slider Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 i need advise on what i should do. I met this woman who looked almost the same age as myself only to discover that she was 13years older and has a 5 yr old child. Is there anything wrong or something i might be missing to be with her. I love her but i actually think she loves me more than i love her. She will do anything for me like sacrificing her time just to be with me. Everything feels so really, is there something im not seeing because my parents have just else but negative thoughts and comments.
Moose Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 My wife is older.....ok....only by 8 months.....but hey, the way I look at it, she is already matured, is probably done with the partying and has a sense of responsibility.......go for it!
burning 4 revenge Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 i need advise on what i should do. I met this woman who looked almost the same age as myself only to discover that she was 13years older and has a 5 yr old child. Is there anything wrong or something i might be missing to be with her. I love her but i actually think she loves me more than i love her. She will do anything for me like sacrificing her time just to be with me. Everything feels so really, is there something im not seeing because my parents have just else but negative thoughts and comments. Older women adore younger men. There is nothing that arouses a woman's passion more than a signifcantly younger guy. When I was twenty I had a brief fling with a forty-two year old woman and I had to break it off, because she was too intense and serious. Man I wish I could go back to being twenty....
Touche Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Older women adore younger men. There is nothing that arouses a woman's passion more than a signifcantly younger guy. When I was twenty I had a brief fling with a forty-two year old woman and I had to break it off, because she was too intense and serious. Man I wish I could go back to being twenty.... I can think of a few things more arousing than a "significantly" younger guy. Slider, can you tell your ages? I think that matters.
DonaldaG Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 If it were switched around, you were the older one, I bet no one would have anything to say about it. If you love her, go for it! My boyfriend is a decade younger than me, no problems. If it's really bothering your parents, I would sit them down and try to figure out why. Thirteen years, depending on how old you are now and your life circumstances could be significant or not. IMHO it's not that big of an age difference when we're talking about people over 25. Now if she was 20, 25, or 30 years older that's another story.
Lizzie60 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 with DonaldaG... If the man was 13 years older, it would just be 'normal' LOL I lived common-law 5 years with a guy 12 yrs younger. He wanted to marry me on my 50th birthday... Anyway.. I only date younger men... anywhere from 7 to 30 years younger. I say go for it.. never mind what others think or say. Oh.. btw.. how old are you?
RollMeAway Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Oh.. btw.. how old are you? Hey, I think he's found someone already Sorry just needed a laugh.
Trialbyfire Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Marring people, no matter what age, isn't recommended. Depending on how badly you mar them, you could get 5 - 10 years. I'm not sure she would wait for you. How old are you?
Faith4u Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I am 5 years older than my husband. I like to be active sexually - more than him!!!! Honestly, i am thiner, healthier and age does not tell you much about how compatible you are with your partner. Are you compatible? Do you really love her? or just a liking love, cause you want to marry her, you need to be in love, you say she loved you more that is why I am bringing this up. Good luck! i need advise on what i should do. I met this woman who looked almost the same age as myself only to discover that she was 13years older and has a 5 yr old child. Is there anything wrong or something i might be missing to be with her. I love her but i actually think she loves me more than i love her. She will do anything for me like sacrificing her time just to be with me. Everything feels so really, is there something im not seeing because my parents have just else but negative thoughts and comments.
Author slider Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 Im 22, which makes her 35. She has never been married and stays with her mother. She has told her mother about us and the mother says she got no problem with it as long as she is happy. The mother wants me to go and visit them.
Author slider Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 I am 5 years older than my husband. I like to be active sexually - more than him!!!! Honestly, i am thiner, healthier and age does not tell you much about how compatible you are with your partner. Are you compatible? Do you really love her? or just a liking love, cause you want to marry her, you need to be in love, you say she loved you more that is why I am bringing this up. Good luck! Yes I am compatible. I do love her and I don't have any doubts about it. When I say she loves me more, she will do anything for me. She says she is too scared to loose me because of the current response from my parents. My other family members says they will support the decision which ever I make.
Trialbyfire Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 In your other thread, you make reference to this being your first real relationship. Age gap aside, I wouldn't recommend anyone marry their first love, especially one with a 5 year old child, which you will have to share responsibility of, if you marry this woman. You've got so much more life to live, things to experience and changes to make. Don't tie yourself down at 22, with someone who's already had the experiences beyond you. Why not wait for a few more years and if you still feel the same way about her, then get married.
tomboy Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I agree that there's nothing wrong with marrying an older woman. You must be mature for your age! But seriously you should also consider if you have similar goals. She may be desperately seeking a father figure for her child. Perhaps that's a role you wish to play, but be clear up front with each other about your expectations for the marriage over the next 5 to 10 years.
norajane Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 If you were 30 and she were 13 years older, I would say go for it, if you truly love her and can see yourself spending your whole life with her. But at your age, I think you're too young to make any serious commitments. You've just started living as an adult, and you will change so much during this decade. Even in 5 years, you will look back and realize how much you've changed during this time. So, I'd say wait until you have had an opportunity to experience more of life, and to learn who you really are and what is important to you before committing to anyone, regardless of her age.
Curmudgeon Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 There has to be a reason she's 35, never been married AND still lives with her mother, et al. There also has to be a reason her mother is eager to have you visit. DANGER, Will Robinson. DANGER!
Touche Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I agree. This is a recipe for disaster. You're not at the same stage in life on many levels.
Curmudgeon Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 He wanted to marry me on my 50th birthday... Since you've portrayed/claimed only being in your 40s!
Lizzie60 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Since you've portrayed/claimed only being in your 40s! I met him when I was almost 45...he was 32... we were together 5 years... I left him just before I turned 50... but he asked me to marry him on my 50th bd... I don't get your post????
Curmudgeon Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 If memory serves, since your advent here your age has ranged from 46-47 up to 55.
annieo Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I am 9 years older than my husband (he's my second, number one is the father of my kids, 13 and 10). I met him when he was 26 and I was 35. There have been some issues along the way (mostly with family, and others that are just normal relationship/honesty stuff) and I will admit that I have sometimes felt more insecure with him than I did in previous relationships, mostly because I worry that he is going to wake up one day, look at me and see an old hag (which I don't think I am - I look younger than my age and I am pretty, or so I've been told (sounds so arrogant!)). But here we are, 7 years later and still going strong. I can't imagine being with anyone else and he seems to feel the same way too. And the age thing has really become a non-issue. It was only a big deal for the first few months we were together, just getting used to the idea and telling friends about us. Love is irrational. My first marriage was very typical in terms of age, etc. but nonetheless, my ex and I did not get along at all! Every day was a battle. Despite some bumps along the road, my current h and I understand each other pretty well. Don't let statistics/numbers interfere with the reality of how you feel.
Lizzie60 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 If memory serves, since your advent here your age has ranged from 46-47 up to 55. You're getting old Curmudgeon...LOL... I never said I was 46-47.. always said I was 54 (when I started here) and now 55...
Ladyjane14 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I'd be flipping out if this was my kid. Like Norajane said... he's in a period of his life where we grow and change sooooo much. If he bogs himself down with a Mommy/Wife and ready-made family... he's going to be wondering where the hell his youth went by the time he's 35. My advice... dump the desperate betty and go get some living done.
Curmudgeon Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 You're getting old Curmudgeon...LOL... It beats the alternative!
4whatItsWorth Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 Im 22, which makes her 35. She has never been married and stays with her mother. She has told her mother about us and the mother says she got no problem with it as long as she is happy. The mother wants me to go and visit them. Warning! Warning! I am 21 and I don't think in the long run you will want to be a father to a child from that age! You have sooo much left to do before you should settle down - don't go with first "best"! If she stays with her mother...how come? I've been dying to get my own place since I was 18...it's not very positive to be living with your mom still at 35...perhaps the mom is eager for her to get married in general? If I were you...I'd date more people before deciding she is "the one"...you don't yet know what's out there.
TheSilentType Posted October 21, 2007 Posted October 21, 2007 There's way more to this situation than you have considered. Bail out now.
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