im dating and who ive slept with and acts jealous then says he doesnt talk to me because it makes things easier. he really disgusts me with the way he acts now and laughs about the mean messed up things hes done to me and to other girls. its like i dont know him at all. he wasnt like that at all when we were together, or at least i didnt think he was. just like when he said he was gonna keep f*cking girls till he found the right one, and laughed about it. when we were together he was always saying how he was so careful about who he slept with and i was only the 5th one in his 25 years and only one had been a one night stand. its so sad that you never really know somebody and they can totally pretend to be someone else.
ninjaturtles Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 He is such a JERK!lol.. Im sorry to laugh, but somethings he said make him sound like he is 13!! Why are you still sad about this guy? He has dumped the ex he claimed was better than you..and now he is with a rich snob..lmao..he is so immature. What a looser. I dont know why you are still talking to this guy..if you avoid him, you wont have to listen to him tell you all this...he is clearly trying to make you jealous..he sounds like he is on crack. Anywa, you need to go NC.....dont text him stuff about your family..you need to make a clean break, this 'boy'..is no good for you..see the way he hurt his ex whom claimed was better than you. There is a limit to how much a woman should take from anyman, and clearly, this guy is clowining with you. Please stay away from him, date..do something and just stay away..he sounds drunk!
Author missmebaby Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 yea doesnt he sound like a total idiot. thats the reason im still upset and still trying to figure him out...because i thought i knew him. i thought he was a decent guy. i cant believe that i wasted 9 months of my life with a guy who claims he never really even liked me. he just "thought" he did on and off. the whole time we were together i thought he was in love with me, i thought i was so lucky to have him and i thought he was thinking the same about me, but i guess not? even though he went out of his way for me alot and always wanted to see me and at times treated me like a total princess and talked about us getting married, spent lots of money on me, and acted almost obsessed with me just to turn around and tell me he was faking the whole time? i guess i just wondered if he was telling the truth about forgetting about me and never really liking me. because if he is then i am a horrible judge of character and i need to be much more careful with the next guy.
underpants Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Miss me, I eat these guys for lunch. Too easy. You have the capacity to rise above all of his dysfunctions and let go of the weight of his problems. It is your choice.
birdie Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Hi miss me, Please don't worry about your judgment of character too much, yes you have to be careful but make sure you don't get too worried about dating other people. When I read your post about your mum's heart attack and how your ex behaved, it confirmed what I had thought all along while reading the thread. You made a vague hint somewhere that his parents weren't around when he was in hospital and that you looked after him. It sounds like he has some major family issues, that's why he pushes people away. Sure he is a jerk and there is nothing you can do about his situation because it is something that he has to recognise but since you are looking for an answer to why he is like that, I think the answer to that is in his background. He pushes people away because he doesn't believe they will stick around for him so he gets the knife in before anyone else does. He goes for rich b*tches because he knows what he gets with them. He had an issue about his ex, once he worked through it and he realised he had closure, he moved on. He is a very troubled boy and you sound like a really nice girl so that's why you thought you could help him. You can't. Just make sure in the future you pick up the signs sooner and move on quickly when there is any kind of dysfunctional or unhealthy behaviour. we all have to learn. good luck!
Author missmebaby Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 he called me again last night. i couldnt believe it when i saw his name on the caller ID. its the first time hes taken the initiative to call me out of nowhere, and i had just talked to him 2 days ago. i was actually sitting at another ex's house waiting for him to get home because we were going to hang out. so i answered, the current ex asked me what i was doing. i told him i was sitting outside. he said "sitting outside? why are you doing that?" i said "because im waiting." he said "what, you have a date or something?" i said "yea i guess you could call it that." he said "oh you're waiting on justin to come over?" i said "no actually im waiting at his house for him to get home." then he started asking me questions about how often im over there and if we were getting back together, etc. then i asked him what he wanted, why he had called me. he said "hows mom doing?" i told him she had come home from the hospital and was doing ok. then he was asking me what all she had had done at the hospital. then he changed the subject and we were talking about other things. i was surprised that he talked to me as long as he did. he had plenty of chances to get off the phone, but he always thought of other things to talk about. then the ex i was waiting for came home so i told my current ex i had to go. he said "why do you have to go? is justin there? now i really want to talk to you." and basically acting like a jerk and trying to cause problems. i finally said "alright seriously im gonna go." and he said bye and hung up. it was kind of nice to get a jealous response from him. i need to stop talking to him. i dont understand what he wants from me. i was just so surprised that he was actually calling me that i couldnt help but to answer.
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